What you focus on is
what you feel
Has it been a really busy few weeks for you too?
It has been hectic for me.
It has been a fortnight of back to back meetings, delivering
several presentations, conducting telephone coaching, making time with my wife
(who is pregnant with child number 3) and playing with my other two boys,
exercising, returning emails...and that's just in the
mornings!
By midweek, I'm looking for the 'emergency stop' button!
It is easy to get yourself overloaded and overwhelmed when
there is a lot happening in your life.
I'm sure you know this feeling - like there is a never ending
list of things to get done in your life.
It can wear you down...if you let it.
...it all depends on what you focus on.
Your body experiences whatever your mind tells you is true.
(I mentioned this in the last Resilience Review. If you haven't read it
yet, you can read it online at www.bouncebackfast.com/articles.html ).
If you respond to a situation with anger, then your body's
muscles tense up, create stress, and increase your blood pressure. If
you respond to a situation with calmness, your body feels relaxed.
Whatever you allow your mind to focus on is what you will feel.
Take a moment now and prove it for yourself...
Imagine back to a situation that really upset you.
Perhaps it was when a friend betrayed you, when you lost money, when a
business failed,...or when you lost someone special in your life.
Right now, take yourself back to that moment. Remember
what it felt like to experience that pain. Sit with that feeling.
Sit with that feeling of sadness, anger, disappointment or helplessness.
Become aware of how it affects you.
Notice what is happening to your body.
Notice the change in tension in your shoulders, neck, stomach, chest,
buttocks, and scalp.
Become aware of how your body physically responds, in your
breathing, muscle tension, and posture, when you focus your attention on a
negative situation.
OK, stop thinking about that situation now and bring your
attention back to right now. If that visualization has left you feeling
somewhat emotional, then take a few moments to go for a brisk walk, have a
glass of water, then sit back down to read the rest of this article.
Let's continue.
Now, imagine back to a situation that brought you a lot of
happiness.
Perhaps it was an exciting date, a great night out, your wedding day, the
birth of your child, a sporting achievement, a personal success, etc.
Just for a few moments, take yourself back to that happy
moment.
Remember what it felt like to experience that joy again. Imagine you are
back in that situation right now. Soak it all in. Sit with that
feeling. Sit with that feeling of happiness, joy, fun, excitement or
accomplishment. Become aware of how those feelings affect you.
Notice what is happening to your body.
Notice the warmth, energy and buzz you feel in your abdomen, chest,and the
buzz spinning in your head when you focus on that positive event. Become
aware of how your body physically responds when you focus your attention on a
positive situation.
What you focus on is what you feel.
In the same sense...
* When you focus on the negative aspects of other people, they tend
to bother you more often.
* When you focus on the negative aspects of your business/work,
you tend to feel more
uptight, annoyed or stressed.
It is not that people, work or life bothers us. Rather, it is
the negative aspects of people, work or life that we focus on that tend to
bother us.
Becoming resilient to pressure is a choice.
How fast you bounce back from stress, pressure and burnout is a choice.
> Question: So, how do you
choose to be resilient?
> Answer: By practicing
gratitude
Dr. Michael McCollough, of Southern Methodist University in
Dallas, Texas, and Dr. Robert Emmons, of the University of California at
Davis, say their initial scientific study indicates that gratitude plays a
significant role in a person's sense of well-being. [1]
They conducted the Research Project on Gratitude and
Thanksgiving. The study required several hundred people in three different
groups to keep daily diaries. The first group kept a diary of the events that
occurred during the day, while the second group recorded their
unpleasant experiences. The last group made a daily list of things for which
they were grateful.
The results of the study indicated that daily gratitude
exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm,
determination, optimism and energy. Additionally, the gratitude
group experienced less depression and stress, was more likely to help others,
exercised more regularly and made more progress toward personal goals.
According to the findings, people who feel grateful are also more likely to
feel loved. McCollough and Emmons also noted that gratitude encouraged a
positive cycle of reciprocal kindness among people since one act of gratitude
encourages another.
In an experimental comparison, those who kept gratitude
journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical
symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic
about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life
events (Emmons & McCullough, 2003). [2]
So, the next time you start feeling overwhelmed by your
workload, business crises, or relationship dramas, realise that you been
infected by the illness known as 'accidental negative focus
syndrome'.
Don't worry, the remedy is quick to apply and it is fast
working : )
Action Steps:
1. Frequency of gratitude.
A daily gratitude intervention (self-guided exercises) resulted
in higher reported levels of the positive states of alertness, enthusiasm,
determination, attentiveness and energy compared to
a focus on hassles or a downward social comparison [2]
Make a daily practice of gratitude.
Native Americans teach their children to wake up being thankful
for each new day. [3]
Before getting out of bed each morning (or whilst in the
shower), take just 30 seconds to recount 5 things that you are grateful for in
your life.
It may be
* what is going right in your life
* the little things that add joy to you life
* the aspects of yourself that you enjoy and value
* the things in your life that you have accomplished -
personal, physical and professional
2. Small gratitude
Start with small aspects of your life to focus your gratitude
on.
If you eat cereal for breakfast, be grateful for having fresh
milk in your fridge - which you didn't have to go out and milk the cow
yourself for. Try being grateful for traffic - which means that you have
a car. Try being grateful for bumping into rude people - which reminds
you
of how fortunate you are to have the type of friends you have.
It might seem ridiculous to be grateful for milk, traffic or
rude people, but every time you are grateful for something in your life, you
give your body a burst of optimism and energy. When done consistently it
can act as an energy booster.
Focus on being grateful for the little stuff.
3. Systemised gratitude
Keep a written record (like a notepad or diary) of what you are
grateful for.
Each day, write in something new that you are grateful for, or
expand in more detail on a previous point of gratitude.
Actually writing it down enhances your sensory focus on the
activity.
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Creative
visualization is the technique of using your
imagination to create pictures of yourself
achieving a desired goal or outcome and
focusing on that image until you achieve
your objective.