Are you looking
for more calm satisfying experience with you daily
Do you get frustrated with yourself at the
end of the day because you've gotten stressed,
unfocused or agitated?
Are you tired of getting over emotional and worn
Whether you are experiencing one or all of these
feelings here are my 5 best tips on reducing the
unwanted feelings so that you will feel calm and
satisfied with yourself each day.
1.Catch yourself when you exhibit a
feeling of behavior that you don't like and change
At first you may not notice the feeling until
after you have gone through it, that's fine.
Think about how you would rather have felt.
Think about how you would rather have handled
yourself. Decide how you want to do it next time.
As you continue with this process each day you
will find that you will notice more easily what you
are doing throughout the day.
You will begin to catch yourself earlier and
earlier as you do this.
Eventually, you will be seeing yourself while you
are doing it, then stop yourself.
At some point you will be able to notice before
you even begin to feel and react in the undesirable
Here is where you will actually begin to change
the way you react to the situations in your life and
change your behavior.
2. Stay centered all day by refocusing
throughout the day.
Develop the habit of paying attention to your
mindset as the day goes on.
Several times a day, step away from what you are
doing to get re-centered.
Sit down close your eyes and take several long
slow deep breaths while imagining the tension
washing slowly out of your body.
Notice your breathing getting slower and calmer.
Just think about your breath.
Try to keep from thinking about anything in
It's ok to not be actively thinking for a while!
3. Watch out for your expectations.
You are setting yourself up for failure, upset
and frustration when you set too many standards as
to how you think things should be.
Think about what leads you to getting upset?
Why does it set you?
Notice that you decide how many things should be,
based on your own outlook and desire.
The things others do that are not to your liking,
even the things you do that don't match your
Ask yourself, really how important is it that
they be exactly that way?
Ask, who am I to insist that they are that way?
Does it matter that much?
Is it worth getting myself worked up about?
Choose which expectations are really important
for you to hold on to and which ones are not.
Holding on to many expectations just complicates
your life, with constant judgment.
Simplify your life and reduce the stress!
This applies to your personal life as well as at
Most of us think of delegating as a workplace
skill, but it can apply personally as well.
We are all very busy these days with our
activities and duties.
Trying to fit it all in and get it all
accomplished can lead to tension.
For various reasons, many of us have developed
the habit of thinking we must do it all ourselves.
Take a look at your situation.
Think about it, really, how important is it that
everything must be done perfectly to your standards?
Are you sure there are not other people who can
assist you. Are the other people in your life
pulling their weight?
Many times we get into habitual ruts that don't
need to be as they are.
Look at what has been, with the eye of reducing
the pressure on yourself.
5.Accept other people as one.
As you think of yourself as different and
separate from the rest of mankind, you unknowingly
create thinking and behavior that separates you from
This kind of separate thinking leads us to think
we are superior to others which leads to judgment
then selfish thinking and behavior.
We are then having an internal battle with
others, which brings on fear, competition and
comparison, ending in frustration and anxiety.
Look to discovering how to see yourself as one
with all of mankind, not as separate.
Focus on what we have in common rather that the
relatively small uniqueness.
Copyright 2005 John Halderman
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