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You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

You are a Badass is the self-help book for people who desperately want to improve their lives but don't want to get busted doing it.

Life’s Biggest Con

What scares you? What stories do you make up to con yourself into holding back? What would you do if you didn't con yourself into being scared?

I've done something that scared the heck out of me. But it also turned out to be the best thing I've ever done!

Two years ago, I discovered that my Dad needed a kidney and as soon as I realized I might be the answer he needed, the voices in my head began to resist and shout!

"NO WAY can I give up a kidney! Are you kidding me!? I need both kidneys! I can't do it!"

Fear struck me down in an instant. I had never given up a body part. For that matter, I had never even stayed in hospital.

Despite the fear, I mentally considered the idea ... and I the more I thought about it, the more terrified I became. What if I had kidney failure in the future? Would I be able to have kids? What if something went wrong and I had impaired health for the rest of my life? Don't we need both kidneys?

All the while, Dad never asked me or any other member of our family for a kidney. I decided to get tested on my own. I was the only one in my family that got tested and I felt isolated. I felt like Dad's health was my responsibility alone. The fear held an even firmer grip on my mind.


 

And to accelerate the mental spin I was already in, there were plenty of well-meaning people ready to offer up their unsolicited opinion to help build and fortify my "wall of fear."

These were just a few of the fantastic and ridiculous comments I heard:

· "I know someone who donated a kidney and they got really fat as a result. You might get really fat". (A young woman's worst fear!)

· "Will you be able to have children?"

· "You'll have to give up alcohol."

· "You'll have to change your diet, become a vegetarian."

· "What happens if your kidney fails and you don't have a spare?"

· "What if you're in a car accident and your remaining kidney gets hurt?"

· "What about the yin and yang and flow through your body that they refer to in Chinese medicine? Losing a kidney will interrupt that and ruin your health!"

In the midst of all that, I decided to move forward. Dad told me I could pull out at anytime and he wouldn't think the worst of me. But I had made up my mind and I began to rise above the fear, rise above my own con job.

 

By the time the day of the operation arrived, I was actually calm.

When I awoke from the surgery, the doctors had me on a drip line and added 7kg of fluid to my body - even my chicken legs were fat! And they had pumped my body cavity full of gas. My surgeons joked that I looked like I should be in the maternity ward!

But, guess what? That was the worst of it. Despite my fears and the warnings of well-meaning friends, there were no complications and my recovery was quick. I was only in the hospital for 4 days. It only took a week for the fluid to leave my body and a few short months for the swelling to deflate completely. I was dancing - albeit somewhat carefully - after just 2 weeks, and returned to work after 4 weeks.

Now, giving up a kidney should be pretty scary for anyone, right? It's an important body part and you can't get it back once it's gone. It certainly was a scary prospect for me! But I did it, and the truth is that it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't a big deal at all! It was only my thinking that made it so. It's sort of like bungy jumping. The scariest part is the fear you con yourself into believing before you jump. After you jump, it's exhilarating.

I realized that I was incredibly fortunate to have been given an opportunity to donate my kidney. With that realization, though, came an insightful question that stopped me in my tracks:

If I could give up a kidney ... if it really wasn't such a big deal ... then what else could I have done if I hadn't let fear get in the way?

I could ... I CAN ... do so much more! I got it! I wasn't living up to my potential and I was 100% responsible. The only thing holding me back was me! I have since decided that I am not going to waste another minute. I LIVE, not exist. I've got massive goals and thoroughly ENJOY every moment of my life.

It's been over two years now and I'm delighted to report that Dad hasn't rejected the kidney. My gift has given Dad a far superior quality of life, has had zero adverse effects on my health, and the whole experience has undoubtedly brought Dad & I closer. I have realized that the joy is truly in the giving.

And I understand that fear is simply a con game we play on ourselves. It is all in our mind.

By acting in the face of fear and giving up my kidney, I received the greatest gift imaginable. I feel fantastic! My life is utterly different now, I LOVE it! From this experience, I've acquired a massive desire to wake people up, to let them know that they should never let fear hold them back, to inspire them to live NOW ...and to make the world a better place.

I'm up for big stuff ... and I'm going for it.
What are you up for? You'll only discover what you're capable of doing if you are willing to do it afraid!
Adrienne Rich
Auckland, New Zealand, Current Member - Bob Proctor Coaching Program

For more information on Bob Proctor Coaching programs or to comment on today's story, please email: bob@bobproctorcoaching.com 

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Catching Courage : How to Stop Hesitating, Take Control Over Your Anxieties, and Believe in Yourself – Use Obstacles to Your Benefit

Do you stay silent because you fear rejection and judgment ? Are feelings of inadequacy and self-sabotage preventing you from living the life you want? Catching Courage gives you more than fearlessness – it gives you unshakable confidence in your own powers and chases away the feeling that you’re not able to start or finish things.

 

 

Say goodbye to the days when you let possibilities slip through your fingers.

Be GUTSY in every situation life throws in your way.

Catching Courage is a special book that will help you understand that courage is the necessary quality to build confidence.

Self-doubt is a natural feeling but you can get over it.

Impossible only exists if you believe it.

Time to learn how to overcome the feeling of inferiority and achieve success. It takes you step by step through the process of how courage is built with the help of studies, personal stories and actionable exercises at the end of each chapter. Say goodbye to fear of rejection and inferiority complex once and for all.

Catching Courage is ground zero to any kind of life improvement.

How do I know this? I am currently the author of multiple best-selling books in the United States being a non-English speaker! I could do it, and you also can whatever you wish for! The only barrier between you and success can be this one quality: courage to take chances today what others plan on doing tomorrow.

What tools will Catching Courage give you to become more courageous:

- A special S.W.O.T. analysis sample to rightfully judge your challenges.

- 2-3 tailor-made exercises to each chapter for maximal improvement.

- 4 actionable steps to detect and overcome different type of fears.

- My unique T.I.M.E. method to make prioritizing super easy.

How will you live courageously?

- By learning how to unleash your curiosity.

- Having the guts to be the decision maker of your life.

- By learning to do what’s necessary first.

- Become mentally prepared to any challenge.

After all, courage is the key of a life full of adventures worth living for.

Courage opens you the door to shape your world based on your desires. It helps you to seize the goals that you’ve always longed for, and thought that were impossible to do.

Escape your fears and stop self-sabotaging, know that living a full life doesn’t mean the absence of fear, but the will to take the risk and do it anyway.

Turn your insecurities into action and see how your life is going to change into a daring adventure.

About the Author:

Zoe McKey is a Communication and Personal Development Coach and bestselling author. Visit www.zoemckey.com and get access to Zoe's Unbreakable Confidence Checklist for FREE.
She has lived on her own from a young age, which has shaped her sense of tenacity, perseverance, and self-worth. She brings over ten years of practical knowledge in her coaching and books.
Zoe speaks five languages fluently and has clients from all around the world. She has a BA and graduate degree in international studies. When she's not on her mission to change the world, she loves to paint, do CrossFit, and dance Zumba.

To buy the book ...    Book Depository  or Amazon

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The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage

 

National Bestseller!

How to enrich your life and destroy doubt in 5 seconds.  

Throughout your life, you've had parents, coaches, teachers, friends and mentors who have pushed you to be better than your excuses and bigger than your fears.  What if the secret to having the confidence and courage to enrich your life and work is simply knowing how to push yourself?

Using the science of habits, riveting stories and surprising facts from some of the most famous moments in history, art and business, Mel Robbins will explain the power of a “push moment.”  Then, she’ll give you one simple tool you can use to become your greatest self.

It takes just five seconds to use this tool, and every time you do you’ll be in great company. More than 8 million people have watched Mel’s TEDx Talk, and executives inside of the world’s largest brands are using the tool to increase productivity, collaboration, and engagement.

In The 5 Second Rule, you’ll discover it takes just five seconds to:

Become confident

Break the habit of procrastination and self-doubt

Beat fear and uncertainty

Stop worrying and feel happier

Share your ideas with courage

The 5 Second Rule is a simple, one-size-fits-all solution for the one problem we all face—we hold ourselves back.

The secret isn’t knowing what to do—it’s knowing how to make yourself do it. 

Book Trailer

Buy the book

RRP: AU$ 33.62

10 % Discount AU$30.26 For Pivotal Gold Members. Membership is Free. Click here to register

40% Discount AU$20.17 For Pivotal Gold Plus Members. Join here

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If I had a dollar

If I had a dollar for every time someone said to me “I can’t believe you could do that”, I’d be standing on a pile of money.

 

I can’t believe you can stand in front of an audience and not get nervous, I can’t believe you can feel that comfortable about cold calling business, I can’t believe you can ride that zip line, I can’t believe can walk into that room full of executives and not be intimidated, I can’t believe you can return to study at your age, I can’t believe you can travel overseas by yourself…and on it goes. What I’ve found most interesting about these comments is that to me, none of these actions are really a big deal.       Nor are they for some others either I know, but after hearing comments like this enough times, I have realised that acting without fear isn’t easy for a lot of people.

 

After consideration, I realised that the confidence I have to take on activities that many people find frightening, has been developed and nurtured.  And anyone can do the same. I realised rather than talking myself out of doing something and finding reasons, why not, why I can’t, I now automatically start to think how can I…what do I need to do to make that work?  Now, fortunately most things come easy, but it has taken work to get to a place where I feel confident in just about any situation.

 

When Franklin D Roosevelt famously quipped “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”, he was on the money.

 

What enables a person act without fear in a situation?  I believe there are three behaviours that must become intrinsic to shift a mindset from fearful to confident.

 

Number One:    Take a Risk

 

Next time you have an opportunity to do something that scares you, just say yes instead of over thinking reasons why you can’t.  Evoke Neales Donald Walsh quote “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” to inspire you to take risks to delight in all life offers.

 

Number Two:    Learn a Skill

 

Continually learning new skills means you open yourself to new ideas.  Every time you do something you haven’t done before, you allow yourself to expand your experience and shift your perspective.  Consider what new activity/skill you have always wanted to accomplish and begin.

 

Three:  Become Proficient

 

It makes sense doesn’t it?   If you can do something well, you will be confident doing it.  If you want to have the confidence to speak from stage then you need to not only obtain the skills, you also have to practice, practice and practice some more.  To speak well and with confidence on a subject you need to be well rehearsed.  Every time you stand in front of an audience you will be less nervous until you will eventually feel confident to enough you can address any problem that might arise.  The same goes for any fear you want to overcome.

When you live without fear, your stress levels are reduced all the “good hormones” work effectively in your body and can cope with real problems more effectively.

Principal Trainer and Director of Shifting Visions, Janeen Vosper, typically works with Sales Teams, Small Business Owners and Entrepreneurs to overcome their fear of selling and cure cold calling reluctance. She assists people to identify and crush hidden fears that block their potential as presenters to learn how to make speeches with ease and confidence…and also offers easy techniques to conquer Fear of Failure that affects many components of life.  You can view Janeen's profile here  =>  http://bit.ly/16p0UH9

Keep On Dancing

 


If you are feeling like you have gotten a little "off track" with your intentions this year, not to worry. Be gentle with yourself. Take a few minutes to read today's post, and just remember to "Keep On Dancing".

What I have noticed lately, is that things don't always seem to happen for the reasons we think, and that can be perfect for us. I started several projects in the last few weeks, that did not work out the way I thought they would, or the way I wanted them to, thank God.


Because they did not work out, space was created for something much better to come into my life. And so, I was able to better understand, that it is not always about the end result of a choice or a project, but how taking that step to go for it in the first place, makes you feel.

What is important, is that you take some inspired action, because your vibration while you are doing something that excites you, and you are passionate about, is what will bring you the essence of what you wanted in the first place. It just may not come from where you thought it would.

What is so freeing about all of this, is that it removes a lot of the fear around moving forward, fear that you may fail, be disappointed again, or even embarrassed. It gives you the courage to just step up to the plate and go for it, no matter what the outcome.

If you are feeling stuck, and afraid to take the next step, or any step for that matter, you will never achieve the life of your dreams. Life is not always about being comfortable. It is about moving forward, out of your comfort zone.

And the interesting thing about it is, that the more steps you take, the stronger and more confident you feel inside, where it really matters, and pretty soon you begin to realize that there truly is nothing that you cannot do, that anything is possible, just as long as you keep on dancing.

Veronica Hay

Veronica Hay is the author of In a Dream, You Can Do Anything.An extraordinary collection of writings that will uplift you, motivate you, inspire you, and gently guide you along the inner path of your life.Go to: http://www.insightsandinspirations.com or feel free to email your comments about today's message to: veronicahay@telus.net 

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You can be a success despite the nerves

I don't particularly like X_Factor videos and the emotional hype that goes with them, but watch this one, and you have to be inspired, especially if you suffer from performance nerves. If this man can do what he did, so successfully, so can you!!

Get rid of any phobia with the Rewind Technique

 

Can you imagine getting rid of absolutely ANY fear or phobia...

... In just 10 minutes?

Scientists have just given the official nod to a brand new NLP-based system that enables you to literally "erase" old fears and phobias - in a matter of minutes.

Fear of public speaking, fear of spiders, fear of death, fear of failure - whatever it is - it can be permanently deleted.

Read about it here

Delete any phobia

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On Confidence (or – Don’t Be Scurred!)

 

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 32nd president of the United States.

If you're an American, you've heard this quote before. Probably most people in English-speaking countries have heard it as well. Have you ever really thought about it, though? I mean really took the time to analyze the message, dig some deeper meaning, find the truth in it? Probably not. This quote is absolutely 100% fact. There is nothing to fear.

Fear is a paralyzer to action. Fear is the ultimate demotivator. Fear really is the only thing to be afraid of, because fear is the only thing that keeps us from doing the things we want to do.

You want to go hiking in the mountains, but you're afraid of heights. You want to walk through the woods, but you're afraid of snakes, or spiders. You want to travel the world, but you're afraid to fly. You want to live out your dreams, but you're afraid of going broke (even though you already are). You want to hit on that girl or guy, but you're afraid of rejection. Don't be.

The feeling of achieving the pinnacle of that mountaintop far outweighs the fear you feel when you look down over the world. Nature is more scared of you than you are of it. Planes are statistically safer than cars. Money isn't real. Most people aren't scary. But you're letting your fears outweigh your confidence. Hopefully, once you've finished reading this article, that won't happen any more.

Have you ever watched an illusionist (magician who uses tricks of the eye to perform "magic") perform? Most of us are very inspired, and shocked, by the acts they perform, because what we believe we see them doing is perceived by us to be dangerous and scary. So then why don't the magicians ever appear to be scared? Because they've no reason to be. The things they do could be done by any human being on earth, "magician" or not. Their acts look scary, but in fact have very little danger involved at all. And most things tend to follow this pattern.

The way you perceive the world has more impact on how you live your life than any actual circumstances or situations you find yourself in. If you're getting mugged, with a gun stuck in your face and a hand out waiting for your wallet, what do you do? If you're fearful, you fumble around for your wallet, produce it, and as soon as the mugger turns around, you run your ass off in the other direction.

If the guy really wanted to shoot you, though, wouldn't he have just pulled the trigger and robbed your corpse? Doesn't that seem a little easier? Do you think he WANTS you to put up a fight? No. He wants your money; he just doesn't know how to ask properly. So he threatens you for it. And if you're intimidated, he gets what he wants and learns nothing. But if you ask him, "hey, how come you didn't just shoot me and rob my dead body? What do you need the money for?" you'll probably get an answer. People are nicer than you give them credit for. Even most muggers.

The problem with them is they just never learned what it means to connect with people. They know that killing is wrong, which is why they didn't just shoot you right off the bat, but they don't know how to approach or interact with people without being threatening.

So what do you do with these misguided souls? You talk to them. Find out why they need your money. Are they hungry? Would they like to go get a bite to eat instead of robbing you? Are they homeless? Would they like some help finding a warm bed, instead? Would they like to go to the bar and get a drink? Most people who are criminals aren't crazy (though of course there are some who are); they're just scared. They're scared of starving, scared of freezing to death, scared of alcohol withdrawal. The money in your pocket isn't going to help them, and they know that, but I really think that in most cases, they're not looking for your money. They're looking for someone who will give them a chance, let them prove themselves, help them connect with people and guide them to being a person worth befriending. People have an innate need to be liked and loved. It's been proven time and time again that almost no one WANTS to be hated. "Love and Belonging" is the third of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, right after eating and breathing, and then security. It is a NECESSARY aspect of life for a human being to achieve their true potential, and if you look at that chart, self-confidence comes AFTER love and belonging.

So show these people some love. Take them out to the bar; find out their story. Befriend them. Introduce them to your friends and family; take them under your wing. If you put some faith in them and show your own confidence when you're around them, it will rub off. But if you fear them, they'll fear you, and the rest of humanity as well. Nature is funny that way.

Are you scared of dogs? If so, then you've probably noticed that dogs act funny around you. They're either shy, with their tail between their legs, hiding behind their masters, or they're mean and vicious toward you; it depends on how the owner treats them. How did I know that? Well, I've owned a lot of dogs, and believe it or not, they're a lot more like people than you'd think. Have you ever heard that animals can smell fear? Well, it's partially true, as fear in people can release certain hormones, and most dogs' noses are good enough to smell it. But the real reason it seems that animals "smell" fear is that it's a natural reaction for an animal, or a person, to reciprocate whatever feeling another being is putting off.

If you show fear, people will panic with you. If you show anger, people get angry. If you're depressed, you depress whomever you're hanging out with. If you show kindness and compassion, people show it back. If you show confidence, you can inspire people to be confident.

Obviously, there are those times when people are inconsolable, can't be reasoned with; their emotions have a deathgrip on their mind and they can't be set free. But these times usually last no more than a few hours, maybe a few days at most. Most of the time, your feelings and your personality, depending on its traits, will rub off on the people you socialize with, as theirs will rub off on you. But one trait that never rubs off is lack of confidence.

A lack of confidence is like being a ghost. You can occasionally show people that you exist by flicking a light, or making a barely-audible noise, but for the most part you go unseen and unnoticed. And your problem is NOT that other people think you're unattractive, or think you're boring, or think you're worthless; it's that YOU think those things. Other people are just naturally reciprocating YOUR feelings. Which makes you feel more insecure, which makes them find you more unattractive, which makes you feel more insecure, which makes you more unattractive, and so on and so forth.

I had a rather large girl (not my type, but pretty enough, all the same) hit on me at the bar last night. She asked me to come sit and talk with her, and I agreed; I'll talk to anyone about anything. But once I got over there, she lost all confidence. She stared at her cell phone for 15, 20 minutes at a time, not saying a word. When I would bring up something to talk about, she'd listen, and respond appropriately, but she never brought up any conversation topics of her own. So I talked about my interests; the Fed, how I want to start a revolution, about my ex-fiancee, about judgement, and greed, and zombies. Then I asked what she was passionate about.

She said horses. I asked if she owned one, and she said no, because she didn't have enough land for it. I asked if she had ever worked on a horse farm, and again she said no. And when I asked why, she told me "because who would want ME to work on their horses?" Wow. We live in an area where there are TONS of farms, most with horses, but NOBODY would want to hire this girl? No way. This girl's problem was not that she wouldn't bust her butt to take care of someone's horses, but that she was too afraid to go ask someone if she could. She's so afraid of rejection that she doesn't even want to TRY to follow what she's passionate about. People do this far too often, and it makes me very sad.

Do you love your job? Does it make you happy to walk into the doors of your office every day? A few people are answering yes; but for most of you, the answer is a big, resounding HELL NO. Why? Shouldn't you love what you do for a living? How can you be really good at something you don't like doing? You can force yourself to complete your daily tasks, of course, but then you waste so much energy doing what you DON'T want to do that when you get home you're too tired to focus any energy toward your real interests. Hence, part of the reason the divorce rate is so high now. This is also part of the reason more and more kids are little assholes these days; with a big mouth full of cuss-words, and a serious sense of self-importance.

People are too drained from forcing themselves to slave away for money at a job they don't like to actually do any parenting, or love-making. So why keep doing it? For God's sake, go do something you like so when you get home you can tell your wife and kids all about your day without sounding like a damn half-asleep robot. Do what you're PASSIONATE about. Fear, like money and the federal government, only has as much power over you as you allow it to. If you don't live your life with confidence, then you'll never truly live your life. If you allow the fears of being broke, or being injured, or being rejected to control you, then they will. And if you don't, they won't.

When you get scared of doing something, always ask yourself "what's the worst that could happen?" You can come up with all kinds of wild-ass theories and hypotheticals, but 99% of the time, none of these things will happen. And 99% of the time, you're overanalyzing, letting your fear be your security blanket, so you don't have to deal with any potential consequences. But you won't fall off the mountaintop; you won't get a deadly spider bite; your plane won't crash; you won't starve or freeze from being broke; and you won't get utterly shut-down by that cute girl/guy at the bar. Because people are better than that. YOU are better than that, smarter than that.

If you really analyze your actions, you will see that fear is always what keeps you from acting. I can't do this because I'm afraid of _______. But there's nothing to fear. "The worst that could happen" almost never comes to pass. And if you're passionate about something, you'll encounter hardships and strife, but when all is said and done, you'll still be doing something you love, and you'll be driven to figure out how to do it again without the hardships. That's the beauty of the human mind.

We can always fix any problems we have, but not if we're too scared to find or face the problems in the first place. Be fearless. Do what you want to do instead of what you're told you should be doing. You can always find 10,000 reasons that something can't work, but it only takes one solution. Be fearless.

Author: Jeremy Blackbird http://forthegreatergoodblog.com

The Guarded secret

 

Leo had a secret. He was shy around girls. Like everyone sat around the circle at the NLP meet-up group, he had a limiting behaviorial trait that he wanted to change-- and FAST.

He'd tried everything. Self-hypnosis, positive thinking, dating guides. Nothing gave him the jolt he needed to enforce permanent self-confidence and actually talk to women.

But Matt wasn't like any normal NLP teacher, and this wasn't going to be like any interaction he'd ever had before.

He knew something that you won't find in any NLP book, manual, or self-help product ANYWHERE.

After applying this secret with Leo, the crowd watched in astonishment how he suddenly became the most confident person in the entire room....
in TEN MINUTES FLAT.

It was a complete personality upgrade.

He was fun-loving, out-spoken, uber-sure of himself. He even chatted up the girl right next to him in front of everyone!

And the best part is, you can use this same secret to re-engineer ANY new behavioral trait... even without Matt in the room.

Governments used it to teach their agents how to learn faster, and pick-up foreign languages fluently from scratch in under a week (yes, one WEEK).

Others use it to conquer fears, ramp up their IQ, cure life-long phobias and enjoy peak mental performance.

And you can be now be one of the very few people to learn Matt's secret RIGHT HERE.... and effortlessly 'upgrade' your mental abilities in minutes at:

http://bit.ly/Oc43qe

Your insider,
Bronwyn Ritchie