Tag Archive for: leadership
Most people have had a phone call or even been in someone's office to discuss an important topic and have left the conversation feeling like they were not heard at all. What was it about that experience that didn't work? The person you were talking to was a bad listener. We've all been there - distracted, busy, uninterested... there are a million reasons that we make up for not listening to another person. It's time to ditch the excuses and become a better listener.
Why do I need to be a better listener?
1) Opportunity to hear new ideas that may spark innovation and new ways of thinking
2) Respect for the individual in front of you whether it's on the phone or in person
3) Great leaders listen to others because they know that a basic human need is to be truly heard
Ready for the good news? Effective listening does not mean long drawn out conversations! It's not about the length of the discussion (time); it's the quality of the interaction that is most important. Regardless if the conversations you participate in are scheduled or impromptu, you can be a better listener by actively applying the following seven steps.
1) Stop what you're doing - When someone asks for your time and you agree to give it to them, stop whatever tasks you were in the middle of doing and get ready to listen.
2) Resist the urge to multitask - IMs popping up on your screen? Emails flowing in like a waterfall? If you're on the phone, turn your back on your computer and turn your Smartphone upside down and ignore it. If you're in person, you can still turn away from your computer or better yet, if possible, close your laptop.
3) Don't interrupt over and over and over (WAIT) - Remember to WAIT when speaking with others (Why Am I Talking). If they can't get a word in edgewise because you're sharing your knowledge and experience, asking a ton of questions like a firing squad, or giving direction, the person you are speaking to will not feel heard because they could hardly get their thoughts out.
4) Get out of your own head (stop the internal dialog) - When you catch yourself going over your next point in your head, or going over your grocery list or anything else for that matter - STOP. Listening is about hearing the other person and you can only do that if you're really focusing on what they have to say.
5) Ask questions - Seek to understand! Confused on a point? Ask questions for greater clarity. Unsure of the objective? Ask what they want to see happen. Your questions will not only keep you actively engaged in the conversation but will also help the speaker clarify and get value from your conversation as well.
6) Playback - Summarize the feeling and content of the conversation. It will serve to ensure you're on the same page and to give you an opportunity to keep the discussion moving forward. Try phrases like: "What I hear you saying is..." "It sounds like..." "Is this a fair summary of what's you're saying?" "I can really hear your passion around this topic"
7) Confirm any action points - If there are action items for either one of you, make sure that they are explicitly restated at the end. Others will appreciate that you know where things are heading and you're on board.
The path to becoming a star listener will take some time but those that interact with you will reap the benefits and in the long run, so will you.
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Alli Polin is the founder and president of Break the Frame, LLC. She works with leaders to create stronger and more intentional cultures and truly great places to work through change management and organization and leadership development. Alli is driven by the knowledge that leadership confidence, competence, creativity, innovation, and inspiration can transform any individual or organization and successfully propel them into the future. For more information please visit http://www.breaktheframe.com or contact Alli at alli@breaktheframe.com.
Living by comparison is fatal vision, for always there will be those who appear better off and worse off than ourselves at any given moment in time. In truth, there is no such distinction as superior and subordinate. We all have unique talents that will blossom and flourish when nurtured.
In past decades, there was a more "look out for number one" and "don't bring in people who might want your job" style of leadership. You generally would hire those people who would do as they were told and who wouldn't challenge your ideas or authority. This type of thinking led to bulging bureaucracies and mediocre middle management that accomplished little. This mind-set also created a scarcity mentality that there wasn't enough to go around: so don't share ideas, don't brainstorm with others who might steal your concepts, and above all, don't help your co-workers or employees succeed. We have seen that this approach clearly will not work in the global marketplace of the knowledge age.
Today the challenge is to establish networks, strategic alliances, synergistic relationships, and ad hoc teams to solve problems and help everyone accomplish their goals. You now look for those people who are not satisfied with the status quo, who are striving for excellence and have talents and abilities that you don't.
This requires that you "check your ego at the door" and that you don't get intimidated by others who may have different talents or strengths than you do. This is what synergy is all about. As we value the differences and look at truly working together, one plus one really can equal three or even more.
This week, focus on "working with others" rather than "competing against others."
-- Denis Waitley
This article was reproduced with permission from the Denis Waitley Weekly Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, go to www.deniswaitley.com or send an email with Join in the subject tosubscribe@deniswaitley.com Copyright 2005 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.
I’m often asked if there is a simple test that can be used to quickly determine an executive’s leadership ability? The short answer is yes…There are in fact a great number of tests that can quickly assess leadership ability. Something as simple as a 360 Review, or as complex as a deep psychological profile (both with weighted emphasis on leadership aptitude) can point out an individual’s leadership capabilities.
While much has been written about what leaders are, today’s post will highlight eight areas that will help you quickly pinpoint what leaders are not. The simple truth is that many people can feign adequate leadership ability in the short run, but the 8 traits outlined below will seperate the posers from the players 11 times out of 1o…
First of all, it is important to realize that just because someone is in a leadership position doesn’t necessarily mean they should be. Put another way, not all leaders are created equal. Frequent readers of this blog can find a veritable plethora of tips on becoming a better and more effective leader. However in the text that follows I’ll address how to spot ineffective leaders by assessing six critical areas of leadership DNA. While there are certainly more than eight areas that can be examined when discussing leadership ability and aptitude, there is no possible way for a person in a leadership role to experience sustainable success as a senior executive if they have issues in the following areas: => http://bit.ly/bOzYl7
So, I'm trying to lose some weight. And I notice that the days that I declare to myself, "No sugar today," I end up eating sugar earlier than ever. I actually forget that I have even made myself this promise...usually until just a moment after the sugar is melting from my tongue.
Can you relate? Maybe not in this area, but we all have places where we do not keep promises to ourselves. Where do you do this?
Not following through on commitments is a form of resistance. You can probably see clearly how this resistance might sabotage my efforts toward my goal.
My resistance is brilliant. It continually takes new and different forms and is quite good at disguising itself and finding new ways to outsmart me. Your resistance is brilliant, too.
Resistance will keep us from achieving what we want and need. Worse than that, resistance has the power to sending us and our businesses careening in exactly the opposite direction.
Whether you are a leader in an organization or in your own life, anytime you find yourself in a change situation, you will find resistance. If you don't, you are not looking hard enough. It is the way of things. You will resist. Your staff will resist. Your boss will resist. Your clients will resist. Potential employers will resist. Your family will resist. The higher the stakes, the more resistance you will find.
If we are not aware that resistance is at work, resistance wins. But only 100% of the time.
Your only hope of overcoming resistance is to expect it. But even that isn't enough. You also have to value it and embrace it. You have to work with your resistance, not against it.
You have to get intimate with resistance. And that starts with recognizing it. Here's what you want to look for:
Obvious resistance is easy to spot:
Refusal
Arguing
Disruptive behavior The most powerful forms of resistance are usually much more subtle:
Not being available
Not getting started
Getting distracted and not completing
Offering misleading information
Bringing up other issues
Becoming very busy with something else
Getting sick
Anger
Irritation
Frustration
Confusion
Criticism
Silence
Feigning acceptance, without asking necessary questions or working out the details
Finding reasons to be removed from the task
Surfing the web
Compulsively checking your BlackBerry or iPhone
Oh yeah, and forgetting.
Which of these do you do? Which do you see the people you work with doing? Which do you see in your clients? Start noticing the signs of resistance in you and the people around you.
Remember resistance is very creative.
Next time, we'll talk about a few ways to work with your resistance.
Sharon Rich works with organizations and people approaching major change. Just look at the spectacular corporate failures of the past decade to see that talent and intelligence aren't enough to create success. Sharon helps leaders to get the specific tools, skills and perspectives they need to create successful change and make it stick. For more information and to get a complimentary copy of her article "6 WAYS LEADERS SABOTAGE CHANGE and 5 Principles Change Leaders Need Now," go to http://www.leadershipincorporated.com/Free_Stuff.html
The greatest psychological challenge in setting and acting on priorities has to do with resource allocation. Whether in a group meeting or through conventional budgeting and capital approval processes, you have to demonstrate judgment and courage in making resource allocation decisions that reflect your business priorities and in following through to ensure that the things that should be happening in fact are. You have to do the analytic work to separate out the facts and assess the opportunities and risks, but you also need to call upon your inner strength and judgment as John did as CEO of his company.
Read more => http://bit.ly/bcf1wF
Wayne Goldsmith asks "What's all this leadership by empowerment stuff all about?"
Here's his introduction ...
Leadership groups, leadership teams, player leadership teams, team councils………
What’s going on here? Players making decisions? Players leading? Players taking ownership of their training and playing programs?
What’s all this empowerment stuff about?
What does engagement mean? Is someone getting married?
And what the hell is a leadership group?
I thought coaches coached, managers managed, fans cheered, doctors doctored and players played.
All of sudden every AFL, rugby, football, cricket, netball and rugby league team has embraced a player empowerment leadership model. Five years ago, most of us couldn’t even spell it.
Love it!!
Nevertheless, what follows is an excellent article on leadership. Yes it's written from a football/sport perspective, but could apply equally well in any group or organisation. Well worth the read!
Can a country be run in a similar way to running a business? Does corporate leadership equate to political leadership? It would be possible to find examples in support of both these questions and as much evidence to counter them but the contextual difference is important to note when considering leadership in general.
Someone Once Asked Me...How would you define your management and leadership style? Silly, grasshopper!
In seriousness, I responded that I have a blended style most influenced by Stephen Covey (initially with the Franklin Planner Class taken many moons ago), and over the last few years David Allen with his Getting Things Done methodology. I am absolutely goal and results oriented, but I would classify that as my management style.
Leadership is completely different. Leadership is about people, and helping others to be more successful than if they had never met you. My leadership style is dynamic, and almost chameleon like, meaning, I attempt to change to be the most effective for the given situation. People, and thus situations, are unique, and require a custom leadership style. However, with that said, you must have consistency, and even though the style may be different, or the path to get where you are going may be different, the end result should be the same. To obtain consistency, you rely upon your principles, and values to guide the way - they are your rock, your foundation. Staying true to your values and principles is how you build credibility and it is how you 'lead by example', or never get in a situation where you 'ask someone to do what you would not do yourself'.
I also fully believe that people inherently want to the right thing, and most importantly, they want to do a good job and be successful. Of course, there are some that fall out of that, but fortunately, they are easy to pick out, and the solution is to send them on their merry way. However, there are good people, who are not successful. Why? They either do not have the tools to be successful, or they are in the wrong career/position. Through careful conversations, one must determine the root cause. Possibly the right answer is to help them see that they are in the wrong position, and help them get in the right position, which may be inside your company, or even outside. Even if the person does need to leave the company, eventually, they will be better off both from a career and personal perspective. If the person is in the right position, then the issue could be situational, communication, or tools. The key is to identify the barriers of success, and then put a plan in place to resolve. More often than not, the root cause is communication - did the person know the goal, what is preventing the goal from being achieved. Identifying the problems is the key to success.
TWS (TW Smith) is one of the key authors on the website, Random Central, a site dedicated to random thoughts and ideas to make life more enjoyable. Please visit our web site for tips and tricks on life's challenges.
http://www.randomcentral.com
