Tag Archive for: relationships

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Life Minus Expectations Equals Unconditional Love

In love and life we find ourselves in many different types of relationships. We have friendships, family, co-workers, supervisors, neighbors, lovers, partners, etc. The one thing in common is that within each and everyone of these relationships we have likes and dislikes. But the one thing that determines this common aspect is "expectations". What would happen to our relationships if we eliminated expectations all together? If we had no expectations of the people we have relationships with we would never have pain or disappointment.

In our minds we have created an unconscious set of expectations that we place on all humans be it if we are in a relationship with them or not. If we eliminated those expectations and had compassion for people as they are we would never experience disappointment in them. If we have no expectations of others we have take the first step to understanding unconditional love. The key to bringing happiness, joy, and love into our lives and experiencing it at every moment of every day is as easy as eliminating the expectations you hold on other people.

In our daily lives we become easily frustrated and angry at the way people drive when we are out on the roads. Why do we do feel this way? We already know that not everyone is a good driver, we already know some drivers are very inconsiderate, and we already know that there will be at the very minimum at least one accident a day on our city streets. So why do we have the expectation that when we go out and drive that every person needs to be a perfect driver? Yes it is important to be safe because lives are at risk everyday but we already know it as a fact that everyone isn't a good driver, and not all drivers are considerate, and that there are accidents everyday. If we want to make our driving experience less stressful and remain happier people we need to stop expecting that every person on the road be a perfect driver because it just isn't reality.

Children are not perfect and do things to upset us all the time. When they get bad grades we still kiss them and tuck them in at night and make them feel safe. We understand that they are children and they are not perfect and we love them anyway. Our pets and animals do not speak the same language as use and often anger us and frustrate us because they did not listen to our rules or they ruined something that belonged to us. When we see them at the end of the day we still love them and feed them and understand that they are animals and meant no real harm.

So why can't we have this understanding with every other relationship in the world? Why can't we understand that the clerk at the grocery store is a human too and that she may be having a bad day because her boss was rude to her, and her boss may have had someone cut them off on the road right before they got to work? Why can't we understand that our husband, girlfriend, mother, or neighbor are human and make mistakes too? Why do we place such great expectations on people to be something they are not? People are not perfect and always kind. People get crabby when they are mistreated or disrespected. People have bad days they have the right to be upset. So why do we have such high expectations?

When we are single and out looking for a mate do you find yourself turning someone away because they do not fit one of your expectations. Maybe you think men should always open the door for you, or maybe you think if a woman is dressed a certain way she isn't good enough to be your partner? It is all because of expectations and all expectations do are make you unhappy!

Imagine life for one hour out of our day where you had no expectations of anyone! If you are able to envision this you should be able to feel great happiness all around you. If you can eliminate expectations you can begin to understand how to have compassion for other humans in life and you are able to experience the true miracle of unconditional love. Unconditional love does not exist in a life of expectations so take some time to recognize when expectations begin to control you and release them for a much more pleasant experience in life true unconditional love.

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Author: Lori Silva. Lori Marie is a writer, professional astrologer, and Usui Reiki healer. Lori Marie created A Wise Soul Once Said...as a place for readers to reflect upon life issues on their path through personal self transformation. Life is not always easy but the universe has a way of putting just the right things in our path to push us a head a little further.

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The Magic Relationship Ratio

Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. He uses rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in detail over many years for unprecedented insight into the inner workings of successful relationships. Learn how to build a positive dynamic with your spouse; Gain insight into the ways lasting marriages operate. This presentation is sure to spark some serious conversations about your relationship.

magic_relationship

=> http://bit.ly/YoJMNX

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The Secret of Great Relationships

Think about it...when you look back at the end of your life, what will really matter?

FIVE WORDS...The quality of your relationships

The 100/0 Principle, The Secret of Great Relationships, may be the most important book you'll ever read.

Brian Tracy said..."Eighty percent of life's satisfaction comes from meaningful relationships." Think about it...when you look back at the end of your life what will really matter? Five words...the quality of your relationships.

So here's the question: If your relationships are the most important part of your life, what are you doing to make them all they can be?

The 100/0 Principle...The Secret of Great Relationships, may be the most important video you'll ever see. The message is truly life-changing. Author Al Ritter is a management consultant who works with CEO's, other leaders and teams, who are committed to achieving breakthrough results. Also, as a professional speaker, Al has delivered over 500 speeches, workshops and seminars.

Simply put, The 100/0 Principle is a video that can benefit anyone. It can make your marriage better and greatly improve your relationships with family members, friends, co-workers...even your boss.

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Marriage, a History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage

Stephanie Coontz

Marriage has changed more in the last thirty years than in the previous five thousand, and few of the old "rules" for marriage still apply. In the courts, the op-ed pieces, and at the dinner table, battles rage over what marriage means, why people do it, and who can do it. Marriage, a History is the one book you need to understand not only the vicissitudes of modern marriage but also gay marriage, "living together" and divorce. Stephanie Coontz shatters dozens of myths about the past and future of married life and shows us why marriage, though more fragile today, can be more rewarding than ever before. => http://bit.ly/IzWlQW

Learn How to Control Anger in a Relationship

Can you recall what anger in a relationship feels like? Anger is a learned reaction to something negative in a situation, often I would like you to think about what referred to as a trigger. It’s best described as an unbridled horse.

For instance, if you do not take control, it is likely to control you.

I would like you to think about what provokes your anger. Make a list of your specific anger triggers. Now, look at your list and think of additional ways to help deal with stressful situations. This simple exercise will help you to recognize and then admit to your anger.

Read more => 

Mindset: the New Psychology of Success

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

by Carol Dweck

World-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, in decades of research on achievement and success, has discovered a truly groundbreaking idea-the power of our mindset.

Dweck explains why it's not just our abilities and talent that bring us success-but whether we approach them with a fixed or growth mindset. She makes clear why praising intelligence and ability doesn't foster self-esteem and lead to accomplishment, but may actually jeopardize success. With the right mindset, we can motivate our kids and help them to raise their grades, as well as reach our own goals-personal and professional. Dweck reveals what all great parents, teachers, CEOs, and athletes already know: how a simple idea about the brain can create a love of learning and a resilience that is the basis of great accomplishment in every area.

“A good book is one whose advice you believe. A great book is one whose advice you follow. I have found Carol Dweck’s work on mindsets invaluable in my own life, and even life-changing in my attitudes toward the challenges that, over the years, become more demanding rather than less. This is a book that can change your life, as its ideas have changed mine.”

From Publishers Weekly
Mindset is "an established set of attitudes held by someone," says the Oxford American Dictionary. It turns out, however, that a set of attitudes needn't be so set, according to Dweck, professor of psychology at Stanford. Dweck proposes that everyone has either a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. A fixed mindset is one in which you view your talents and abilities as... well, fixed. In other words, you are who you are, your intelligence and talents are fixed, and your fate is to go through life avoiding challenge and failure. A growth mindset, on the other hand, is one in which you see yourself as fluid, a work in progress. Your fate is one of growth and opportunity. Which mindset do you possess? Dweck provides a checklist to assess yourself and shows how a particular mindset can affect all areas of your life, from business to sports and love. The good news, says Dweck, is that mindsets are not set: at any time, you can learn to use a growth mindset to achieve success and happiness. This is a serious, practical book. Dweck's overall assertion that rigid thinking benefits no one, least of all yourself, and that a change of mind is always possible, is welcome

The book is available in the latest edition at Amazon

and yes that's an affiliate link. I will earn a few cents if you buy through it.  Thank you!