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Guest post by Janet Hilts

Is your fear of speaking really a fear of rejection? That's at the bottom of public speaking anxiety for a lot of people. The way to deal with this fear is to first take a closer look. What are you afraid might be rejected? Your words?

Rejection Of Your Words
Here are a few facts to consider:

Fact A: Your words only count for 7% of the actual message that you deliver. 7%! Can you believe it? The biggest part of your message is conveyed through your body language, facial expression and tone of voice. So that seriously takes the pressure off your words, doesn't it? When you're speaking - whether that's to a client or a big audience - your intention is to connect with them, isn't it? That's what communication is all about. And people connect at the heart. That's where those nonverbal elements come into play. They're watching your eyes. They're looking to see if you're paying attention to them. They want the feeling that you care about them and their problem.
Fact B: They want to feel positive emotions from hearing you - relief, hope, peace of mind. That experience does not come from your words. We've all heard words that sound empty, where the emotion doesn't match the actual words. Picture an eye-rolling teenager saying "I'm sorry" to a scolding teacher. The words aren't conveying their real meaning, are they? See how this reduces the pressure for you to get your words perfect? If your fear of rejection is about words, I hope your fear is shrinking.
On the positive side of things, think of the people you enjoy doing business with. They're just regular people, right? Just like you.

Now think of their speaking styles. Do they all have perfect grammar? Are they all fabulous speech writers and award-winning orators? Is their language completely clear of "uh" and "y'know"? Of course not!

And yours doesn't have to be either. For now, stop worrying about your words and focus on relaxing so your voice, face and body can react naturally. That's what helps you connect to people so you can really get your message across.

Bonus:
Once you get some practice speaking naturally, you'll find it much easier to work with improving your actual words if you want to. It's ironic that once you let go of the fear about the words, your options for words open up. Your creative ability and willingness to experiment with new phrases totally expands once your speaking anxiety is gone.

And to get a head start with feeling calm when you speak, I invite you to get your FREE copy of 5 Simple Secrets To Stress-Free Speaking when you go to http://SpeakUpAndShine.com.

Just fill in the sign-up box on the right-hand side of the page.

From Janet Hilts at Speak Up & Shine | Clearing Pathways

Lisa Braithwaite has shared her experiences with panic attacks and anxiety on her blog.  I admire her candour, and am thankful she shared her experiences, because this sort of story encourages those who feel trapped by the condition.  I went through a similar time - panic attcks and anxiety, and certainly would not recommend it.

But in this particular article Lisa has given us all a new way of looking at the situation, especially as it applies to public speaking, with some incredibly powerful tools to use.

If our mind is powerful enough to create fear from “nothing,” it’s also powerful enough to reframe our thoughts to propel us forward in a positive way. There have been many books written about the power of positive thinking – the most well-known of these is Norman Vincent Peale’s, first published over 50 years ago. Recent medical research shows, for example, that a positive expectation of a medication has real measurable physical effects (not just the psychological “placebo effect”) on our health.

How does this apply to you as a public speaker? You can control the amount of fear and anxiety you experience around public speaking. You have the power to turn negative and fearful thoughts into positive ones. How do you do it?

Here's how ...

And death came third

by Andy Lopata , Peter Roper

It has often been said that the two key skills for any business in the 21st Century are an ability to communicate a message - and a hungry market to communicate that message to. Now, for those outside of the corporate world, the best way to achieve these two objectives is through networking and speaking to groups.
Andy Lopata and Peter Roper have written a really handy book on how to achieve this. But the book is more than just a guide to the shy and anxious. In a very simple way Andy and Peter have explained how anyone can improve the way they are perceived in the market place through networking and public speaking.

Read more ...

or check it out at Amazon

PREPARATION and practice – that's the 2Ps approach advocated by trainer Faridah Khalid for overcoming stage fright in a public-speaking competition.
“There are no shortcuts to overcoming stage fright. You need to prepare and practise,” she told participants of the English-Speaking Union Malaysia (Esum)-The Star-HSBC Public Speaking Competition 2006 workshop at St Joseph's Secondary School in Kuching last Saturday.   Article continues

Since you only die once, but you could live to give many speeches, why not learn to make public speaking easier? Here's what I did to help me take center stage—joyously!—at my book launch event:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/self-promotion-introverts/200910/public-speaking-private-people

It’s embarrassing for the nervous speaker and it’s embarrassing for the audience - those awkward, horrible moments when something goes wrong, something embarrassing happens. They are an experience neither the audience nor the speaker wants to have to endure.
Here are four situations where you can smooth out those embarrassing moments … and a powerful strategy to use in the future.

1. The mental blank
That terrible moment when someone loses complete track of what they are saying - there is a blank, their face drops, and then becomes more and more frantic. This is painful not only for the speaker but for the audience. Develop a strategy now so that if, despite your best preparations, a blank happens, you have something to say. You could remark, “Oops I’ve lost it” and maybe you can add some appropriate humour (“Must have left the speech in front of the mirror!”) and then add something like “Now where was I?” Look at your notes if necessary – “We were talking about …” If it’s really bad, ask the audience. Whatever strategy you use along these lines, you keep the audience, and yourself, moving on, returning to target and none of you is embarrassed. So if you fear the blank moment, be prepared with a strategy that will allow you to deal smoothly with the situation.

2. The audience is bored
It’s a moment that nervous speakers dread – to realise that most of your audience is bored. They’re glassy eyed, maybe even falling asleep, chatting or texting on their mobile hones. Horrors! Worse still and more embarrassing is the presenter who becomes frantic, attempting to regain attention. Avoid the whole situation if you can by ensuring you have variety wired into your presentation, and have something up your sleeve that you can move into if necessary. Introduce a new visual. Involve the audience. Change your stance, body language or walking pattern. Stop. Stand still. Whatever you use, it will become a smooth, professional piece of your presentation instead of a situation that embarrasses you and your audience.

3. Dry mouth
Do you have a persistent dry mouth? Then take a glass of water with you. Before the speech, organise a place to put it and then choose a time where you can drink without interrupting the flow of your speech. Incorporate this into the planning of your presentation and your visualisation of your successful presentation. If it does interrupt, then find a way to explain it, incorporate it, or joke about it.

4. Those other embarrassing physical symptoms
The same applies to anything else you expect might embarrass you or detract from your speech. If you cannot overcome the physical symptoms in the lead up to the speech, then these are the ones you need to develop strategies for.

And use this same set of tactics for any other symptoms like blushing or shakes –if they detract from your speech – find a way to
explain it,
incorporate it
or joke about it.

Then you will have defused any embarrassment that you feel or your audience feels.
In all of these situations where you might make mistakes or have a mishap, there is one underlying powerful principle that works to avoid embarrassment:

“It doesn’t matter what happens. What matters is how you deal with what happens.”

It really does not matter!. The embarrassment for everyone lies not in the event itself, but in how you respond to it. So instead of being embarrassed, respond, instead, with professionalism and confidence. Be as prepared as you can for whatever may arise, and be prepared to explain, incorporate or joke if something does happen. Then you will have been able to deal with it, confidently and professionally - without embarrassment.

The added bonus? You are reducing your nervousness and increasing your confidence in the process.

Did you know that public speaking nerves are good? They keep you on edge, push you to produce your best work.
Let this eBook show you how to harness your nervousness and be successful.

Before you have to face giving another speech or presentation,
arm yourself with these simple proven strategies that will guide you to success and confidence.

E-Book - "How to overcome your fear of public speaking" https://www.consultpivotal.com/nerves_ebook.htm

Want to look confident? Want to hold your audience's attention? Want to make your point stick? You can do all the tricks and tropes out there, but these six phrases, in my experience, almost always grip the listener, make the speaker look strong, save her from a world of trouble, and invite real connection with your audience. Keep these in your back pocket for a stronger speech:
http://eloquentwoman.blogspot.com/2009/09/6-strongest-speaker-statements.html

Public speaking is an example of a social phobia, and is the most commonly reported social fear.

Unfortunately, fear of public speaking can adversely impact upon one’s career, personal life and academic achievements. For example, sufferers may avoid careers which would entail public speaking or decline promotions which would involve giving lectures or presentations. Social anxiety sufferers may also experience a great deal of distress if required to give a speech at their 21st birthday, wedding etc. University students may choose their courses or subjects so as to avoid having to give presentations.

A Few Tips on Public Speaking For Social Phobia sufferers

We have all heard that famous statistic, the one that claims the number one fear people have is public speaking, number two is death. Seinfeld had a joke about this stat, he said apparently if people are at a funeral they would rather be in the coffin than be giving the eulogy. If that statistic is accepted as fact, Seinfeld’s joke, while ridiculous sounding, would be technically correct. What is wrong with this scenario?

Would people really rather be dead than speak in public? Why? Well I am here to tell you that speaking in public is nothing to be afraid of; I do it all the time. Like most things in life, the more you speak in public, the less nervous you become when you do it. Unfortunately, most people choose to avoid giving speeches so vehemently that they will never do it enough to become comfortable with it.

So for all of those people out there who avoid speaking in public like, well, death, I am here to tell you how to breeze through any public speaking engagement and come out the other end as a hit public speaker, with as little stress as possible.  >>>