Good Stress, Bad Stress – Easy Tips for Staying Calm
What is Stress?
It may sound strange for you to read the title, Good Stress and Bad Stress, it was sort of weird for me to write the words. My initial thought was, "Stress, who needs any of it" but stress is thought of as a part of life that is unavoidable and even needed in some instances. Generally, the word "stress" refers to feelings of being overwhelmed or overloaded to the extent of disrupting our ability to cope with a certain pressure. The reasons for stress are numerous and may differ from person to person. In fact almost anything can trigger a stressful response. Some of the most common causes are listed below:
Common Causes of Stress
Grief/bereavement
Financial issues
Waiting for news (doctor reports, job interview, test results)
Loss of job
Driving in traffic
Moving/ relocating
What happens to our bodies when we are stressed?
When people become stressed their bodies react to the pressure in a number of ways. These physical reactions can have a large impact on our overall health when not checked and not regulated. It can also impact our relationships, careers, parenting abilities and a lot of our other social interactions.
Effects on the Body
Back pain
Erectile dysfunction
Headache
Nervous twitching
Loss of libido
Sleeping difficulties
Rapid Breathing
How does stress affect our thoughts, feelings and behavior?
Much can be said about the connection between thoughts, feelings and behavior. In fact, from a psychological standpoint the approach to managing stress is often dealt with by applying cognitive-behavioral techniques (CBT). These techniques emphasize the role of thinking in how we feel and what we do. The principle behind CBT is basically assuming that if you change your thinking about a particular thing then your behavior will change. Here is a little example to show how thoughts can lead to certain behaviors and in this case increased your stress level.
So lets suppose that making the deadline for a project that you are responsible for at work is causing your to become stressed.
Person A: Thinks that because he/she may not finish the project in time that he/she is somehow inferior or not up to an ideal standard.
Person B: Thinks that because he/she may not finish the project in time that he/she may need to get assistance from others or push the deadline back so that they have more time to work.
You can see from the two examples how thoughts about a particular situation can increase the level of stress. While it is realistic to assume that both situations are stressful, Person A is adding an addition helping of stress to their plate by simply thinking negatively about the situation.
Effect of Stress on Thoughts and Feelings
Anger
Burnout
Depression
Forgetfulness
Fatigue
Irritability
Effects of Stress on Behavior
Frequent crying
Increase cigarette smoking
Social withdrawal
Drug use
Eating too little or too much
Alcohol or drug abuse
Self-help for Stress
The term stress management is not one that I necessarily like to use because like I said in the opening paragraph, not a single thing about stress appeals to me. I prefer to think of living in a balanced manner. As such, creating a life where each of area of your life receives optimal attention in itself reduces stress. So what I am suggesting here is that you manage yourself as opposed to managing stress by structuring your day, getting organized and being present for each moment of your day (while attending to your schedule of course). Here are some ideas of what to include in your day to help get you going.
Exercise
Start scheduling regular exercise times in your day. Exercise benefits a person's mental and physical state.
Time
Make sure to set aside time in each day that is just for you to do with as you please. I would say at least an hour and to make it a big deal. Like for example saying, "From 7-8 pm each day is my time". During this time you can drink your favorite flavor of tea, call a friend, paint your nails, luxuriate in a warm bath or whatever creative thing you may think of.
Center Yourself
Do you meditate? Pray? Sit still doing nothing much at all? If not, then you might want to start. With our busy lives, adding this part to your day along with the mentioned above "Time" may be a bit much. We have bossy bosses, tiny toddlers, and hungry husbands who keep us busy each day but maybe we go to bed a bit earlier than usual, say 15 minutes, and before drifting off to sleep as we are lying in bed be center ourselves. One great way to center yourself is by listening to the rhythm of the breath. By really taking time to hear and become one with your breath, you find peace and what a great way to end the day.
Other Self-help Suggestions
Relaxation techniques
Get a massage
Read inspiration works
Read nonsensical works to free your mind of its own stringent regimen
Drink Herbal teas for calming and relaxation
Aromatherapy. Soothing scented candles, incense or essentials oils to tantalize the olfactory senses
Laugh, Play, Holler. Note we are not hollering because we are mad, we are hollering because we can!
*For persons who cannot escape the heaviness of stress due to obligations beyond their control or for other reasons, I would suggest that you a lot a certain time each day to stress out. Say maybe from 11am to 11:45 each day you allow yourself to fret over whatever situation is causing emotional upset.
Martha Dawson is an Intuitive Life Coach and Reiki practitioner at Wellness Consultants. To learn more about the coaching process and how coaches support clients in creating a calmer life please visit http://greaterlifenow.wordpress.com/life-coaching-3/.
