Talking to Yourself – A Sign of Sanity

Though we live in a noisy world, many people struggle with too much silence in their lives. They are either living alone or living with others who are engrossed in their own thing. (That's easy to do in the digital age).


 Sure you can always click on the TV, the radio, or your latest digital gizmo. But what happens if you're aching for a live person to talk to? To bounce ideas off of? To appreciate your accomplishments (big or small)? 


When you're feeling lonely, chances are you're neglecting to give enough attention to a very special person. One who is always there with you. Who's that? Why, you, of course. 

 


So, talk to yourself. Not just in your head. But out loud. 


Talk to yourself out loud? Doesn't that mean you're becoming daft? Losing it? Ready for the funny farm? 


Not at all. Talking with yourself not only relieves the loneliness, it may also make you smarter. 


Smarter? How?

It helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what's important and firm up any decisions you're contemplating. 


Just one proviso. You become smarter only if you speak respectfully to yourself. I know one woman, a sane and lovely lady, who is not so lovely to herself. Her self-talk is a testament to everything she has done wrong. "You idiot!" is her hallmark headline, followed with a complete dressing down. "You should have done it this way; you should have been aware of that; you should have thought of it sooner." 


That kind of self-talk is worse than no talk at all. So if your style is like her style, cut it out ...right now. Begin talking to yourself like you are your own best friend. Which you are. Right? 


Here are four types of self-talk that will make you smarter and feel better about yourself: 


Complimentary Self-Talk: Why wait to get compliments from another? If you deserve them, give them to yourself. Besides most people aren't going to have the foggiest notion about the little actions you take that serve you well. Like the time you were tempted but decided to bypass the Carvel store because you honored your commitment to yourself to lose five pounds. 


Doesn't that deserve a shout-out compliment such as, "I'm proud of you." Or the time you finally accomplished a bunch of things that you've been meaning to do? Doesn't that deserve a shout-out "good job!" Kids hear that phrase incessantly while most adults never hear it. Let's fix that right now!


Motivational Self-Talk


You may not feel like doing boring or difficult tasks. Live with others and they'll give you a swift kick in the pants as a reminder to clean up your mess or tend to that tough task. But you can motivate yourself to get going with a much kinder voice. "Hey sweetie-pie, (that's you you're talking to). You've got time this morning to tidy up; how about it?" Or, "Hey, big guy, time to call your accountant before the IRS comes knockin' at your door." 


Outer Dialogue Self-Talk


Having trouble with making a decision? Should you stay or should you go? Speak up or stay silent? Buy this gift or that gift? Choices aren't easy. Indeed, because they're so difficult, we often don't really make a choice; we respond impulsively from habit or anxiety. It's much more effective, however, to create a dialogue with yourself so that you can hear what you think. 


"I want to stay because of xxxx but I want to go because of yyyy. I'm clearly ambivalent. Nevertheless, l need to figure out which decision to make. Time to have an interesting dialogue with myself and see which way the wind is blowing." Having such a dialogue can assist you in making a commendable compromise or a workable conciliation between your wants, your needs and others' expectations. 


Goal-Setting Self-Talk


Let's say you're trying to be better organized so the holidays are not so frenzied. Setting a goal and making a plan (i.e. what to do, when to do it, how to do it) can be a big help. Sure you can just make a list, but saying it out loud focuses your attention, reinforces the message, controls your runaway emotions and screens out distractions. 


Top athletes do this all the time by telling themselves to, "Keep your head down. Keep your eye on the ball. Breathe." It works well for them, why not for you? 


Whether you're living by yourself or living with others, you're always living with yourself. So, don't leave yourself out of the equation. Converse, chatter, communicate respectfully with yourself. It's not a sign of insanity. It's a sign of good health. 


Copyright © 2012: Linda Sapadin, Ph.D 
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist and success coach who specializes in helping people overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. If your life is one long disconnect between what you intend to do and what you actually get around to doing, check out my new book, How to Beat Procrastination in the Digital Age
SixStylesofProcrastination.com, you can take a personality quiz. View a chart that describes the thinking, speaking and acting modes of each procrastination style. Read inspirational quotes just for procrastinators. And if you're pleased with your accomplishments but recognize how much easier it would be with a tailwind at your back, explore my coaching services.

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Catching Courage : How to Stop Hesitating, Take Control Over Your Anxieties, and Believe in Yourself – Use Obstacles to Your Benefit

Do you stay silent because you fear rejection and judgment ? Are feelings of inadequacy and self-sabotage preventing you from living the life you want? Catching Courage gives you more than fearlessness – it gives you unshakable confidence in your own powers and chases away the feeling that you’re not able to start or finish things.

 

 

Say goodbye to the days when you let possibilities slip through your fingers.

Be GUTSY in every situation life throws in your way.

Catching Courage is a special book that will help you understand that courage is the necessary quality to build confidence.

Self-doubt is a natural feeling but you can get over it.

Impossible only exists if you believe it.

Time to learn how to overcome the feeling of inferiority and achieve success. It takes you step by step through the process of how courage is built with the help of studies, personal stories and actionable exercises at the end of each chapter. Say goodbye to fear of rejection and inferiority complex once and for all.

Catching Courage is ground zero to any kind of life improvement.

How do I know this? I am currently the author of multiple best-selling books in the United States being a non-English speaker! I could do it, and you also can whatever you wish for! The only barrier between you and success can be this one quality: courage to take chances today what others plan on doing tomorrow.

What tools will Catching Courage give you to become more courageous:

- A special S.W.O.T. analysis sample to rightfully judge your challenges.

- 2-3 tailor-made exercises to each chapter for maximal improvement.

- 4 actionable steps to detect and overcome different type of fears.

- My unique T.I.M.E. method to make prioritizing super easy.

How will you live courageously?

- By learning how to unleash your curiosity.

- Having the guts to be the decision maker of your life.

- By learning to do what’s necessary first.

- Become mentally prepared to any challenge.

After all, courage is the key of a life full of adventures worth living for.

Courage opens you the door to shape your world based on your desires. It helps you to seize the goals that you’ve always longed for, and thought that were impossible to do.

Escape your fears and stop self-sabotaging, know that living a full life doesn’t mean the absence of fear, but the will to take the risk and do it anyway.

Turn your insecurities into action and see how your life is going to change into a daring adventure.

About the Author:

Zoe McKey is a Communication and Personal Development Coach and bestselling author. Visit www.zoemckey.com and get access to Zoe's Unbreakable Confidence Checklist for FREE.
She has lived on her own from a young age, which has shaped her sense of tenacity, perseverance, and self-worth. She brings over ten years of practical knowledge in her coaching and books.
Zoe speaks five languages fluently and has clients from all around the world. She has a BA and graduate degree in international studies. When she's not on her mission to change the world, she loves to paint, do CrossFit, and dance Zumba.

Buy the Book - The Book Depository or Amazon

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The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage

 

National Bestseller!

How to enrich your life and destroy doubt in 5 seconds.  

Throughout your life, you've had parents, coaches, teachers, friends and mentors who have pushed you to be better than your excuses and bigger than your fears.  What if the secret to having the confidence and courage to enrich your life and work is simply knowing how to push yourself?

Using the science of habits, riveting stories and surprising facts from some of the most famous moments in history, art and business, Mel Robbins will explain the power of a “push moment.”  Then, she’ll give you one simple tool you can use to become your greatest self.

It takes just five seconds to use this tool, and every time you do you’ll be in great company. More than 8 million people have watched Mel’s TEDx Talk, and executives inside of the world’s largest brands are using the tool to increase productivity, collaboration, and engagement.

In The 5 Second Rule, you’ll discover it takes just five seconds to:

Become confident

Break the habit of procrastination and self-doubt

Beat fear and uncertainty

Stop worrying and feel happier

Share your ideas with courage

The 5 Second Rule is a simple, one-size-fits-all solution for the one problem we all face—we hold ourselves back.

The secret isn’t knowing what to do—it’s knowing how to make yourself do it. 

Buy the book from:  Amazon  or The Book Depository

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If I had a dollar

If I had a dollar for every time someone said to me “I can’t believe you could do that”, I’d be standing on a pile of money.

 

I can’t believe you can stand in front of an audience and not get nervous, I can’t believe you can feel that comfortable about cold calling business, I can’t believe you can ride that zip line, I can’t believe can walk into that room full of executives and not be intimidated, I can’t believe you can return to study at your age, I can’t believe you can travel overseas by yourself…and on it goes. What I’ve found most interesting about these comments is that to me, none of these actions are really a big deal.       Nor are they for some others either I know, but after hearing comments like this enough times, I have realised that acting without fear isn’t easy for a lot of people.

 

After consideration, I realised that the confidence I have to take on activities that many people find frightening, has been developed and nurtured.  And anyone can do the same. I realised rather than talking myself out of doing something and finding reasons, why not, why I can’t, I now automatically start to think how can I…what do I need to do to make that work?  Now, fortunately most things come easy, but it has taken work to get to a place where I feel confident in just about any situation.

 

When Franklin D Roosevelt famously quipped “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”, he was on the money.

 

What enables a person act without fear in a situation?  I believe there are three behaviours that must become intrinsic to shift a mindset from fearful to confident.

 

Number One:    Take a Risk

 

Next time you have an opportunity to do something that scares you, just say yes instead of over thinking reasons why you can’t.  Evoke Neales Donald Walsh quote “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” to inspire you to take risks to delight in all life offers.

 

Number Two:    Learn a Skill

 

Continually learning new skills means you open yourself to new ideas.  Every time you do something you haven’t done before, you allow yourself to expand your experience and shift your perspective.  Consider what new activity/skill you have always wanted to accomplish and begin.

 

Three:  Become Proficient

 

It makes sense doesn’t it?   If you can do something well, you will be confident doing it.  If you want to have the confidence to speak from stage then you need to not only obtain the skills, you also have to practice, practice and practice some more.  To speak well and with confidence on a subject you need to be well rehearsed.  Every time you stand in front of an audience you will be less nervous until you will eventually feel confident to enough you can address any problem that might arise.  The same goes for any fear you want to overcome.

When you live without fear, your stress levels are reduced all the “good hormones” work effectively in your body and can cope with real problems more effectively.

Principal Trainer and Director of Shifting Visions, Janeen Vosper, typically works with Sales Teams, Small Business Owners and Entrepreneurs to overcome their fear of selling and cure cold calling reluctance. She assists people to identify and crush hidden fears that block their potential as presenters to learn how to make speeches with ease and confidence…and also offers easy techniques to conquer Fear of Failure that affects many components of life.  You can view Janeen's profile here  =>  http://bit.ly/16p0UH9

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Video – Dare-Change

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Goals – the 10 Rules for Achieving Success

Presents you the numbers, and sequence, that open the locks of success in a simple way.

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Tim’s place – Service with a smile

Tim Harris, owner of Tim's Place, is the country's only restaurant owner with Down's Syndrome,. The joy he gets from serving people good food carries over into his diner's most famous export: hugs!

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The Apple of the Present – A Resolution

Usually the first thing everyone talks about when the New Year rolls around is their New Year’s resolutions. What didn’t happen during the previous year and resolving to make it happen during the coming year; promising to become happier, healthier, wealthier, or more productive; promising to take more time for your family or yourself — all noble resolutions to be sure, but somewhat less than certain that they will ever come to pass.

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Leave YOUR Legacy: The Power to Unleash Your Greatness

 

Learn to live a truly exceptional life with the help of author, speaker, and performance coach Ben Newman.

In "Leave YOUR Legacy," you will see firsthand how to drive impact by changing your perspective and connecting to your life's purpose.

Newman shows you how to be your best self with this touching story that clearly illuminates the steps needed to create major change in your life by following the ups and downs of the protagonist, Pierce.

Join Pierce on his journey to greatness--from the humble beginnings of enacting change and resisting old behaviors to the reframing of his thoughts and actions and eventually understanding his legacy.

Experience for yourself the ripple effect of leaving YOUR legacy. Pierce's story will inspire you to go do great things. And, as you strive for excellence, you will inspire excellence in others.

Are you ready to unleash your full potential?

It's time to uncover your drive, your passion, and your purpose--leave YOUR legacy.

Ben Newman is a bestselling author, international speaker, and highly regarded performance coach whose clients include Fortune 500 companies, business executives, high-performing salespeople, and professional athletes in the NFL, MLB, and PGA, as well as the NCAA. The Napoleon Hill Foundation & Nightingale-Conant selected Ben as a top thought leader and author in the world to help produce their latest audio book "Napoleon Hill's 17 Principles of Success."

Publisher:  Greenleaf Book Group
Published:  3 March 2015
ISBN10:  1626341672  ISBN13:   9781626341678

Buy the book (and postage is free) ...R.R.P. = AU $30.32

10 % Discount  $27.29  [Pivotal Gold Basic members]  

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Focusing on Your Strengths

The one and only, Gary Vaynerchuk, tells an amazing story which is a great example of the importance of focusing on what we are good at.