Tag Archive for: Communication


Leverage: How to Get it and How to Keep it in any negotiation

by Roger Volkema

Leverage — the real or imagined advantage one holds — is the most important tool in a negotiation. Anyone who wants to consistently win at the negotiating table needs to master the art of gaining and maintaining leverage. This book helps readers maximize their negotiation skills by showing them how to recognize and use these often hidden trump cards.

Read more ... or go straight to Amazon

In almost any kind of business, sometimes there is a need to motivate others. (NB: This is as distinct from "motivational programs" which are structured incentive schemes, usually aimed at sales staff to get them to sell more. This is a different area altogether and one which we can look at another time...

FOR ONCE IT'S NOT ABOUT SELLING
The cynics amongst us would probably say that all you need to do to motivate people, is to use sales techniques on them. There might be a bit of truth in that from the point of view that in order to motivate people, you've got to show them "what's in it for them." However that's probably where the resemblance ends.

I believe there is a difference between selling people an idea and motivating them to "buy into it." With motivation you need to focus more on generating and activating desire. That's not something you necessarily have to do with selling, because in that case you should be selling into a ready-prepared market opportunity. (But that's straying into marketing issues which we're not discussing now.)

Read the whole article

Ever watch a colleague take credit for your idea, been accused of being emotional, taken jokes too personally or been interrupted frequently in a meeting?

Most women will nod yes to such scenarios, say the authors of "Code Switching: How to Talk So Men Will Listen," a new book on communication, or the lack thereof, between men and women.

Men and women communicate differently, say authors Claire Damken Brown and Audrey Nelson, in ingrained styles learned from birth and deeply embedded in the workplace structure.

They propose "code switching," which they describe as using knowledge of more than one culture and language to communicate.

http://www.reuters.com/article/mediaNews/idUSN0749127520091008

The secret to being a good role model and mentor is in finding out what others want and helping them succeed. The secret to being a good and wise communicator is the patient listening for those desires in others, and also in learning from the experiences of others by questioning and listening thoroughly, so that we may learn from their successes and failures.

Frank Sinatra learned his superb breath control in singing from his first band leader, Tommy Dorsey. In large part, the person Helen Keller became was because of Anne Sullivan. Plato learned from Socrates. Jesse Owens credits his winning of the long jump in the 1936 Olympics to a tip given to him by his top German competitor, Luz Long. In the middle of the event, after Owens had already fouled twice on takeoff, Long gave Owens a helpful hint on how to correct his takeoff point. The result was a record breaking leap of over 26 feet, which stood for more than 20 years.

Artists have always learned more from observing other artists than from going to classes or observing nature. In a sense, you and I are master artists who have the opportunity to breathe new colors, shading and perspective into the lives of other artists who are struggling with their oils, brushes and canvases. Think back to the people who have had the most influence on you. You will likely find that they have been people who really cared about you—your parents, a great teacher, a coach, business associate, a good friend—someone who was interested in you. The only people you will influence to any great degree will be the people you care about. When you are with people you care for, their interests, rather than your own, will be uppermost in your mind.

Our success in getting along with others and communicating effectively with them depends solely upon our ability to recognize their desires and needs, and help them fill those desires and needs with positive actions.

In the communication process, knowledge is not always wisdom, sensitivity is not always accuracy, and sympathy is not always understanding. All customer service and the ability to gain trust and repeat business is based on empathy. Empathy is “feeling with” and never assuming anything until you have “walked a mile in the other person’s moccasins.” Since it is impossible to know the road another has walked, the best alternative is to ask questions with interest and respect, and listen for the hidden agendas and desires.

In this way, you can be a Renoir to the next Monet!

—Denis Waitley

Example: Reproduced with permission from the Denis Waitley Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Ezine, go to www.DenisWaitley.com Copyright 2009 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

Ï just came across this via a tweet from @PresentingPower.
The Four-S Method of Really Effective Communication


from John C. Maxwell - Simplify, See the person, Show the Truth and Seek response.

You can read the details here

Better Communication - Focus your Communication

Focus your communication on the needs of the audience


Many people shy away from telling jokes because they once told one that fell flat or they are afraid of appearing silly or of offending someone. Jokes are canned humorous stories which are subtly different from personal anecdotes. With personal anecdotes you have the authority to tell them because they happened to you. Jokes are independent and in a sense artificial so you take a little risk when you launch into one. However, when told well, a joke can cause great amusement and lift the mood of the gathering. A speaker who puts some relevant and well-told jokes into his or her speech will be appreciated by the audience who are often bored with bland presentations and are crying out for a little entertainment.

Here are some tips on how to tell a good joke:http://adjix.com/798r

 

 

by Garry Poole

This book provides groups with 1,001 engaging and thought-provoking icebreaker questions to start and sustain meaningful conversations.

 

Read more ...

 

 

As a professional copywriter, not only do I do a lot of writing but I also look at a lot of writing. One of the things I've noticed that sets the good/great writers from the so so is rhythm.

What I mean by rhythm is how the writing sounds. The rhythm of the words and sentences. It's a subtle aspect of writing, one not normally talked about, but that doesn't lessen its importance.

Unfortunately, rhythm is also tough to teach (which is probably why it isn't talked about very much). It's something felt deep inside, like it is with music. It isn't as straight forward as pointing out a grammar error. What makes it tougher is that everyone has their own style and own unique rhythm. However, these three tips should get you started thinking about your own writing rhythm and how to improve it.

1. Watch out for long sentences. In fact, you might want to consider avoiding them altogether.

There's nothing inherently wrong with long sentences. And there are times where longer sentences are necessary (see next tip but note I said longer and not long). The problem is that long sentences have a tendency to turn into flabby sentences.

Think of a sentence as an eel. The longer it gets, the more slippery and elusive it becomes. Long sentences are sentences just waiting to slither far away and completely out of your control.

So what's going on with long sentences? One problem is they're tiring to read. By the time readers reach the end of a long sentence, they've most likely forgotten the subject/verb/point of the sentence. And they're probably too tired or too lazy or too busy to go back to the beginning of the sentence and sort the whole thing out.




Another problem is long sentences lack punctuation. Punctuation is a big part of rhythm. The start and stop of a period. The bated breath of an em-dash. Think of punctuation as your percussion section.

But when you write a long sentence, all you have to work with is the quiet sigh of the unobtrusive comma. Yes, they have their place. But it's a subtler instrument. (Think triangle rather than kettledrum.)

A good rule of thumb is to make sure a single sentence doesn¹t go over 30 words. If it does, strongly consider breaking it in two. Or three.

2. Vary sentence length. In music, a steady beat is usually a good thing. In writing, it's considered one of the deadly sins. (Okay, not really. But it still isn't good writing.)

If every sentence is the same length, your writing is going to get pretty dull pretty quick. You need short sentences, longer sentences (but not too long) medium length sentences and very short sentences.

How do you know if your sentences are all the same? Does your piece sound monotonous? Are you getting a sing-song voice in your head when you read it? Better take a closer look at those sentence lengths. They're probably all pretty close to being the same.

3. Sentence fragments are a good thing. Forget your fourth-grade English teacher. Forget that obnoxious green line in Microsoft Word telling you your grammar is wrong. In copywriting, as well as in many other forms of writing, sentence fragments are a lifesaver. Those fragments allow you to quickly and easily vary your sentence length. Plus, they can help your writing sound conversational. People talk in sentence fragments. Therefore, reading sentence fragments gives people the impression you're talking to them in your own voice and your own style.

So what's a sentence fragment? A sentence that isn't complete. It's missing something noun, verb, both. It's not a complete sentence.

 




 

Rhythm in writing is much more than just what's going on with your sentences. (Not that we've covered everything that goes wrong with sentences.) But it's a good place to start.

-----Creativity Exercises
-----Get in touch with your writing rhythm

Hearing things out loud is a good way to start getting in touch with your writing rhythm. You may have heard of this technique to find mistakes and yes, it's a good way to discover errors. But, this is also an excellent way to start getting in touch with your own unique rhythm.

Start by reading your own work out loud. If you've never done this before, try not to be too hard on yourself. Chances are you're going to discover all sorts of problems including too long sentences and paragraphs where all the sentences are the same length. Make a note of what needs fixing.

Once you fix it, read it out loud again. Then read it the original way. Listen to the difference. Even better, try to feel the difference  deep inside, in your gut. Our gut is  an excellent rhythm sensor.

You should also read out loud things you haven't written. And read a variety of things  plays, novels, direct mail pieces, newspaper articles, Web sites, poems. Read bad writing and read writing that's so beautiful your knees buckle. Listen to the rhythm while you're reading. How does it make you feel? More importantly, how does it make your gut feel? Your gut will never lie to you learn to trust it.

Copyright Michele Pariza Wacek.
Michele Pariza Wacek owns Creative Concepts and Copywriting, a writing, marketing and creativity agency. She offers two free newsletters that help subscribers combine their creativity with hard-hitting marketing and copywriting principles to become more successful at attracting new clients, selling products and services and boosting business. She can be reached at
http://www.writingusa.com

Communication Barriers Video

Interesting ... From the Indira Ghandi Open University