Tag Archive for: inspiration
Thinking about New Year's resolutions - easy;
Making good resolutions - hard;
Keeping your resolutions - priceless.
You start off hopeful. You want to do better. You want to be better. You're tired of your life being one long disconnect between what you want to do and what you get around to doing.
But then reality kicks in. Like a Hamlet in the world of action, you find yourself torn between two impulses: "to do or not to do." Such ambivalence makes it tough to choose a clear commitment to action. So what happens?
Your positive energy becomes dammed, damning you to yet one more failed resolution. Your determination dissipates. It's too hard. It's too burdensome. Why kid yourself? Are you really going to shed those pounds? Get yourself in shape? Be more organized? Work more efficiently?
You surrender. It's not going to happen. You become cynical. It's stupid to make New Year's resolutions. They don't work. They're a waste of time - especially in the digital age. Beepers beckon, digital devices ding, social networks seduce. With all those accessible, appealing, addictive distractions, how does anybody stick to their resolutions?
You give up. You go back to spending countless hours immersed in activity that has nothing to do with your personal or career goals. No big deal. You only go around once, right? Why not just give in to your impulse of the moment?
Yet in those infrequent but quiet moments of solitude when you're honest with yourself, you wonder if you're teetering on the edge of the Boulevard of Broken Dreams. You know you can do better. Why give up on yourself?
This year, make resolutions that work by staying away from these three types of resolutions:
- Resolutions that are way too ambitious. Sure, you want to bring about dramatic change. Unfortunately, change doesn't work that way.
Instead of resolving to lose 30 pounds, aim simply to lose 5 pounds in January. But what if your goal really is to lose 30 pounds? Lose the 5 in January. Rejoice in your success. When you do, you'll be motivated to continue whatever you've been doing to lose the weight. Why? Because nothing succeeds like success.
- Resolutions that feel like hard work. You want to get in shape but hate going to the gym. You pay for a gym membership and promise yourself you'll go. Yeah, right. Gyms get rich on people like you. If you hate the gym, don't go.
Instead of insisting that you should do what you dislike, find a physical activity that you enjoy. Maybe it's a sport. Or a martial arts program. Or yoga. Or Pilates. Or dancing. Or cycling. Squash the "Yes, but" excuses. Just begin. And notice how much better you feel when you move your body.
- Resolutions that are conceptual. "I want to get more organized," is a good concept. Who wouldn't want to be more organized? (Okay, maybe if you're a nitpicking perfectionist, you might wish you were less organized).
Instead of focusing on the concept, hone in on specific actions you can take that will result in your being more organized.
Here are examples of action-oriented tasks that will enable you to reach your goal:
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- "I'll spend 15 minutes every day organizing papers on my desk."
- "I'll discard at least 10 items of clothing that I no longer wear every change of season."
- "I'll visit an office supply store to purchase organizing aids for my junk drawers."
Now, are you ready? Ready for what? Ready to make sustainable resolutions that will nurture your best self. Anybody against that?
Copyright © 2011: Linda Sapadin, Ph.D
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist and success coach who specializes in helping people overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. If your life is one long disconnect between what you intend to do and what you actually get around to doing, check out my new book, How to Beat Procrastination in the Digital Age.
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist and success coach who specializes in helping people overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. If your life is one long disconnect between what you intend to do and what you actually get around to doing, check out my new book, How to Beat Procrastination in the Digital Age.
At my website SixStylesofProcrastination.com, you can take a personality quiz. View a chart that describes the thinking, speaking and acting modes of each procrastination style. Read inspirational quotes just for procrastinators. And if you're pleased with your accomplishments but recognize how much easier it would be with a tailwind at your back, explore my coaching services
Tim Minchin, the former UWA arts student described as "sublimely talented, witty, smart and unabashedly offensive" in a musical career that has taken the world by storm, is awarded an honorary doctorate by The University of Western Australia.
So ... what will you do today?
We live in an age still governed in many ways, by our obsession with machines. They seem efficient, hard-working, productive and we try so hard to be as efficient, hard-working and productive in the same mould. We forget, sometimes, in the mad rush of to-do lists and ever increasing production, that we are human, that we are more than machines, that we are also creative beings. I certainly need reminding fairly frequently to stop, slow down, to find time for free time and rest.
"Excellence is an art won by training and habitation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then is not an act but a habit."
- Aristotle
Remember the master teacher once said 2000 years ago, "Unless you can become like little children, your chances are zero; you haven't got a prayer."
A major consideration for adults.
Be like children and remember there are four ways to be more like a child no matter how old you get…
1) Curiosity - Be curious; childish curiosity. Learn to be curious like a child. What will kids do if they want to know something bad enough? You’re right. They will bug you. Kids can ask a million questions. You think they're through. They've got another million. They will keep plaguing you. They can drive you right to the brink.
Also kids use their curiosity to learn. Have you ever noticed that while adults are stepping on ants, children are studying them? A child's curiosity is what helps them to reach, learn and grow.
2) Excitement - Learn to get excited like a child. There is nothing that has more magic than childish excitement. So excited you hate to go to bed at night. Can't wait to get up in the morning. So excited that you're about to explode. How can anyone resist that kind of childish magic? Now, once in awhile I meet someone who says, "Well, I'm a little too mature for all that childish excitement." Isn't that pitiful? You've got to weep for these kinds of people. All I've got to say is, "If you’re too old to get excited, you're old." Don't get that old.
3) Faith - Faith like a child. Faith is childish. How else would you describe it? Some people say, "Let's be adult about it." Oh no. No. Adults too often have a tendency to be overly skeptical. Some adults even have a tendency to be cynical. Adults say, "Yeah. I've heard that old positive line before. It will be a long day in June before I fall for that positive line. You've got to prove to me it's any good." See, that's adult, but kids aren't that way. Kids think you can get anything. They are really funny. You tell kids, "We're going to have three swimming pools." And they say, "Yeah. Three. One each. Stay out of my swimming pool." See, they start dividing them up right away, but adults are not like that. Adults say, "Three swimming pools? You're out of your mind. Most people don't even have one swimming pool. You'll be lucky to get a tub in the back yard." You notice the difference? No wonder the master teacher said, "Unless you can become like little children, your chances, they're skinny."
4) Trust - Trust is a childish virtue, but it has great merit. Have you heard the expression "sleep like a baby?" That's it. Childish trust. After you’ve gotten an A+ for the day, leave it in somebody else's hands.
Curiosity, excitement, faith and trust. Wow, what a powerful combination to bring (back) into our lives.
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"In relation to others, gratitude is good manners; in relation to ourselves, it is a habit of the heart and a spiritual discipline."
-- Daphne Rose Kingma
"Character gets you out of bed; commitment moves you to action.
Faith, hope and discipline enable you to follow through to completion."
--Zig Ziglar
"Every positive change - every jump to a higher level of energy and awareness - involves a rite of passage. Each time to ascend to a higher rung on the ladder of personal evolution, we must go through a period of discomfort, of initiation. I have never found an exception."
-- Dan Millman
