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Forget About Never Being Made Fun of: Here’s What to Do Instead

Being made fun of is probably one of the most common fears among people with confidence and self-esteem issues. And for many a good reason.

With the possible exception of Larry David and other deliberately self-deprecating comedians, nobody likes being made fun of. When somebody makes fun of us, a part of us is involuntarily exposed beyond our control. We don't get to decide when it happens, or in front of whom, or the specific subject matter.

If we feel particularly vulnerable towards ridicule, we might feel like preventing being made fun of by only surrounding ourselves with asskissers and yes-men. But really, show me just one person who's effectively made that idea work.

Or, we might feel like not surrounding ourselves with people at all - yet another common go-to idea amongst non-fidents. And can you guess if that's really a good, sensible idea?

Yeah, I thought so.

So, what do we do about being made fun of, then?

Well, as with a great many other things in life, there are options. And, as with life in general, there's no manual. So, in practice, it really comes down to personal preference and simply winging it.

However, if we wish to take the path of confidence, there are certain things to consider.

You see, confidence is all about latitude and inclusiveness. The more confident we are, the bigger we consider ourselves. And the bigger we consider ourselves, the more we allow ourselves to contain. Even being made fun of.

This doesn't mean we should lie down and take one insult after another like a little, submissive bitch. It means we should consider the reasons we might FEEL like a little, submissive bitch. Is it someone else "making" us feel this way? Or would we feel this way at all if we weren't disposed towards it in the first place?

This is a provocative question, I know. And as such, it's all the more important to consider.




And here's something else...

Have you ever noticed how no matter what happens in any given week, satirical shows will necessarily find a way to poke fun at it?

In fact, have you ever noticed how you're not the only person being made fun of? And, indeed, have you ever noticed how anyone can, in principle, make fun of anything, at any time?

Yes, they can. And this just so happens to include you. And me. In fact, everyone.

This is one of those inescapable conditions of being human. There's no changing it.

And this is why, when we try to actively escape or refrain from being made fun of, it only makes us look even more pathetic and hilarious. Because, considering how far we've come as a civilization, certain human traits ARE still pretty inelegant.

So accept it. Forget about never being made fun of. Instead, learn to embrace and love the idea that anyone can, in principle, make fun of anything, at any time - including you. Anything else is just fear-based insecurity.

Which everybody has. It's just that confident people act in spite of it. And Hell, confident people even make fun of themselves.

MENTAL EXERCISE

1) Turn off your phone, and eliminate all other possible distractions.

2) Close your eyes.

3) Now imagine that you're 200 feet tall and made out of diamonds.

4) Get heavy on the details. Imagine your surroundings. Where are you at? Is it a city? If yes, which one, and which part of it?

Try walking around. What do people, buildings, animals, cars, streets, etc. look like from up there?

Engage your other senses as well. Are you hearing the wind more clearly up there? Maybe tasting the cool air?

Are you walking slowly and confidently? Do movements seem slower? Maybe less risky than usual?

Try doing this for 5 minutes. Notice how you feel afterwards.

It's when we think of ourselves as big that we grow a little.

As a confidence coach, Andy Kay helps people who are held back -- by fear, overwhelm, anxiety, indecisiveness, anything. After years studying confident, successful people, he knows what works and what doesn't. He doesn't… tolerate "spiritual" BS about "higher powers" and "purposes". -- We have access to all the power we need to achieve our own purposes; period.

Visit https://www.getconfidencecoaching.com and get confidence and empowerment for free!

What Is The Purpose Of Life? The Top 3 Ways To Finding Meaning In Your Life (It’s Never Too Late)

 

You are meant to live a life of purpose. However, too often we fall into the trap of living a life to please someone else and not out of a sense of who we are as individuals. We are told by society and those around us what is an appropriate way to live. Many times this goes against what our spirit is trying to say to us, but we squash that and do as we are told. Because of this, we are unfulfilled by life and lose our passion for life.

Living without purpose is not how we were meant to live. We are supposed to live a life of passion and meaning. Our life should express who we are as individuals. It should inspire us and add something to the world around us. To do this, we need to follow our purpose and create the life of our dreams. We are worthy of such a life, no matter what we may think.

For me, I followed the path that I thought others wanted for me. I pursued a post-graduate degree. I followed a way that I thought would bring me happiness and fulfillment. I got a job in the corporate world and made excellent money, but I found myself unfulfilled and uninspired. When I found myself in transition, I couldn't find another good paying job. I floundered around. All I could discover were low paying, unfulfilling jobs for me. They were perfectly good jobs. However, they weren't for me. Friends and family members were telling me I needed to go to work. I needed a "normal" job to earn money. The problem was my spirit was not telling me to go this route. However, it took me a long time to listen to it. I finally realized that my soul was screaming at me that it would die if I got another corporate job. It took me a long time to listen and discover my purpose.

Does this sound familiar? Do you believe that you do not have a purpose? Everyone has a purpose. You can find it if you just listen to what your spirit is telling you. Let us look at the top three ways that you can find your life purpose.




1) Notice when you feel most alive. - As you go through your day, notice those moments when you are feeling most alive. What is happening at those moments? What are you doing? What are you thinking? It is in those moments that your spirit is telling you what your path is.

"Notice when your heart leaps up in joyous exuberance... In these moments the voice of your spirit is speaking directly to you." - Justine Willis Toms

As you start noticing those moments, you will begin to see a pattern. Look at the trends that you see and find out what they are telling you. It is giving you the path for you to walk. Are you listening?

2) Follow your passion - What are you passionate about? What is it that if you don't do it that day, at night you feel your day was not a success? Those things that we are passionate about giving us a glimpse of what motivates us, and lead us to our purpose.

"If you can't figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you into your purpose." - Bishop T. D. Jakes

Your passion opens up the doorway to your purpose. By paying attention to what you're passionate about, you'll be able to uncover what inspires you. This leads you to your purpose.

3) Trust yourself - You are enough! You are worthy! Do you believe these statements? Many times we fall into the habit that other people know best. That the experts are someone else; our parent, our pastor, our teachers, someone other than ourselves. But for our life, we are the experts. We know what is best for us. Pay attention to what you feel, what you think.

"If your life is cloudy and you find yourself far, far off course, you may have to go on faith for a while, but eventually you'll learn that every time you trust your internal navigation system, you end up closer to your right life." - Martha Beck

We allow our heads to rule our hearts. The truth is we need to use our heads to follow our heart because our heart knows where we need to go and what path we need to follow. Trust yourself and that small voice that is telling to step out, to follow a different direction, as it will lead you to your right life.

By paying attention to these as any of these three things come up in your life, you'll be able to hone into your life purpose. You'll be able to figure out what will enable you to live a fulfilling, inspired life. And when you're living life on purpose, you are a higher value to yourself, your family, and to the world. Isn't that worth living your purpose?

Do you want to discover your life purpose and live your life to the fullest?

To be able to do this, you'll need to explore who you are and what makes you tick. Then you will need to get clear on what you want, set goals and achieve them. Go to http://www.lojope.com to find tools, articles, and the support you need.

The quickest way to achieve your goals is not to attempt them by yourself. Even if you don't hire me as your coach, hire a coach, all the high achievers do it. If you don't hire a coach, at least work with a trusted friend as the path doesn't have to be long and arduous, especially if you have someone along for the ride.

From Trent Fisher - Where Extraordinary Begins - Working to transform the world a person at a time.

 

7 Ways to Develop Emotional Mastery

It is commonly understood that to exercise mastery on one's emotions is to master life itself. Developing emotional mastery goes a long way beyond just being less reactive to upsetting situations to being able to create a steady flow of positive healthy emotions on a regular basis, impacting every aspect of our lives. When we change the way we see things, the things we see change.

Emotional mastery or emotional intelligence is simply being aware and able to manage, control and understand one's own emotions and behavior and understand the emotions and behavior of others around us.

Here are seven ways to develop master your emotions:

1. Conscious Breathing: Just as your breath changes under emotional duress, conscious breathing can help you manage your emotions. Panicky breathing puts the body in a tense state, increasing heart rate, creating a state of anxiety. Deep relaxed breathing, reduces the heart rate, evens out blood pressure, gets more oxygen into your system and has an overall calming effect on the body.

2. Movement: Emotional mastery comes with having control over and being able to create emotional states in the body. The fact that emotions are "feelings" tells us that emotions live inside our bodies. Certain body postures are associated with people who, for example, are depressed, and other body postures are associated with people who are ecstatic.

The facial feedback hypothesis in psychology, proves the release of dopamine in the brain, when an individual is smiling, creating a wave of 'happy' even when sad.

Just moving around the body, exercising, running, dancing is enough to shift your mood tremendously.

3. Refocus: What we focus on becomes bigger, in essence we fuel the thoughts we choose to focus on, magnifying the feeling behind the thought. By simply shifting our focus to move past the event, or to a more pleasant thought associated with the experience, we expand that pleasant feeling thought, and thus shift our emotional state.

4. Reframing: looking at the situation from a different perspective. Before settling on one and only one story that 'THIS is how it is', find other ways of looking at the situation. It is not mere talk that every cloud has a silver lining. This is how optimism is cultivated. See things from a different angle, one that eases your mind than tenses you up more. It's worth spending time on changing the way we feel, cause one change doesn't go in vain, it effects our future reactions as well.




5. Gratitude: Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is life transformational. Being grateful is like putting on special glasses they bring to light all the blessings in life, which were otherwise overlooked and never appreciated, even during the most trying times. Habituating appreciation for not just the things in your life but even so much as attempting to see good in everyone and everything can be empowering in shifting the way you look at things.

6. Never Assume: The point of the matter is that an emotional reaction is simply a physical reaction to a given situation based on the beliefs you harbor in your subconscious that was a result of a previous encounter of a similar experience. An example of this could be 'There is something wrong with me, that at every job, my colleagues don't like me '. This is a belief that is made strong every time a colleague forgets to greet you, or reply to your email. There is a lesson behind every emotional reaction, and to master emotions, one should cultivate the curiosity to understanding the root or core belief that pushes you to react in a certain way. Emotional reactions can teach us something about ourselves that when understood and changed can avoid similar reactions in the future.

7. Meditation: Emotional mastery goes hand in hand with self-mastery. At the core of self mastery is self awareness. Meditation is a great tool to objectively view emotions, thoughts, events and behaviors. Meditation simply inculcates the ability to become the awareness behind a thought, than the thought itself. It distances the person from the emotion or thought, in essence the observed becomes the observer, distancing from the emotion and gaining an understanding of where it arises from. Meditation quietness and brings the mind to an altered state of awareness where things make sense and where one experiences overwhelming states of calm, tranquility, peace and relaxation. Meditation however isn't just limited to sitting crossed legged, eyes closed and focused on the breath. Meditation can refer to anything that quietness and focuses the mind, from constant traffic of thoughts to one thing. This can be brought about by creating a pattern by repeating mantras, jogging, listening to music, or simply listening to the breath.

In conclusion, we are in conscious control of how we feel. Developing the ability to deal with, change or create emotions leads to emotional mastery.

Beejal Parmar Founder & Senior Partner, True Aim Solutions

"The better you know yourself, the greater you will succeed, the happier you will be!" We help our clients discover what they need to know about themselves and others to achieve greater success and happiness in their career, business and life by providing various personality assessments and training needs analysis.

>>> We invite you to take our COMPLIMENTARY 3-minute test to discover the secrets of your personality and receive the FREE 'Personality Success Keys Guide'. Please take a moment to visit our website: http://PersonalitySuccessBlueprint.com

Change By Choice

CHANGE BY CHOICE OR YOU'LL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO CHANGE

One of the most effective ways in dealing with stress is to change by choice. You see, if you don't change by choice, sooner or later, you'll have no choice,but to change. What do we mean by this? Our own conscious mind is constantly giving us feedback. It's like a barometer. How we're tracking in our life.

We need to look at this both in our personal life and we can look at it in business life to make things more effective and give us more options. When you change early, you have many options available and the job is easier. While we tend to resist change, let's face it, change is the only constant. Night changes into day, day into night. We change our clothes every day. We change the food we eat.

pivotal change

These are things that are easy to do, but when it comes to more serious things in our life, we tend to stick to our old ways because it takes more effort to make those changes. Let's look at it more in our personal life to begin with. What if you're put on a few kilograms, if you'd take note of this, your own conscious mind is giving you a signal, manifesting as a physical sense in your body that what you're doing isn't working.

It's easier to reign in when it's just a few kilograms, but if you ignore it, and the weight becomes more of a problem, it becomes a harder task, doesn't it? Also, other health problems may come into play. Then you not only have to make changes with how you're dealing with food, but now you have to change how you're going to deal with these other health problems. This compound becomes more difficult. Your options become restricted.

What do you do about if you know you need to lose weight? Instead of changing to the next fad diet that comes along, you need to change the relationship you have with food, because you know the last 20 diets didn't work, so why would you expect something different? If you have aches and pains in your body and you have a belief that it's just your age or it's just a part of your life and you adhere to this, and maybe it's even reinforced by other people telling you the same thing. The same limiting beliefs.

What if you were to change the way you think about. What if you will do things to become more flexible? Develop a more flexible body, and usually a flexible body and a flexible mind go hand and hand. Just as the same as a rigid body and a rigid mind go hand in hand and we get stuck in our ways.

As things get worse, become more complicated, our options become fewer. To the point where you have no more options. You either change or you pass a tipping point where nothing else can be done. By developing a flexible body and a flexible mind, this allows you to bend more before you're going to break. Work easier, cope with stress more effectively.




If you're suffering with stress, if you don't do the necessary things to deal with stress, then as the systems become overloaded, it could turn into anxiety if you don't deal with this effectively and pull it back to normal states of stress.

The final stage, when the resources run out more and more, this can lead into depression. This is when all resources have run out and the unconscious mind says, "I have nothing else available to you."

Let's look at this in the business world. There are always disruptors. We're seeing it in the transport industry at the moment, and the resistance to women in the boardroom, from those trying to adhere to the old ways, "We have always run the system, and we won't change. If they don't change, they'll have no more options and soon they'll be out of business.

To give you an example from a book of Forbes which is going back a few years now but it's still quite relevant. In 1987, Forbes celebrated their 70th anniversary and they put out a list of the top 500 companies. By the year 2000, just 13 years later, more than half of those companies were out of business. These were the companies that refused to change. They rested on their laurels and thought, "We've been successful. We don't need to change."

Any company that thinks "We've always done it that way, we're not going to change because this is a way it is and we've been running the industry are in for a rude shock. Well, the disruptors have always been there. Go way back to Gutenberg. The invention of the printing press. Look how amazing the invention of the printing press was, what a great disruptor it was at the time, but how it empowered people so much.

Nowadays, we have modern day disruptors. In the transport industry, and in the accommodation industry. Those that try to hold on those old ways, those who resist change, eventually get squeezed out because their options become fewer and fewer. Instead of resisting, play the same game, learn what the new rules are. When you take action early, this eliminates the stress because the bigger the problem gets, the more stress is involved. Then you've got to start putting more things into play to the point where you either change by choice or have no choice but to change.

Many people have the attitude that "If only the world would change, my life would be better".




You see, when you change, you alter the dynamics, so people, circumstances and events have no choice but to change. This empowers you to influence things for the better.

Over the next few years, 40% of jobs are just going to disappear. What are you going to do to stay ahead of the game? You need to be constantly looking, how can I improve things, how can I tweak this, what changes do I need to make NOW

SO, YOU HAVE THREE OPTIONS:

1. Do nothing, hold on to your limiting beliefs, and think you have no control over things.

2. Wait for the inevitable, to the point where you really do have no option but to change.

3. Change early, when you first get the sign, empower yourself, and take control of your life.

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

Start looking at things in your life. Take notice of what your unconscious mind is telling you. These things that are manifesting in your life. Learn to read your barometer, know what to leave and what to change. Change early, change by choice or know that you eventually have no choice but to change.

Which choice are you going to choose?

Copyright 2016

Ray Goslin is the founder of Allstressmanagement.com Specialising in stress and pain management systems which allows you to Change by Choice with the "Lifestyle By Design Project" For more information go to https://allstressmanagement.com