Tag Archive for: parenting

Two Sets of Proud Parents


I received an e-mail with a story worth sharing. Only the names have been changed to preserve privacy.

Doug is the proud and loving father of Emma, a high school junior who takes a leadership class responsible for putting on dances and other student events. All student body officers must take the class, but a number of other kids like Emma who just like to participate are also enrolled. Well, Emma is a little different and she's becoming more aware of those differences. Recently, she began to tell her father through tears, "I don't like having Down's Syndrome."

Doug comforted and encouraged his daughter the best he could, but he admits he always wonders how her classmates really perceive her. Do they just tolerate or patronize her, or do they see the richness of her character and appreciate her sense of humor and the beauty of her heart?

These concerns came into play when he visited Emma at a school event where she was working at a table with the student body president, a handsome kid named Chris. Later, Emma announced that Chris had invited her to the homecoming dance. Doug was doubtful and afraid that she might be embarrassed or hurt if she misunderstood. So he checked with the leadership teacher, who discreetly confirmed it was true. This extraordinary young man asked Emma to accompany him to dinner and the dance.

Doug was moved to tears and confessed he was ashamed he doubted this could happen. 

He wrote of his joy seeing his daughter prepare for one of the greatest days in her life. And he marveled at the kindness and self-confidence of the young man who was able to see and care about the inner Emma.

Doug was rightfully proud of Emma, but how good would you feel to be Chris's parents?


Author: Michael Josephson
www.charactercounts.org

I love stories like this - real stories from real people - that inspire and remind us of our humanity.  And it's beautiful to be able to share them with you.

So I welcome stories from you too.  Do you have a story to share?

Please send me your story to share.  It's a simple matter of filling in a few boxes with your details and cutting and pasting your story into one of them.  Just go to this page and do it!... http://bit.ly/1xbNT41 

Stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children, but also find profound meaning in doing so

Far from the Tree

Andrew Solomon
Winner:  The National Book Critics Circle Award  2012 General Nonfiction

Winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award, a Books for a Better Life Award, and one of The New York Times Book Review’s Ten Best Books of 2012, this masterpiece by the National Book Award-winning author ofThe Noonday Demon features stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children, but also find profound meaning in doing so—“a brave, beautiful book that will expand your humanity” (People).

Andrew Solomon’s startling proposition is that being exceptional in some way is at the core of the human condition—that difference is what unites us. He writes about families coping with deafness, dwarfism, Down syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, or multiple severe disabilities; with children who are prodigies, who are conceived in rape, who become criminals, who are transgender. While each of these characteristics is potentially isolating, the experience of difference within families is universal, and Solomon documents triumphs of love over prejudice in every chapter.

All parenting turns on a crucial question: to what extent should parents accept their children for who they are, and to what extent they should help them become their best selves? Drawing on ten years of research and interviews with three hundred families, Solomon mines the eloquence of ordinary people facing extreme challenges.

Elegantly reported by a spectacularly original and compassionate thinker,Far from the Treeexplores how people who love each other must struggle to accept each other—a theme in every family’s life.<The New York Timescalls it a “wise and beautiful” volume, “that shoots arrow after arrow into your heart,” and says that it “will shake up your preconceptions and leave you in a better place.”

 

Andrew Solomon (born 30 October 1963) is a writer on politics, culture and psychology who lives in New York and London. He has written for The New York Times, The New Yorker, Artforum, Travel and Leisure, and other publications on a range of subjects, including depression, Soviet artists, the cultural rebirth of Afghanistan, Libyan politics, and deaf politics. His book The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression won the 2001 National Book Award, was a finalist for the 2002 Pulitzer Prize, and was included in The Times list of one hundred best books of the decade.

The reading group guide for Far from the Tree includes an introduction, discussion questions, ideas for enhancing your book club, and ideas for teachers. The suggested questions are intended to help your reading group find new and interesting angles and topics for your discussion. We hope that these ideas will enrich your conversation and increase your enjoyment of the book.

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Stop Defiant Behavior

5 Effective Discipline Techniques
If you are feeling frustrated, tired and worn down from constantly battling with your defiant child who seems to oppose over absolutely everything, you will be pleased to know that there are a variety of effective discipline techniques you can try for getting your kids to listen and cooperate with you more easily and to stop defiant behavior Here are three tips on parenting defiant kids for putting an end to defiant behavior:

Set Limits And Stick To Them
Setting limits for young children helps them to understand and respect boundaries. Your ability to set limits and stick to them is crucial for effectively disciplining your defiant child. Decide what behaviors you won't ever allow, and then stick to those limits at all times. For example, if your child demonstrates defiant behavior by refusing to hold your hand to cross a road, it is wise to firmly set a limit that crossing the road is only done while holding hands with you. Make it crystal clear that there is no other option and your child will very quickly learn that defiance is pointless.

Give Your Child Choices
Whenever possible, offer your child two alternate choices to give them a certain level of control. For example, if your defiant child is resisting getting dressed in the morning, giving him or her two outfits to pick from will take the focus off the power struggle over getting dressed and dissolve the defiant behavior. Allowing your child to feel like they have some control by giving them choices makes cooperation natural and easy.

Give Your Child Predictable Consequences
If you want to stop the defiant behaviour, it's crucial that you be consistent in delivering consequences to your child in response to inappropriate behavior. If you have warned them that action A leads to consequence B, then it must do so every single time. Your child will very soon learn that the same negative result will come from the same inappropriate behavior every time, and once your child understands this, they'll be far more likely to comply without defiance.

Give Warnings To Smooth Transitions
Imagine if you were midway through typing an email or making yourself a delicious dessert and your partner ordered you to "Get in the car NOW!" No doubt you wouldn't be impressed and you wouldn't be inclined to comply.As adults we don't like having someone else's agenda thrown at us demanding an instant response. Children are no different. They need a few minutes to shift gears for transitions, so giving your child a five minute warning is a good way to prevent defiant behavior when you are trying to get them to move onto doing something else.

Consider Your Child's Feelings
Sometimes defiant behavior can result from a specific emotion your child is having trouble dealing with, such as jealousy or insecurity. Look for a pattern in your child's misbehaviour and try to identify if a specific emotion seems to be the root cause of it. If so, discuss this with your child to conquer the defiant behaviour at its core and put an end to it once and for all.
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Want more tips on how to stop defiant behavior? Then check out the Ace Child Discipline Guide - it offers 150 specific discipline techniques that you can instantly start using with your child to stop misbehavior fast! Visit http://acechilddisciplineguide.com

An old man, his son and a sparrow

Parents Love - Emotion Fades Through Time, But Love Is a Choice.

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Friday film – Cosby on Parenting

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Mothers and education

I find, by close observation, that the mothers are the levers which move in education. The men talk about it . . . but the women work most for it.

-- Frances Watkins Harper

More quotations about families => http://bit.ly/siNxqq

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Ten Ways to be a Better Dad

1. Respect your children’s mother.
One of the best things a father can do for his children is to respect their mother. If you are married, keep your marriage strong and vital. If you’re not married, it is still important to respect the mother of your children. A father and mother who respect each other, and let their children know it, provide a secure environment for them. When children see their parents respecting each other, they are more likely to feel that they are also respected and accepted.

more => (from Books for Families) http://bit.ly/pG6ePA

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Consuming Kids – what parents can do


Consuming Kids pushes back against the wholesale commercialization of childhood, raising urgent questions about the ethics of children's marketing and its impact on the health and well-being of kids.
(From Videos for Families )

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Strong fathers – strong daughters

‎10 Secrets Every Father Should Know ...

The most important person in a young girl’s life? Her father.

That’s right—and teen health expert Dr. Meg Meeker has the data and clinical experience to prove it.

(From the Pivotal Package - Books for Families)

What's the Deal with Consequences

Whether you're new to positive parenting or a seasoned veteran, the issue of consequences can get your head spinning. Logical versus natural versus imposed. Then there are positive and negative consequences. What is the difference between them all?
I'm going to attempt to simplify this whole consequence dilemma by giving you one secret tool.
Throw the word "consequence" entirely out of your vocabulary and replace it with the term "problem-solving."
=> http://bit.ly/a3trhH