Real power isn't the ability to imagine and implement an endless series of new solutions to old problems, but to awaken the higher understanding that allows us to transcend the need we have to live with any painful problems at all. Which would you rather have: a big fire hose with a hydrant and a fire to put out every day, or a life without fires in them?

But what we have to examine here is the way we think! Most of us wouldn't know what to do if there wasn't something pressing us. Isn't it weird that we'll come up with a path, a solution, something that we're going to do, that once we do it we'll become whatever we've imagined? No more pressure, no more fear -- but then, the very thing that we set out to obtain, to make us fearless, to take the pressure out of our lives, becomes the source of a new fear and a new pressure! And then when that doesn't work, we do it again, and again, and again.

We have no idea of the power that we're created with. We are granted at birth the possibility of a freedom that has absolutely no contingencies whatsoever that can fall apart because the conditions in our lives do.

The kind of power I'm talking about is so simple. For instance, ordinarily we're trying to obtain things so that we can control or manipulate conditions, but we're not talking about that. Instead, how about the authority over our own negative reactions? That's a completely different kind of power, isn't it? To possess ourselves as opposed to trying to possess things or relationships through which we have a measure of security. The power to possess ourselves can't be granted by anyone or anything outside of us. It doesn't exist. No teacher, no book, nothing can grant us what it is that our heart of hearts actually longs for.

But something has gotten twisted up inside of us. We set out for life the minute we're born through family and tradition. We see our parents -- and every last person we meet -- striving for the power to achieve or protect. It never occurs to us that all we've seen and done in our lives has not produced what it is we're looking for. If we ever get far enough to even suspect the truth of that, then it turns the whole question on a dime.

What we then want to do is understand the nature of this illusion we have of being powerless in the first place! Because who seeks power? Who seeks power other than someone who feels powerless? That is the only reason that a person looks for power, whatever it may be. It is because something inside of us is afraid. So where did the whole notion come in this life that there is something that we're to live with that produces fear in us, and for the fear then sends us out for ways to find power to fulfill the end of our own fears?

The true powers put us in relationship with what grants us power instead of us looking for powers to control relationships as we presently do. There is a reversal that has to take place in our understanding. This reversal begins with the simple act of understanding what we've been talking about, which is: "I'm afraid of something... I'm going to go have dinner with someone in a few minutes," or "I have a meeting tomorrow," or "My health isn't what it should be..." What happens in the moment where the mind considers its own condition? It can't help but consider at the same time everything that it has collaborated with to make as perfect -- its expectations, "how things should be." The more it tries to keep what it wants, the more it refuses what it's been given. In other words, there are possibilities that are all the time being handed out to us that we simply push away because there is something in us that prefers the pain of trying to control problems -- while in reality they don't exist the way our mind imagines them.

Work to remember yourselves. Work to remember that at any given moment you don't have to be captured by anything that presently causes this compromise of your soul. Remember, there are always higher possibilities.

Excerpted from Seven Powers, "Freedom From the Fear of Feeling Powerless" by Guy Finley

 

What is Stress?

It may sound strange for you to read the title, Good Stress and Bad Stress, it was sort of weird for me to write the words. My initial thought was, "Stress, who needs any of it" but stress is thought of as a part of life that is unavoidable and even needed in some instances. Generally, the word "stress" refers to feelings of being overwhelmed or overloaded to the extent of disrupting our ability to cope with a certain pressure. The reasons for stress are numerous and may differ from person to person. In fact almost anything can trigger a stressful response. Some of the most common causes are listed below:

Common Causes of Stress

Grief/bereavement
Financial issues
Waiting for news (doctor reports, job interview, test results)
Loss of job
Driving in traffic
Moving/ relocating
What happens to our bodies when we are stressed?

When people become stressed their bodies react to the pressure in a number of ways. These physical reactions can have a large impact on our overall health when not checked and not regulated. It can also impact our relationships, careers, parenting abilities and a lot of our other social interactions.

Effects on the Body

Back pain
Erectile dysfunction
Headache
Nervous twitching
Loss of libido
Sleeping difficulties
Rapid Breathing
How does stress affect our thoughts, feelings and behavior?

Much can be said about the connection between thoughts, feelings and behavior. In fact, from a psychological standpoint the approach to managing stress is often dealt with by applying cognitive-behavioral techniques (CBT). These techniques emphasize the role of thinking in how we feel and what we do. The principle behind CBT is basically assuming that if you change your thinking about a particular thing then your behavior will change. Here is a little example to show how thoughts can lead to certain behaviors and in this case increased your stress level.

So lets suppose that making the deadline for a project that you are responsible for at work is causing your to become stressed.

Person A: Thinks that because he/she may not finish the project in time that he/she is somehow inferior or not up to an ideal standard.

Person B: Thinks that because he/she may not finish the project in time that he/she may need to get assistance from others or push the deadline back so that they have more time to work.

You can see from the two examples how thoughts about a particular situation can increase the level of stress. While it is realistic to assume that both situations are stressful, Person A is adding an addition helping of stress to their plate by simply thinking negatively about the situation.

Effect of Stress on Thoughts and Feelings

Anger
Burnout
Depression
Forgetfulness
Fatigue
Irritability
Effects of Stress on Behavior

Frequent crying
Increase cigarette smoking
Social withdrawal
Drug use
Eating too little or too much
Alcohol or drug abuse
Self-help for Stress

The term stress management is not one that I necessarily like to use because like I said in the opening paragraph, not a single thing about stress appeals to me. I prefer to think of living in a balanced manner. As such, creating a life where each of area of your life receives optimal attention in itself reduces stress. So what I am suggesting here is that you manage yourself as opposed to managing stress by structuring your day, getting organized and being present for each moment of your day (while attending to your schedule of course). Here are some ideas of what to include in your day to help get you going.

Exercise

Start scheduling regular exercise times in your day. Exercise benefits a person's mental and physical state.

Time

Make sure to set aside time in each day that is just for you to do with as you please. I would say at least an hour and to make it a big deal. Like for example saying, "From 7-8 pm each day is my time". During this time you can drink your favorite flavor of tea, call a friend, paint your nails, luxuriate in a warm bath or whatever creative thing you may think of.

Center Yourself

Do you meditate? Pray? Sit still doing nothing much at all? If not, then you might want to start. With our busy lives, adding this part to your day along with the mentioned above "Time" may be a bit much. We have bossy bosses, tiny toddlers, and hungry husbands who keep us busy each day but maybe we go to bed a bit earlier than usual, say 15 minutes, and before drifting off to sleep as we are lying in bed be center ourselves. One great way to center yourself is by listening to the rhythm of the breath. By really taking time to hear and become one with your breath, you find peace and what a great way to end the day.

Other Self-help Suggestions

Relaxation techniques
Get a massage
Read inspiration works
Read nonsensical works to free your mind of its own stringent regimen
Drink Herbal teas for calming and relaxation
Aromatherapy. Soothing scented candles, incense or essentials oils to tantalize the olfactory senses
Laugh, Play, Holler. Note we are not hollering because we are mad, we are hollering because we can!
*For persons who cannot escape the heaviness of stress due to obligations beyond their control or for other reasons, I would suggest that you a lot a certain time each day to stress out. Say maybe from 11am to 11:45 each day you allow yourself to fret over whatever situation is causing emotional upset.

Martha Dawson is an Intuitive Life Coach and Reiki practitioner at Wellness Consultants. To learn more about the coaching process and how coaches support clients in creating a calmer life please visit http://greaterlifenow.wordpress.com/life-coaching-3/.

 

Picture this. You arrive at a party. When you walk in the room, EVERYONE stops and stares for a second, before crowding around you to talk.

Everyone wants a piece of you; you're the center of attention. When you speak, people LISTEN.

They cling to your every word. You crack jokes effortlessly, and people find you funny... irresistible... and strangely magnetic.

Members of the opposite sex can't help being around you. Everyone wants to be your friend... to seek your advice... to indulge in your stories. You're strong, attractive, confident, radiating power and respect.

You're the top of the food chain-- the *alpha* personality that everyone loves and adores (and is secretly jealous of).

If that describes you, great -- you're well aware of how this rare ability affords you an incredible lifestyle, fun and thrilling social encounters, and opens doors to career opportunities closed off to the general public.

But if that's NOT you, listen up... because you're seriously missing out. And what's more, you *can* be that person, almost immediately.

In fact, if you're the type who shies away in the corner... avoids social confrontation... can't stand being the center of attention (but would love to)... and is SCARED TO DEATH at the thought of standing up and speaking in front of a crowd of people... I can turn you into the most confident person in the room.

See, the reason you're shy and introverted isn't because you're any less social, humorous, intelligent or charismatic than others. Many confident people aren't smart or charismatic at all... they just don't fear what other people think of them.

As a child, you were conditioned to keep your mouth shut (Ever been told by your parents "Don't talk to strangers?".). You were ordered to obey authority figures like parents, teachers, adults. As a grown-up, this "learned" behaviour is like a knife to your confidence... and is no longer relevant to your life.

It's time to shake it off.

The good news is, you can completely *reverse* the conditioning that's no longer valuable in your adult life... in just minutes. It's quick, effortless, requires zero practice, and works even if you don't think it will.

That's because, I have access to a powerful hypnosis CD that targets your negative ego, and re-programs your mind to immediately enjoy greater confidence.

It's called "Extrovert Me" and it has already helped HUNDREDS of people kill confidence issues dead (and it's only just been released to the public).

You can grab it instantly at:

http://bit.ly/yBibE4

 

Yes that's an affiliate link.  If you buy the product
I will make several cents - with thanks.  It all helps!

Happiness is a state of mind, and luckily for all of us, it is something we can choose to have. Sure there will be things that occur that may not make us happy, but overall the state of happiness is something we can choose to live in. Do you want to be happy/ Choose to be. And you can get there with these 5 simple tips.

Laugh more

This is one of the easiest and quickest ways to get us to a point of happiness, laughing. Laughing is very therapeutic and something we all know how to do. No special tolls need to be learned, we just need to laugh. This can be done simply by watching a funny tv show or movie, or having lunch with that friend that can always make you laugh, or search on youtube for the funniest videos (I find a lot of clips from the show "Who's Line Is It Anyway" to be perfect for making me laugh). The key is to find things you find funny and watch or read them. Just do it anytime you are feeling down or unhappy and see how quickly you are brought back to a state of happiness.

Play more

This is another sure fire way of bringing you back to a state of being happy. Get out and play, have fun, move around. Get that blood flowing doing whatever is play for you. It could be playing catch with your kids, taking the dog for a walk, playing your favorite sport, doing cartwheels in the grass, etc. It really doesn't matter what you choose to play at, just play, get your body moving doing something that is enjoyable and fun. The more you play the happier you will be.

Love more

Often the cause for not feeling happy is because we do not feel enough love in our lives, we might feel isolated or alone. This is not uncommon and there is a way to bring more love into your life. The key is not to try to bring in love, but to give out more love. Find a way to give to others without any expectations of anything in return. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, become a big brother or big sister, volunteer to take dogs for walks at a shelter, etc. Give to others unconditionally and your heart will start to open. The more your heart is open the more you will be ready to receive love.

Don't be so Serious

Another thing that can lead to a lack of happiness is taking things and ourselves too seriously. We get caught up in perfection and a desire to always do everything right. We never want to look bad in the eyes of others so instead of taking some risks we play it safe and then feel down because we have not achieved all we know we are capable of achieving. So stop being so serious, stop worrying so much about what other may or may not think about you. Instead work on enjoying your life, taking risks and doing things that may make others uncomfortable. Do what you will enjoy.

Be Grateful

The final tip to bringing more happiness in your life is to start focusing on the positive things in your life. Start a gratitude journal, a simple book that you write down everything you are grateful for at the end of the day. These do not have to be groundbreaking things to be grateful for, you could be grateful for a delicious sandwich at lunch, or for that person who held the door for you, or for that penny you found on the ground, etc. They can be simple things; the key is to write down as many things as you can at the end of every day that you are grateful for. Then when you wake up each morning re-read what you write the night before to start your day out with the right positive mindset.

You can choose to have more happiness in your life if you just follow these simple 5 steps. Do these every day and you will be amazed how much happier you will be on a regular basis. Just be ready to hear from those around you how much happier you seem and know it is all because you took action and chose to be that way.

..................................................................

Sean is an internet entrepreneur who specializes in helping people to identify thier passion and find a way to turn that passion into a monetized website that makes sustainable passive income. To learn more about how to learn the basics check out http://www.WhatIsFinancialFreedom.com

It is the energy you bring into the room.  You can have a positive attitude about the events in your life , or you can come from a place of complaint and misery.  You decide.  You can consciously choose to respond in a positive way to almost any event or circumstance-a positive attitude is simple a choice you make.

Now we all know people with negative attitudes .  They are the ones who constantly complain , whine , and moan.   Nothing seems to go right for them. They are the perpetual victims in life. This is because they are operating at a lower frequency , and through the Law of Attraction they are attracting even more to complain about. The reason they tend to stay ''stuck''in their negative lifestyles is because they are constantly focusing their thoughts and energy on their negative present and negative past. By doing so , they are creating the same future over and over.

On the other hand , we also know people with positive attitudes-the ones who always seem to be happy , the ones who really seem to have a handle on things in their life. They are more fun , their energy feels great to be around , and they are operating at a higher frequency.

Surround yourself with these positive , nourishing , uplifting people whenever you can. Spend your time with spiritually evolved people who encourage your growth and applaud your successes. Wrap yourself in a support network of inspirational people with positive attitudes and energy.

You can change your attitude and change your life.

Namaste.

Jack Canfield.

Many things about your life boil down to the hand you have been dealt. You can't change the fact that you were born in that place and with certain givens for your appearance, IQ, or physical skills. Education and training can open some doors for you, but they cannot change your past, make you taller and more athletic, or alter the fact that some people are unfair in the way they treat you.

In spite of the fact that all of us know that most of our life circumstances are beyond our control, we are all still tempted to fret and complain about things that cannot be changed. Of course they cause distress. They certainly put us at a disadvantage in certain contexts. They mustn't be allowed to define and limit us.
The people who do best with life move beyond the temptation to whine and feel sorry for themselves. They face the disappointment and move beyond it. They acknowledge the bad break and look for a way to turn it around. They work from a half-full rather than half-empty glass mindset.

These people have a different attitude than the defeatist and whiner. They have found a way to make lemonade from their lemons.

There is a section in John Baillie's A Diary of Private Prayer that reads . . .

Teach me, O God, so to use all the circumstances of my life today that they may bring forth in me the fruits of holiness rather than the fruits of sin.

Let me use disappointment as material for patience;

Let me use success as material for thankfulness;

Let me use suspense as material for perseverance;

Let me use danger as material for courage;

Let me use reproach as material for longsuffering;

Let me use praise as material for humility;

Let me use pleasures as material for temperance;

Let me use pains as material for endurance.

When a given day begins, countless things are headed your way over which you have no control. It may be bad weather or someone's bad temper, a deadline that won't budge or a client equally resistant to change. The one factor you can control through it all is your attitude toward them.

Your attitude today will make all the difference in everything that matters.

Rubel Shelly

Rubel Shelly is a Preacher and Professor of Religion and Philosophy located in Rochester Hills, Michigan. In addition to church and academic responsibilities, he has worked actively with such community projects as Habitat for Humanity, American Red Cross, From Nashville With Love, Metro (Nashville) Public Schools, Faith Family Medical Clinic, and Operation Andrew Ministries. To learn more about Rubel please go to: www.RubelShelly.com

6 spiritual steps to help you cope.

A new perspective for today’s tension.

OF ALL THE THINGS that people have in common around the world, stress and suffering rank at the top of the list. Regardless of how much you make, your age, looks, culture, or job, you likely do not escape frustration and aggravation with ease - it’s a part of being on planet Earth. Fortunately, we also share the ability to rise above these things, and in many cases we can even learn to heal the stress and suffering in our lives. Spiritual traditions have long been the refuge from stress with simple techniques and philosophies that can transform daily life.

It is easy to feel that stress and suffering are unavoidable or that somehow you are doomed to face them again and again. This helpless feeling stems from the mistaken assumption that our emotions need to drive our decisions and our lives. The strong emotions that create suffering are rooted in either hurts of the past or unfulfilled expectations of the present.

A spouse, friend, or boss who talks to you the way a parent did while in a cruel or impatient mood will trigger the same old feelings, as if you were a child encountering the hurt again. If you have an expectation that people should always be polite or that airplanes should always be on time or that traffic should not be heavy when you are late, then you will consistently encounter the stress of that disappointment.

A spiritual perspective says that emotions like anger, anxiety, and sadness are normal and need to be felt, but when it comes to making decisions and taking action, we need to look deeper. It is possible to be less driven by old hurts and release the tight grip on unrealistic expectations. Learning about the power of perception and the mind-body connection can turn everything around. Here are six timeless techniques for managing or ending stress and suffering.

  • Breathe. When stress rises, the body moves in to a reaction mode: the body tightens, the mind races, and it is hard to gain a better perspective. Try taking some deep breaths. Breathe in through the nose, and instead of puffing your chest out, try imagining that you are sending the breath into your belly – push your stomach muscles out.  Then, notice where you are tense or tight, and imagine you are breathing it all out your mouth, slowly and easily. When you are in a difficult moment, take at least 2 full minutes to be with your breath.
  • Stick to the Facts. One way we create our experience of stress and suffering is through emotional ideas like worry and regret. Instead of keeping our attention in the present moment and focusing on the limited truth we know for certain, too often we spend our energy on worrying about things that haven’t happened, or we dwell on the past we regret. Remember, “sticking to the facts” doesn’t include judgments like “She’s wrong” or “He’s a fool” or “What if I lose my job?” Those are emotional ideas, not facts.
  • Forgive. The cornerstone of most spiritual philosophies lies in learning to forgive. Forgiveness does not mean that you pretend you are not hurt by someone or something, nor does it mean you condone a cruel or harmful act. Forgiveness does mean that you are committed to letting go of the energy, stories, and actions you have become caught up in.  Forgiveness means that you are committed to letting go and moving on. It doesn’t start with a feeling; it starts with a decision. Start by changing the way you act and think, and then, eventually, the feelings will follow.
  • Learn from Everything. Another common spiritual perspective that transforms hard times is to look for the lesson in each situation life presents. Even the most unpleasant and unexpected situations can offer you a great chance to learn what to do better next time or what to avoid or heal in your life. This is about the power of optimism and the ability to take a disappointment and turn it into something that makes you a better person.
    Failed relationships can teach you things like the importance of having clear boundaries, the importance of good communication, the importance of trust, or how to let go of self-doubt. A loss of work can open a door to find new opportunities, refine your focus on what gives you joy, or show you where you have things to improve.
  • Set Inner Intentions. One of the biggest hooks that catches most people in life is attachment to outer goals and desires. Spiritual  traditions have long been warning people about how dangerous it is to place all your hopes and intentions on wealth, sex, beauty, a dream house, and clothing. These things come and go and are based on things we cannot always control. Even the most wealthy find that possessions can be taken away at a moment’s notice, and the desires of life often go unfulfilled.
  • Commit to a Spiritual Practice. A spiritual practice is a regular time out from life to do something that helps you to feel at peace, learn about yourself, and connect to a sense of what is important. It is a time apart from stress and helps put pain and loss in perspective. It could be taking a daily walk in nature (without cell phone), meditation before work, prayer before bed, yoga, Tai Chi, bible study, volunteering at the hospital, or working in a garden. The key is to make it regular, intentional, and a non-competitive, non-work related activity. It should last long enough that you get a real break from the rush and demands of life.

 

 

Author:  Jonathan Ellerby, Ph.D., has dedicated more than 20 years of his life to the personal, professional, and academic exploration of spirituality, healing, and consciousness.   This article was published at You can Heal Your Life