It's so cold ...

It's colder than a gold digger's heart.

It's colder than Jack Frost's toes after he skates on an icy pond.

It's colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg.

It's so cold the dogs are sticking to the fire hydrants.

It's colder than a witch's belt buckle.

It's colder than a day-old dumpling.

It's colder than skinny dipping in a snow storm.