Tag Archive for: attitude

 

 
The start to a better world, a better job, a better relationship, or a better future is our belief that it is possible. The quotations in the Believe gift book are inspiring and affirming—and truly timely today. This book reminds us that the future really does belong to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Give the Believe book with confidence—because any time is a good time to remind your loved ones to believe in their dreams...to believe that the best is yet to be...to believe that there’s light at the end of the tunnel...to believe that they might be that light for someone else.

 

  • Hardcover with dust jacket 
  • 6.25” H x 9.25” W 
  • 64 pages           

 

5000 years ago, a set of books known as "The Pentateuch" called it "zeal." 2000 years ago, another set of books known as "The Bible" called it "faith." 70 years ago, clergyman Norman Vincent Peale called it "positive thinking." 20 years ago, psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman called it "learned optimism." Two years ago, professor Shawn Achor called it the "happiness advantage."

But when you do a Google search on these terms, most people seem to lump them together and simply refer to them as "attitude," "positive attitude," or "positive thinking." There seems to be a general feeling ... that whatever you call it ... these terms have a lot to do with success in life and success at work. And they're absolutely right. As Achor writes, "Recent discoveries in the field of positive psychology have shown that ... when we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, and productive at work." The fact is ...

If you're not a positive thinker, if you don't have a positive attitude, you're in trouble. 

Without this quality or passion, life and work become quite drab. Most everything becomes a "have to" instead of a "get to." For example, the person who doesn't have a positive attitude says such things as: "I have to go to work today ... I have to call on another customer ... I have to clean the house ... or ... I have to pay my taxes."


By contrast, a person of passion says, "I get to go to work today," because he knows that work is so much better than not having any work. A person of passion says, "I get to help another customer," because she knows without her customers she wouldn't have a business. A person of passion says, "I get to clean my house," because he is thankful to have a place to live. And a person of passion says, "I get to pay my taxes," because she is grateful that she makes enough money to even qualify as a tax-paying citizen.

The truth is, if you're not a positive thinker, if you don't have a positive attitude, NOTHING can make up for it.

Education can't. According to historians, some of America's worst presidents were supposedly the smartest and best educated. And some of the greatest Presidents, such as Abraham Lincoln, had very little formal education. A resume may get you through the door, but that's as far as it will get you.
Talent can't. The world is filled with talented people who never achieve personal or professional success. Watch a season or two of "American Idol" or "America's Got Talent" and you'll know what I mean. Talent that isn't fueled by the proper attitude tends to fizzle out before the race is over.
 
Opportunity can't. An opportunity may open a door for you, but without positive thinking you won't make the most of your opportunity. In fact, it may never come to life. As professor Howard Hendricks said, "You don't put live eggs under dead chickens." But that's exactly what negative thinkers do.
Other people can't. It is very difficult to be successful without the help of other people ... or at least be surrounded by the right kind of people. But even that won't guarantee your success. A team with no heart ... no attitude ... and no passion ... will not go very far.
 
There simply is no substitute for a positive attitude. It keeps you going when others quit. It releases an abundance of energy ... an energy you don't even know you have ... and gets you through the toughest times. As novelist Karen Traviss puts it, "Faith keeps you going when there's no logical reason to. In its way, it keeps life going."
 

Bottom line? A positive attitude is the difference maker. So how can you get this difference maker in your life and in your work? Here are a few tips I recommend...





1. Keep your attitude stimulated. 

You may know some people who say they've lost their interest in life. Not much if anything turns them on anymore. It's just another day and another dollar. Chances are they're doing very little to stimulate their attitude.


Other people think they've grown past the enthusiasms of their youth. They're too old to maintain a positive attitude. Or they just don't feel all that well. But chances are, once again, they're doing very little to stimulate their attitude.

In reality, a positive attitude has no connection to age. At the age of 76, General Douglas MacArthur said, "You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. In the central place of every heart, there is a recording chamber; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer and courage; so long as you are young. When the wires are all down and your heart is covered with snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then and only then are you grown old."

Your attitude acts very much like a muscle. If you don't stimulate or exercise a muscle, it atrophies. It weakens and eventually dies. And the same goes for your attitude. If you don't stimulate it, it dries up.

If, on the other hand, you keep an active interest in life, you will maintain a powerful, effective, happiness-inducing positive attitude. I found that to be true with my Grandma Grace. Whenever I went to visit her, I would always ask if she'd like to get out, take a ride, go somewhere, see something, or do something ... because I knew she was confined to her apartment, due to her age and physical limitations. Invariably, her response would be "No, I'm not feeling that well ... or ... No, I don't really want to go anywhere."

However, with a bit of persuasion, I always got her in the car, and her attitude changed almost instantly. She wanted to see as much as possible and didn't want to miss a thing. I even persuaded her to accompany me on a trip to Norway at age 88, despite the fact she used a walker to get around. Her passion for life began to soar, and with her renewed interest in life and her positive thinking on the rise, she spent the entire trip walking without her walker.

To keep your attitude positive, keep your attitude stimulated. Keep on learning about the world, the people, and things outside of yourself. Get in the habit of looking forward to each day, wondering what new adventure will come your way.

And then...

2. Let your attitude play make believe. 

I know; it sounds childish. But the most successful people use this technique and swear by this technique.


Muhammad Ali, the world champion boxer, says, "To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. It you're not, pretend you are."

And Donald Trump, the world champion real estate developer, tells people, "Even if you haven't encountered great success yet, there is no reason you can't bluff a little and act like you have. Confidence is a magnet in the best sense of the word. It will draw people to you and make your daily life, and theirs, a lot more pleasant."

So I advise you, picture yourself as being competent, effective, and successful. Hold that image firmly in your mind and do not let any self-doubt erase it. Soon, your mental picture will become your new reality.
You can do that if you...





3. Tie your attitude to a long-term value rather than a short-term emotion.

When I'm speaking to salespeople, I often tell them to "act" their way through a tough situation. If they're in the midst of a sales presentation on a late Friday afternoon, for example, and don't feel enthusiastic, they still need to "act" enthusiastic. They need to "act" like this is the most important sale of the week.

Of course, someone in the audience will always say, "Are you asking us to fake it? You just told us to be honest, sincere, and genuine in all our dealings with our customers. And now you're telling us to 'act' enthusiastic whether or not we feel that way. I don't get it. There's seems to some kind of contradiction going on here."

No there isn't. There's no contradiction whatsoever ... if you tie your attitude to a deeply-held commitment rather than a passing emotion.

It's what one clergyman had to learn. He wrestled with how he could stand in front of his congregation and speak about peace, joy, love, hope, and faith when he didn't feel very enthusiastic at the moment he was speaking about those things. He didn't feel authentic. And yet he realized, if he yielded to his immediate feelings, if he let his sagging emotions influence his professional conduct, he could not inspire or motivate the people he was called to serve.

The clergyman resolved his supposed "contradiction" by making an authentic choice. He chose to adhere to his calling rather than his personal emotions. He tied his attitude to something bigger and more important than his momentary feelings.

You need to do the same thing ... whatever line of work you may be in. To get and keep a positive attitude, tie your attitude to a long-term value. If you're in sales, tie your positive attitude to the quality of your product and the way it helps your customers. If you're in leadership, tie your positive attitude to your belief in growing people. Tie your attitude to doing what is right and good, no matter what job you have. That way you can "act" genuinely enthusiastic and "be" thoroughly positive ... no matter what you're feeling.



Finally,

3. Cancel any negative thoughts that interfere with your attitude.

Getting and keeping a positive attitude is a not a once-and-for all proposition. It takes daily practice ... but fortunately less and less practice as you master these skills.


Nonetheless, you still need to deal with the negative thoughts that come into your mind. Cancel them out. As Dr. Norman Vincent Peale taught, "Whenever a negative thought about yourself and your abilities comes to mind, immediately cancel it out as unworthy, untrue, and unrealistic. The more vigorously you cancel it out, the weaker it becomes, until it disappears altogether."

Don't give your negative thoughts too much attention. And don't put yourself down as being too small or too weak. As Bette Reese notes, "If you think you're too small to be effective, you've never been in bed with a mosquito."

Willie Nelson is right. Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones and you'll start getting positive results.

Action:

Select two long-term values that are deeply held by you and tie your attitude to them.


As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman has taught more than one million people in 48 states and 22 countries how to keep a positive attitude on and off the job. In his book, PIVOT: HowOne Turn In Attitude Can Lead To Success, Dr. Zimmerman outlines the exact steps you must take to get the results you want in any situation. Go to Alan's site for a Free Sneak Preview.

It's a wise custom to end an old year and begin a new one with serious self-reflection. 

What did you learn this year that could improve your life and make you a wiser and better person?

 



If you want to have a successful and fulfilling New year, start by examining the way you think and feel about your job, your relationships, and yourself. After all, the single most important factor in personal happiness and your impact on others is your attitude.

In the geometry of life, the axiom is "positive attitudes produce positive results." They make success more likely, failures less harmful, pleasures more frequent, and pain more bearable. Some people tend to bring warm sunshine wherever they go; others bring cold chills. What do you bring?

To find out where you can improve, take an inventory of your predispositions, the attitude you're most likely to start with:

Are you generally optimistic or pessimistic?

Do you tend to assume the best or expect the worst of people?

Is your first instinct to be empathetic or judgmental?

Is your first instinct to be supportive or critical?

Do you send the message that you enjoy life or that you're barely enduring it?

Do you come across as the captain of your own ship or simply a passenger?

Wherever you are on the positive-attitude spectrum, think how much better things could be if you were more consistently and self-consciously optimistic, empathetic, supportive, grateful, enthusiastic, hopeful, and cheerful.

So why not resolve to think, act, and speak more positively about yourself, your family, your coworkers, and everyone else in your life?

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.


Michael Josephson
www.charactercounts.org

Pivotal resilience - road

 

As you may have heard in that old but great movie Forest Gump, life can be like a box of chocolates. There are different flavours. You may not like all the chocolates in the box but you don't throw the box away, you decide what you would like to have.

There are a number of words to describe what happens when the result you want doesn't turn out the way you expect. Although the words "failure" and "obstacle" are often used, is that really what it is or could you look at it differently and use it as an experience to learn from?

There are bumps in the road of life for everyone. Nothing is absolutely perfect so it's important to your own well being to discover ways to handle any kind of setback if it happens. If there are no plans in place, fears creep in, overwhelm pops up it's head and stress takes over.

If everything was always smooth sailing you would not be very well equipped to deal with anything in life, especially when the outcome doesn't turn out the way you expected. The first rough patch and you would probably be carried off in a strait jacket.

Have you ever seen the hands of a construction worker? The palms are often thick areas of skin from working with equipment. Those calluses form so that next time his hands will be better prepared for the work.

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...the basic difference between an ordinary man and a Warrior is that a Warrior takes everything as a challenge ~ whereas an ordinary man takes everything as a curse or a blessing 

--don juan

In love and life we find ourselves in many different types of relationships. We have friendships, family, co-workers, supervisors, neighbors, lovers, partners, etc. The one thing in common is that within each and everyone of these relationships we have likes and dislikes. But the one thing that determines this common aspect is "expectations". What would happen to our relationships if we eliminated expectations all together? If we had no expectations of the people we have relationships with we would never have pain or disappointment.

In our minds we have created an unconscious set of expectations that we place on all humans be it if we are in a relationship with them or not. If we eliminated those expectations and had compassion for people as they are we would never experience disappointment in them. If we have no expectations of others we have take the first step to understanding unconditional love. The key to bringing happiness, joy, and love into our lives and experiencing it at every moment of every day is as easy as eliminating the expectations you hold on other people.

In our daily lives we become easily frustrated and angry at the way people drive when we are out on the roads. Why do we do feel this way? We already know that not everyone is a good driver, we already know some drivers are very inconsiderate, and we already know that there will be at the very minimum at least one accident a day on our city streets. So why do we have the expectation that when we go out and drive that every person needs to be a perfect driver? Yes it is important to be safe because lives are at risk everyday but we already know it as a fact that everyone isn't a good driver, and not all drivers are considerate, and that there are accidents everyday. If we want to make our driving experience less stressful and remain happier people we need to stop expecting that every person on the road be a perfect driver because it just isn't reality.

Children are not perfect and do things to upset us all the time. When they get bad grades we still kiss them and tuck them in at night and make them feel safe. We understand that they are children and they are not perfect and we love them anyway. Our pets and animals do not speak the same language as use and often anger us and frustrate us because they did not listen to our rules or they ruined something that belonged to us. When we see them at the end of the day we still love them and feed them and understand that they are animals and meant no real harm.

So why can't we have this understanding with every other relationship in the world? Why can't we understand that the clerk at the grocery store is a human too and that she may be having a bad day because her boss was rude to her, and her boss may have had someone cut them off on the road right before they got to work? Why can't we understand that our husband, girlfriend, mother, or neighbor are human and make mistakes too? Why do we place such great expectations on people to be something they are not? People are not perfect and always kind. People get crabby when they are mistreated or disrespected. People have bad days they have the right to be upset. So why do we have such high expectations?

When we are single and out looking for a mate do you find yourself turning someone away because they do not fit one of your expectations. Maybe you think men should always open the door for you, or maybe you think if a woman is dressed a certain way she isn't good enough to be your partner? It is all because of expectations and all expectations do are make you unhappy!

Imagine life for one hour out of our day where you had no expectations of anyone! If you are able to envision this you should be able to feel great happiness all around you. If you can eliminate expectations you can begin to understand how to have compassion for other humans in life and you are able to experience the true miracle of unconditional love. Unconditional love does not exist in a life of expectations so take some time to recognize when expectations begin to control you and release them for a much more pleasant experience in life true unconditional love.

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Author: Lori Silva. Lori Marie is a writer, professional astrologer, and Usui Reiki healer. Lori Marie created A Wise Soul Once Said...as a place for readers to reflect upon life issues on their path through personal self transformation. Life is not always easy but the universe has a way of putting just the right things in our path to push us a head a little further.

 

Has it been a really busy few weeks for you too?

It has been hectic for me.

It has been a fortnight of back to back meetings, delivering several presentations, conducting telephone coaching, making time with my wife (who is pregnant with child number 3) and playing with my other two boys, exercising, returning emails...and that's just in the mornings!

By midweek, I'm looking for the 'emergency stop' button!

It is easy to get yourself overloaded and overwhelmed when there is a lot happening in your life.
I'm sure you know this feeling - like there is a never ending list of things to get done in your life.

It can wear you down...if you let it.

...it all depends on what you focus on.

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"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition."

Martha Washington