Tag Archive for: confidence

,

Your Inner Critic

From Rober Schwartz

We all have an inner critic living inside us who speaks up at times, in varying degrees, negatively evaluating our own actions and those of others. As facilitators and coaches we have many opportunities to deal with our inner critic. We might doubt or judge ourselves harshly about how we dealt with a client or facilitated a group. Our critical voice often results from early shaming or humiliating, and fear-based experiences. We internalize these negative critical messages about ourselves and replay them in our minds. The inner critic evolves as a coping strategy in response to these early experiences.

The bottom line is when our inner critic rears its head, our experience is painful and distracting. However, by addressing our inner critic, we can develop our compassion for others and ourselves.

Compassion is the antidote to the inner critic. Though it may seem counter-intuitive, the critical part of us is actually our ally. When the inner critic arises, we can listen and make a choice about how much power and attention we will give that part of ourselves. We can also identify any useful, valid information our inner critic may have for us. Gradually, by paying attention to our inner critic in this way, its strength diminishes because we can more quickly move through the cycle of acknowledging, choosing and then releasing that part of ourselves. Each time we hear our inner critic’s voice, we can acknowledge it and make a choice for compassion. By doing this we can:

  • recognize that many of our judgments are high-level inferences and assumptions
  • choose to shift our behavior from fear-based unilateral control to mutual learning
  • Develop our compassion and take responsibility for our actions, laying less blame on others
  • Deepen our compassion for others

As we begin befriending our inner critic, we can use our interventions with others to help them enter the same process.

One approach that I practice and share with my clients is to address the inner critic by giving it a form. One of our Facilitative Coaching workshop participants found that she could address her inner critic by creating it out of clay and making it an armchair. She said, “If I give my inner critic a comfortable place to sit than it won’t want to bother me.” Her creation was in response to an exercise about dealing with the inner critic. By doing this she offered compassion to herself and her inner critic. As a result she felt freer to express herself during the workshop and be present to learn.

Written and edited by Dale Schwartz, copyright Roger Schwartz and Associates

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The 6 strongest speaker statements

Want to look confident? Want to hold your audience's attention? Want to make your point stick? You can do all the tricks and tropes out there, but these six phrases, in my experience, almost always grip the listener, make the speaker look strong, save her from a world of trouble, and invite real connection with your audience. Keep these in your back pocket for a stronger speech:
http://eloquentwoman.blogspot.com/2009/09/6-strongest-speaker-statements.html

What is your greatest fear?

Phobias are intense, persistent fears.

They hold us back from truly experiencing life – and keep us trapped in a sense of fear and worry.

You may fear darkness. Crowds. Car travel. Flying. Public speaking. Sexual performance. Exams. Terrorist attacks. Violence. Cancer. Dentists. Being alone. Spiders. Snakes. Rats.

You may even suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Whatever phobias you have, they’re stopping you from moving forward.

They’re keeping you trapped in fear – and ensuring you NEVER enjoy the true potential of your life.

Does that sound like you? Are there things that make YOUR heart flutter – from speaking in front of your work colleagues, to nasty big black spiders in your bed, to shocking memories from the past?

Would YOU like to become fearless – and suddenly be totally happy and accepting of those things, no longer worrying and panicking when those situations came up?

Would YOU feel happier if you didn’t “lose control” every time your issue occurred – and instead GAINED control, and handled the situation perfectly?

Would YOU like to release your fears and phobias – within just minutes?

Read on – to learn more about why phobias exist, and how to cure them.

https://www.consultpivotal.com/A10minutecure.htm

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Why You Need to Develop Courage to Live Beyond Your Personal Edge

By Nickolove Lovemore

Some people spend most of their lives within their comfort zone and so limit the success they achieve. For whatever reason they're afraid to go beyond their personal edge.

A friend recently admitted that although they didn't like their job, they stuck at it because "it paid the bills". Now while paying the bills is important, it's also important that we lead fulfilled lives.

When you don't live life out full you are not only depriving yourself of a happier and more abundant life, you are also depriving the world of a person who is imparting their unique gift to the world. We all have a special contribution to make to the world and it's something that you can't delegate. If you don't fulfil your role then no one else can do it for you.

But when I asked this person what they really wanted to do they said that they didn't know. The thing is this person is not alone in this regard. Many people say that they don't know what they truly want to do with their lives and so they just drift along feeling unfulfilled and disempowered to make the impact that they could be making.

The reality is though that these individuals do know what they want even when they think they don't. The answer lies within and this is one reason why it's important to get to know you. Self-knowledge or self-discovery is empowering.

"How can I know what I want when I don't know who I am? The inner knowledge must be there to support the outer action."

It's funny how so many people are literally afraid to search within themselves for answers to questions that could literally transform their lives. You would think that your inner self is one of the safest places within which to search. Instead, people tend to search outside, knowing their search will be futile.

And the reason why so many people do this is because if they do identify what it is they really want then they would feel obligated to take action to achieve what they've identified. And they're fearful that if they do this that they might not succeed.

The irony is that their inaction automatically means that they fail. It's like with certain sporting competitions when it's your turn and the clock starts ticking you've a limited amount of time to make your move or else you're disqualified. Plus, by not taking action they don't give themselves the opportunity to succeed. However, Wealth and Lifestyle Strategist, Christopher Howard believes:

"The quicker you can make the decision about what you want your life to be about the more success you're going to have."

And that makes perfect sense when you think about it. People shy away from going after their dreams because they think it will be too hard, too difficult. Yet, you are never more alive than when you are living on the edge. And by this I'm not referring to adrenaline-type sports, although for some this is applicable, I mean living at the edge of your comfort zone - your personal edge.

Your willingness to reside at the boundary of your personal edge is in direct proportion to the rate and extent of your personal growth. You have to learn how to step beyond your personal edge in order to create change in your life and you have to be prepared to do so time and time again. And, when you do so, you will grow, you will achieve greater success and you will start to live a most extraordinary life.

For a FREE Success Book and weekly tips on achieving success send an email toSuccess Achievers Club.

How To Explode Your Confidence Beyond Belief

If you are not one hundred percent satisfied with the current status of your life as it is right now in terms of anything including relationships, finances, career, parenting, etc. there is only one thing that you need to assess and that's your decision making process.
You see, our lives are shaped by our experiences and all experiences are the result of a decision.
If you decide to touch a burning stove, the result will be that you get burned. If you decide to jump in a pool of water, the result will be that you get wet.
Sometimes however, the result that we experience from a decision isn't so clearly visible prior to making that decision.
In other words, we think that by making a certain decision, we will achieve a certain result but somehow that result turns into something else. And that's when things get tricky.
And this is why if areas of your life aren't moving along as planned, you must assess your decision making process.
Decisions are driven by two things; the confidence in one's ability to achieve a certain result and more importantly, emotions.
The reason why I say "more importantly" is because emotions ultimately guide every decision and will always override one's confidence.
For example, if you decide that it's time to lose weight or quit smoking, you can have all the confidence in the world in your ability to achieve those goals but if your emotions point you in the opposite direction, you will ultimately never achieve those goals.
Therefore, to truly enhance any areas of your life, you must work
on both your confidence and your emotions.
Steve G. Jones is a clinical hypnotherapist who has been practicing hypnotherapy for over 20 years and has worked with the likes of just about anyone ranging from regular everyday folks to high profile celebrities.
In fact, pretty soon he will have his own television show called  "The Celebrity Hypnotist."
Steve also has the largest collection of hypnosis recordings on the planet and is well respected in his field. Some time ago, Steve realized that while he was helping improve various areas of people's lives using the power of hypnosis on a subconscious level, that working on someone's confidence was a must no matter what.
It's almost like a prerequisite for true transformation. The only problem was that people would have to fly to his Savannah office for the hypnosis session and pay a pretty penny to do so.
Steve decided to create a program that would equip any person with the ability to build confidence using hypnosis right in the privacy of their own homes, which would make it much more convenient and affordable.
And so he did just that. The only problem; it was missing something.
While Steve's program was in fact ultra effective at building confidence, it didn't focus on emotions on any level.
Knowing that the only true way to deal with one's emotions is through Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT for short, Steve knew he had to incorporate the principles of EFT into his program.
But Steve is an expert in hypnosis, not EFT.
So what did he do? He decided to enlist the the help of a man who is arguably the world's foremost EFT expert......Brad Yates.
While it certainly was no easy task (it took nearly a year), Steve finally did track Brad down and got him to join forces with him to create what is perhaps the most powerful formula for building confidence known to man.
Introducing Confidence Beyond Belief by Steve G. Jones, M.Ed. and Brad Yates.
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"Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face."

Helen Keller

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Become unstoppable

You probably already know that the most successful people have incredible levels of self-confidence. They have accomplished great levels of success and happiness in their lives and seem to be unstoppable in everything that they do.
The fact is, that when you develop unshakable self-confidence your whole world will change for the better.

"Build Rock Solid Self-Confidence and Achieve All of Your Goals"

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It's the thought that counts

: the role of hostile cognition

People who feel socially rejected are more likely to see others’ actions as hostile and are more likely to behave in hurtful ways toward people they have never even met, according to a new study. http://adjix.com/4y9m

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Put your ambitions and desires into action

You probably already know that the most successful people have incredible levels of self-confidence. They have accomplished great levels of success and happiness in their lives and seem to be unstoppable in everything that they do.The fact is, that when you develop unshakable self-confidence your whole world will change for the better.

Unfortunately, through years of life experience, our beacon which is located inside all of us, begins to loose strength. For some reason or another we forget how truly powerful we are.

We lack the Self-Confidence to put our ambitions and desires into action!

Do not live one more day with these limiting thoughts and beliefs. You have the power to take control of your life. You have complete artistic creativity. Whatever you can imagine, you can bring into your reality.

Brian Tracy's The Science of Self- Confidence Training Kit contains the proven secrets possessed by every successful person in the world.

"Build Rock Solid Self-Confidence and Achieve All of Your Goals"

You will receive:

The Science of Self-Confidence

The Science of Self-Confidence
(6 CD Program)
By using the ideas in The Science of Self-Confidence, everything becomes possible. Your belief in your ability to succeed in all areas of life becomes unshakable. Your life will never be the same, once you learn to practice The Science of Self-Confidence

The Science of Positive Focus

The Science of Positive Focus
(2 Hour DVD Program)
Would you like to know how you can stay positive, energized, and powerful? In my 2 hour DVD I teach you how to defeat negativity. I teach you how positive focus can create the life that you want!

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life (60-minute CD)
Change the way you think about yourself and your potential. Open new doors to unlimited possibilities and put yourself on the road to a better, more fulfilling professional and personal life. This 60 minute CD will show you how to take charge of your life, become wealthy, and achieve every goal you set for yourself!


The Science of Self-Confidence Training Kit

***BRIAN TRACY'S TIP OF THE WEEK***

An excerpt from Brian Tracy's Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life:

The Great Truth:

"You can learn anything you need to learn, to accomplish any goal you can set for yourself." This principle offers a way for you to take complete control over your future. When I was young and struggling, failing and frustrated, this principle came along to change my life.

Generally speaking, no one is smarter than you, and no one is better than you. Just because someone is doing better than you doesn't mean that he is better than you. It usually means that he has just learned how to succeed in his particular field before you have. And whatever someone else has done, you can probably do as well.

This is not an easy rule, but it is definitely simple. You, too, can learn anything you need to learn to accomplish any goal you can set for yourself.

Once I learned this idea, I was unafraid to change jobs, and even industries. I learned how to sell advertising, investments, automobiles, and office supplies. I worked in real estate sales and leasing, and then real estate development. Then I engaged in importation and distribution, then banking, printing, consulting, and eventually speaking, writing, recording, and corporate training.

******

Resolve today to make 2009 your highest achieving year - get Rock-Solid confidence >

Develop the confidence to achieve your goals

You probably already know that the most successful people have incredible levels of self-confidence. They have accomplished great levels of success and happiness in their lives and seem to be unstoppable in everything that they do.The fact is, that when you develop unshakable self-confidence your whole world will change for the better.

Unfortunately, through years of life experience, our beacon which is located inside all of us, begins to loose strength. For some reason or another we forget how truly powerful we are.

We lack the Self-Confidence to put our ambitions and desires into action!

Do not live one more day with these limiting thoughts and beliefs. You have the power to take control of your life. You have complete artistic creativity. Whatever you can imagine, you can bring into your reality.

Brian Tracy's The Science of Self- Confidence Training Kit contains the proven secrets possessed by every successful person in the world.

"Build Rock Solid Self-Confidence and Achieve All of Your Goals"

You will receive:

The Science of Self-Confidence

 The Science of Self-Confidence
(6 CD Program)
By using the ideas in The Science of Self-Confidence, everything becomes possible. Your belief in your ability to succeed in all areas of life becomes unshakable. Your life will never be the same, once you learn to practice The Science of Self-Confidence.

The Science of Positive Focus

 The Science of Positive Focus
(2 Hour DVD Program)
Would you like to know how you can stay positive, energized, and powerful? In my 2 hour DVD I teach you how to defeat negativity. I teach you how positive focus can create the life that you want!

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

 Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life (60-minute CD)
Change the way you think about yourself and your potential. Open new doors to unlimited possibilities and put yourself on the road to a better, more fulfilling professional and personal life. This 60 minute CD will show you how to take charge of your life, become wealthy, and achieve every goal you set for yourself!


The Science of Self-Confidence Training Kit

***BRIAN TRACY'S TIP OF THE WEEK***

An excerpt from Brian Tracy's Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life:

The Great Truth:

"You can learn anything you need to learn, to accomplish any goal you can set for yourself." This principle offers a way for you to take complete control over your future. When I was young and struggling, failing and frustrated, this principle came along to change my life.

Generally speaking, no one is smarter than you, and no one is better than you. Just because someone is doing better than you doesn't mean that he is better than you. It usually means that he has just learned how to succeed in his particular field before you have. And whatever someone else has done, you can probably do as well.

This is not an easy rule, but it is definitely simple. You, too, can learn anything you need to learn to accomplish any goal you can set for yourself.

Once I learned this idea, I was unafraid to change jobs, and even industries. I learned how to sell advertising, investments, automobiles, and office supplies. I worked in real estate sales and leasing, and then real estate development. Then I engaged in importation and distribution, then banking, printing, consulting, and eventually speaking, writing, recording, and corporate training.

******

Resolve today to make 2008 your highest achieving year - get Rock-Solid confidence

Develop the confidence to achieve your goals

You probably already know that the most successful people have incredible levels of self-confidence. They have accomplished great levels of success and happiness in their lives and seem to be unstoppable in everything that they do.The fact is, that when you develop unshakable self-confidence your whole world will change for the better.Unfortunately, through years of life experience, our beacon which is located inside all of us, begins to loose strength. For some reason or another we forget how truly powerful we are.

We lack the Self-Confidence to put our ambitions and desires into action!

Do not live one more day with these limiting thoughts and beliefs. You have the power to take control of your life. You have complete artistic creativity. Whatever you can imagine, you can bring into your reality.

Brian Tracy's The Science of Self- Confidence Training Kit contains the proven secrets possessed by every successful person in the world.

"Build Rock Solid Self-Confidence and Achieve All of Your Goals"

You will receive:

The Science of Self-Confidence

 The Science of Self-Confidence
(6 CD Program)
By using the ideas in The Science of Self-Confidence, everything becomes possible. Your belief in your ability to succeed in all areas of life becomes unshakable. Your life will never be the same, once you learn to practice The Science of Self-Confidence.

The Science of Positive Focus

 The Science of Positive Focus
(2 Hour DVD Program)
Would you like to know how you can stay positive, energized, and powerful? In my 2 hour DVD I teach you how to defeat negativity. I teach you how positive focus can create the life that you want!

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

 Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life (60-minute CD)
Change the way you think about yourself and your potential. Open new doors to unlimited possibilities and put yourself on the road to a better, more fulfilling professional and personal life. This 60 minute CD will show you how to take charge of your life, become wealthy, and achieve every goal you set for yourself!


The Science of Self-Confidence Training Kit

***BRIAN TRACY'S TIP OF THE WEEK***

An excerpt from Brian Tracy's Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life:

The Great Truth:

"You can learn anything you need to learn, to accomplish any goal you can set for yourself." This principle offers a way for you to take complete control over your future. When I was young and struggling, failing and frustrated, this principle came along to change my life.

Generally speaking, no one is smarter than you, and no one is better than you. Just because someone is doing better than you doesn't mean that he is better than you. It usually means that he has just learned how to succeed in his particular field before you have. And whatever someone else has done, you can probably do as well.

This is not an easy rule, but it is definitely simple. You, too, can learn anything you need to learn to accomplish any goal you can set for yourself.

Once I learned this idea, I was unafraid to change jobs, and even industries. I learned how to sell advertising, investments, automobiles, and office supplies. I worked in real estate sales and leasing, and then real estate development. Then I engaged in importation and distribution, then banking, printing, consulting, and eventually speaking, writing, recording, and corporate training.

******

Resolve today to make 2008 your highest achieving year - get Rock-Solid confidence