persuasion - Pivotal

Would you let your son dive into this pool? Would a story change your mind?

I love visiting waterfalls and creeks and swimming holes in the rainforest.

There is beauty. There is peace.

But also a sense of activity as the water moves through its environment, trickling or roaring, making music of its own and changing the landscape as it goes.

This was a river, one of many, that we visited on our holiday, with all of the beauty and peace and movement. It is a popular tourist place, with facilities for visitors including beautifully maintained walks and lookouts. The river runs through huge rocks and the place is actually called “The Boulders”.

At many of the places we had visited before this one, there were swimming “holes” where people were swimming in the rivers, cold though the temperature was at the time, and other places where tour guides showed their clients how to inch across the rocks and slide safely with the water to a pool below.

It’s something that people do.

I have never swum in these water holes, but I like to see the joy and fun that people have who do.

At a lake we visited there were the usual young men daring each other to feats of daring by diving backwards with a somersault into the lake, off a pontoon.

And in watercourses all around the country on any given day, there are children swinging out over lagoons and waterholes on an old tyre attached to a rope and jumping off into the water.

And all around the country, in any given year there will be accidents – people who want that fun, carefree joy and challenge – but who dive into shallow water or land on something submerged in the water.

There are people absolutely incapacitated because of such accidents or even worse.

In many places there are signs, just like this one …

and on the whole, people abide by them. Not always.

If I were a young man (or woman, though it seems to be young men who are more tempted), would I abide by them?

If I were a young man’s mother, would I want him to abide by them? I know the temptation is strong for the fun, carefree joy and challenge, and I know it is not always resisted.

But at The Boulders, the signs were different. And here’s where the story comes in.

I had never ever before seen a sign that said “Many people have died here”, and it was repeated on signs throughout the area.

People have died here.

That is a four word story.

I like to think it would have more impact than the standard sign.

If you were a young man (or woman), would you be more likely to abide by the rule?

If you were a young man’s parent or friend, would you be more likely to persuade him? I would like to think so.

I know as a mother … I would.

I was caught by this thought every time we passed such a sign.

But then when we walked out of the rainforest into the car park, I noticed this plaque on a rock.

Did he dive … and die?

Perhaps not, but if the story is that he did, imagine his mother, his father, his friends, his family, his community and how they felt when he did not return – forever – just because of that daredevil impulse.

That is a heartrending story of a young man who did not live out his life as he could have and whose death must have caused waves and years of anguish.

If you were a young man (or woman), would you be more likely to abide by the rule … knowing that story?

If you were a young man’s parent or friend, would you be more likely to persuade him?

I would like to think so.

I know as a mother … I would.

Public speaking

Make Them Feel it

“People will forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” (Maya Angelou)

Truer words in speaking have never been said.
ls & whistles. We even saw some sleek exteriors as well. But we still settled on the Lexus.

And honestly, we bought it for the "L". The little "L" piece of metal that adorns the trunk and centre of the steering wheel.

Why? Because we buy with emotion and justify with logic.

Sure we saw more reasonably priced cars. But Lexus equals a bit more luxury, a bit more status, and a bit more class than the other cars we saw. And that's why we bought it. But we tell people, "we got a good deal", or "it drives better than the other cars" or some other reason that, although it's probably true, it's not why we bought the car.

My wife loves the car because of how it makes her FEEL. She loves sitting in the heated leather seats. She loves the push button start and the low hum of the engine. She loves cruising on the highway and feeling the smooth power of the vehicle.

Emotion is why we buy.
Emotion is also why we listen.

When you speak, you had better evoke some emotion out of your audience. Otherwise you WILL be forgotten after your speech is over. Maybe even before.

Make your audience do one of three things, and they will remember you long after you have finished speaking. Make them do all 3, and you will be far ahead of most speakers.

1) Make them LAUGH

I start with this one due to personal reasons. I love giving inspirational speeches. I literally get goosebumps when I get to the main message within my speech. I remember going to a conference and a speaker taught a breakout session on how to speak. He said that he gave motivational speeches, and that humor "wasn't his thing". I remember nodding thinking, "Yup! That's me! I'm a motivational guy, not a funny guy." I couldn't have been more misguided. The truth is this - If eyes are the window to the soul, laughter is the gateway. Comedian Steve Harvey once said that his mentor Bill Cosby told him that when you get people to laugh, you have their undivided attention. And when you have someone's undivided attention, you have the ability to affect them and make a positive impact on their lives. Once I learned that, I made it a point to uncover and add humor EVERY time I speak, regardless of topic. If you want to impact your audience,add excitement to every speech, and have audiences asking to hear more of you, you should do the same.

Steal the Show: From Speeches to Job Interviews to Deal-Closing Pitches, How to Guarantee a Standing Ovation for All the Performances

A powerful way to master every performance in your career and life, from presentations and sales pitches to interviews and tough conversations, drawing on the methods the author applied as a working actor and has honed over a decade of coaching salespeople, marketers, managers, and business owners

Every day there are moments when you must persuade, inform, and motivate others effectively. Each of those moments requires you, in some way, to play a role, to heighten the impact of your words, and to manage your emotions and nerves. Every interaction is a performance, whether you're speaking up in a meeting, pitching a client, or walking into a job interview.

In Steal the Show, New York Times best-selling author Michael Port draws on his experience as an actor and as a highly successful corporate speaker and trainer to teach readers how to make the most of every presentation and interaction. He demonstrates how the methods of successful actors can help you connect with, inspire, and persuade any audience. His key strategies for commanding an audience’s attention include developing a clear focus for every performance, making sure you engage with your listeners, and finding the best role for yourself in order to convey your message with maximum impact.

Michael Port is one of the most in-demand corporate speakers working today. His presentations are always powerful, engaging, and inspirational. And yes, audiences always give him a standing ovation.

An inspiring program full of essential advice for spotlight lovers and wallflowers alike that will teach readers how to bring any crowd to its feet.

You can buy the book from The Book Depository, or Amazon

Quotations, Quotes - public speaking

[Quotation about public speaking] Public speaking will have its place

"As long as there are human rights to be defended; as long as there are great interests to be guarded; as long as the welfare of nations is a matter for discussion so long will public speaking have it place." ~ William Jennings Bryan

Public Speaking has its place

In my current obsession with storytelling, I have discovered a Hopi Proverb which says the "Those who tell the stories rule the world."

Leaders everywhere are those who give their followers something to believe in, a narrative that explains the present and paints a future.

And leaders are not just those in government or religion.

They lead in business, they lead in our institutions, they lead in our families.

We all have the capacity to be a leader at some time.

I am only thankful that the skills of public speaking are there to give us the power to lead and to create a world with values that we can uphold.

Leadership, Success

Do You Recognize Resistance When You See It?

Do you recognise resitance when you see it?

So, I'm trying to lose some weight. And I notice that the days that I declare to myself, "No sugar today," I end up eating sugar earlier than ever. I actually forget that I have even made myself this promise...usually until just a moment after the sugar is melting from my tongue.

Can you relate? Maybe not in this area, but we all have places where we do not keep promises to ourselves. Where do you do this?

Not following through on commitments is a form of resistance. You can probably see clearly how this resistance might sabotage my efforts toward my goal.

My resistance is brilliant. It continually takes new and different forms and is quite good at disguising itself and finding new ways to outsmart me. Your resistance is brilliant, too.

Resistance will keep us from achieving what we want and need. Worse than that, resistance has the power to sending us and our businesses careening in exactly the opposite direction.

Whether you are a leader in an organization or in your own life, anytime you find yourself in a change situation, you will find resistance. If you don't, you are not looking hard enough. It is the way of things. You will resist. Your staff will resist. Your boss will resist. Your clients will resist. Potential employers will resist. Your family will resist. The higher the stakes, the more resistance you will find.

If we are not aware that resistance is at work, resistance wins. But only 100% of the time.

Your only hope of overcoming resistance is to expect it

Your only hope of overcoming resistance is to expect it. But even that isn't enough. You also have to value it and embrace it. You have to work with your resistance, not against it.

You have to get intimate with resistance. And that starts with recognizing it. Here's what you want to look for:

Obvious resistance is easy to spot:

Refusal

Arguing

Disruptive behavior The most powerful forms of resistance are usually much more subtle:

Not being available

Not getting started

Getting distracted and not completing

Offering misleading information

Bringing up other issues

Becoming very busy with something else

Getting sick

Anger

Irritation

Frustration

Confusion

Criticism

Silence

Feigning acceptance, without asking necessary questions or working out the details

Finding reasons to be removed from the task

Surfing the web

Compulsively checking your BlackBerry or iPhone

Oh yeah, and forgetting.

Which of these do you do? Which do you see the people you work with doing? Which do you see in your clients? Start noticing the signs of resistance in you and the people around you.

Remember resistance is very creative.

Next time, we'll talk about a few ways to work with your resistance.

....................................................................................................
Sharon Rich works with organizations and people approaching major change. Just look at the spectacular corporate failures of the past decade to see that talent and intelligence aren't enough to create success. Sharon helps leaders to get the specific tools, skills and perspectives they need to create successful change and make it stick. For more information and to get a complimentary copy of her article "6 WAYS LEADERS SABOTAGE CHANGE and 5 Principles Change Leaders Need Now," go tohttp://www.leadershipincorporated.com/Free_Stuff.html

Books, Writing

Your master class in the art of persuasion, taught by professors ranging from Bart Simpson to Winston Churchill.

Whether you’re an inveterate lover of language books or just want to win a lot more anger-free arguments on the page, at the podium, or over a beer, Thank You for Arguing is for you ... and I featured it at Pivotal Public Speaking >> here

Books, persuasion in public speaking, Public speaking

For when you really have to get your point across…

Thank You for Arguing is your master class in the art of persuasion, taught by professors ranging from Bart Simpson to Winston Churchill.

The time-tested secrets this book discloses include Cicero’s three-step strategy for moving an audience to action—as well as Honest Abe’s Shameless Trick of lowering an audience’s expectations by pretending to be unpolished. But it’s also replete with contemporary techniques such as politicians’ use of “code” language to appeal to specific groups and an eye-opening assortment of popular-culture dodges—including The Yoda Technique, The Belushi Paradigm, and The Eddie Haskell Ploy.

Whether you’re an inveterate lover of language books or just want to win a lot more anger-free arguments on the page, at the podium, or over a beer, Thank You for Arguing is for you. Written by one of today’s most popular language mavens, it’s warm, witty, erudite, and truly enlightening. It not only teaches you how to recognize a paralipsis and a chiasmus when you hear them, but also how to wield such handy and persuasive weapons the next time you really, really want to get your own way.

JAY HEINRICHS spent 25 years as a journalist and publishing executive before becoming a fulltime advocate for the lost art of rhetoric. Since then he's taught persuasion to Fortune 500 companies, Ivy League universities, NASA, and the Pentagon. He is also the author of "Word Hero: A Fiendishly Clever Guide to Crafting the Lines that Get Laughs, Go Viral, and Live Forever."

Buy the book

credibility in public speaking, persuasion in public speaking, Public speaking

[Quick Public Speaking Tip] Does your audience know how competent you are?

Your credibility will be built on how your audience perceives your competence, your character and your charisma.

Let's look at that first element of credibility - competence. To be seen as credible you need to be seen as competent.

Obviously you need to know your material, and know it very well. Know it so that you can answer questions that go deep into your subject. Also know your limitations and how you can refer questions to someone who is an expert.

Establish your competence right from the beginning, by ensuring your audience is aware of your credentials and experience. These can be written, very factually into your advertising material, website and brochures. They can also be written into the introduction you are given when you speak. You can also weave them into your speech, and particularly into the introduction. Bragging will not work here. Stories will, however be incredibly effective. Make sure the stories support a point you are making, and it would be good if the point is not necessarily about your competence. Use stories about your experiences, about your client successes and case studies.

Being well organised will show your competence.

Confident presentation will indicate competence. Be prepared for your presentation so that the confidence is genuine. Use eye contact to further establish your confidence and sincerity – your comfort with your subject and the act of sharing your information. Composure – emotional control - is anther facet of this. Be prepared for anything that might throw your emotional control.
Finally, use quotations, statistics and other support material from sources that are held in high regard by your audience. If you are quoting a source on health, for example, you would choose, say, the Mayo Clinic rather than, for example, Wikipedia.

Plant the seeds of your credibility throughout your speech or presentation. Establish your competence, and you will have established a foundation for successfully persuading your audience to act, be or think in the way you wanted.

persuasion in public speaking, power of words, Public speaking

Words – the powerful persuasive potion

“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.”
― Rudyard Kipling

Is it a drug you need to persuade people when you speak?

We spend a lot of our time speaking to persuade – persuade people to adopt our ideas, persuade them to buy our products or services, persuade them to employ our skills – sometimes just to pick up their towels from the bath room floor.

Is it a drug you need when you want to persuade?

We can drug ourselves into belief with the stories we tell ourselves.

Undoubtedly we can drug our audiences into belief just as well with the power of words.

We can create emotion with words. And emotion is one of the most powerful persuasion devices there is.

We can build a relationship with a audience to take them with us into the behaviour we want.

Let’s start with emotion.

You can attach emotion to an idea with words that will give it a positive energy or a negative energy or remove either of those.

Associate an idea with positive words and make it attractive. We would all rather a glass half full than a glass half empty. Generally we prefer something with the words “New and Improved” attached. Advertisers use adjectives that build the positives of their products – adjectives like more, increased, amazing, best, fastest, greatest. And I would far rather take up reading, if I were a child, if I knew it would give me a pleasant experience rather that because it would keep me out of mischief.

Reduce the negativities of an idea by using words that diminish that side. So we refer to “layoffs” rather than “downsizing”. We refer to “Intensive Interrogation techniques” rather than “torture” and refer to “used” Aston Martins as “pre-owned”.

On the other hand, associate certain words with a person or an idea and create a negativity around them. Adjectives again, like “infamous”, “malicious” and “stingy” all attach an emotional negativity.

These are powerful emotional drugs to use in persuasion.

Underlying this communication, though, are the word choices you can make that build your credibility for your audience and encourage their trust.

Perhaps the most important word you can use is “You”. Every audience member needs to feel that they are the centre of your attention and that meeting their needs is your prime objective. Focus on using the word “You” and you are forcibly reminded to turn your own thinking and your language that way.

Beyond this, though, the best words to use are “we”, “together” and “us” because they give the impression that you and your audience are of one mind, working towards the same outcome. Take them with you to that outcome. Speak to them, too, in their own language, avoiding words they might not understand and jargon that excludes them.

Validate them and their ideas whenever you can. Use words like “Thank you” and appreciate”.

We have talked already about the adjectives you can use for various reasons. Try to avoid adverbs. Use, instead, very evocative verbs.

Mark Twain again -
“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—’tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.”

What can you use instead of “said”, for example? “Whispered” or “screamed” will communicate far more useful emotion. This is so much more effective than “said quietly” or “said loudly”. It also uses fewer words. We often associate verbosity with someone who is trying to cover something. So to build trust, keep it simple and use simple powerful words.

Now, how to reword my requests about those bath towels??!!

body language in public speaking, Books, gestures in public speaking, persuasion in public speaking, Public speaking, public speaking

Power Cues: The Subtle Science of Leading Groups, Persuading Others, and Maximizing Your Personal Impact

Nick Morgan

ISBN 978-1422193501
Format Hardcover
Publisher Harvard Business Review Press
Published 2014-05-13

Take control of your communications — before someone else does

What if someone told you that your behavior was controlled by a powerful, invisible force? Most of us would be skeptical of such a claim—but it’s largely true. Our brains are constantly transmitting and receiving signals of which we are unaware. Studies show that these constant inputs drive the great majority of our decisions about what to do next—and we become conscious of the decisions only after we start acting on them. Many may find that disturbing. But the implications for leadership are profound.

In this provocative yet practical book, renowned speaking coach and communication expert Nick Morgan highlights recent research that shows how humans are programmed to respond to the nonverbal cues of others—subtle gestures, sounds, and signals—that elicit emotion. He then provides a clear, useful framework of seven “power cues” that will be essential for any leader in business, the public sector, or almost any context. You’ll learn crucial skills, from measuring nonverbal signs of confidence, to the art and practice of gestures and vocal tones, to figuring out what your gut is really telling you.

This concise and engaging guide will help leaders and aspiring leaders of all stripes to connect powerfully, communicate more effectively, and command influence.

About the Author: Nick Morgan, founder of Public Words Inc., is one of America's top communication and speech coaches. He is a former Fellow at Harvard's Kennedy School of Government, where he was affiliated with the school's Center for Public Leadership. From 1998 to 2003, he served as editor of the Harvard Management Communication Letter. He is the author of the acclaimed book, Working the Room, reprinted in paperback as Give Your Speech, Change the World.

Buy the book

Tag Archive for: persuasion