What exactly are you selling?

What exactly is your client or customer buying?

The obvious answer, of course is, "your product or service".

And that is true,

until you actually have to persuade someone to buy,

until "sell" involves something more than the physical exchange of money or value.

Then it becomes fairly obvious that there is something more involved.

Let me say, right now, that what you are selling is a story.

A story is

the story of a change,

the change that your customer or buyer goes through when they use your product or service.

And that is the story you have to sell.

And while that change will have physical aspects and outcomes that might involve things like health, wealth, relationships; ultimately the result your client or customer wants is the emotion, the feeling.  They want to feel free, valued, better than, at peace; all sorts of things.  And they may not articulate that, but the want will be there.  

There is a saying that people buy based on emotion and justify based on logic.

And that is why stories are so valuable.  They can tap into the subconscious level of emotions.  We are wired for story and stories are inherently built on emotion.  

So your client story is vital in your marketing.  

Where are you telling your client story - that story of change?

Imagine you’ve just made a mistake. How do you feel? Ready to celebrate?

If a celebration is the furthest thing from your mind, you're not alone. Most people hate when they make mistakes. For one thing, it's embarrassing to get something wrong. For another, it means you haven't reached the goal you'd set for yourself. There isn't much to like here.

Or is there?

Think about it. When we make mistakes, we learn how not to do something. Even more exciting is when these so-called 'mistakes' lead us into something new or interesting which we might never have found otherwise. After all, bubble wrap was completely a mistake, as the inventor was trying to make a new kind of wallpaper. So were things like Post-It Notes, the microwave oven, potato chips, and superglue.

There are several aspects of imperfection you would do well to embrace. Consider these traits:

Imperfection Gives You the Ability to Succeed

When you constantly strive for perfection and miss, you start thinking you're never going to accomplish anything. Eventually, you stop trying at all, guaranteeing the very failure you were trying to avoid. With imperfection, you aren’t so worried about potential failure, meaning you’re more likely to keep trying until you reach your goals.

Imperfection Builds the Best Relationships

Perfectionism at its worst tells you the rest of the world is never going to measure up. After all, these people don't perform as you want them to, so why would you expect anyone who fails to have any value. With this thought in mind, we start seeing others as being worthless. Failures. Now imagine trying to build a relationship with anyone when you expect so little of them. Isn't this a surefire disaster waiting to happen? Imperfection reminds us we're all human and therefore treats others with kindness. Now imagine how relationships flourish in this kind of atmosphere.

Imperfection Gives Us Self-Worth

This flawed view of the world becomes even worse when directed at ourselves. We start seeing all the ways we don't measure up, and as a result, our self-talk takes a turn for the worse. We beat ourselves up endlessly in an ongoing litany of negativity. We remind ourselves we're falling short at every turn until eventually, we feel so bad about ourselves there seems little reason to go on living. With imperfection, though, we can accept our efforts as being good enough. We can celebrate small victories and solid attempts. We start seeing our efforts as worthwhile and ourselves as having value again. Imperfection changes our self-talk toward positivity.

In short, these three aspects of imperfection combine to make us our best selves. No more do we need to hold ourselves to impossible standards. Our imperfect self already has everything needed to make you into the best version of yourself.

 

1. It will build your credibility.

If you choose a striking quotation, or one from someone the audience knows well.

If you quote someone the audience knows you call up the reputation and memory of that famous person, and that gives an additional power to the words.

2. It will support your persuasion.

Before you choose the quotation, know what you want to say and achieve with the speech.

What is the central message?

What emotions do you want to call up at the beginning of your speech?

You can use the quotation to set the scene for the speech, or even to be a summary of your message, and something you can call back to during your speech for added emphasis.

3. It will allow you to be present with your audience.

While it works best if it relates directly to your content, there may be occasions, though, where it can relate to your audience, or the venue or occasion.

This personalises your speech and allows you to connect with your audience. It should, however, allow for a minimal amount of time to link, then, to your message.

4. It will reinforce that presence, and allow connection with your audience, allowing them to buy in to your speech.

Oftentimes there is huge power in pausing after the quote to let it sink in, to let your audience nod in agreement or wonder just what you are going to achieve with it. It may be something funny, so wait for the amusement to register.

Make sure to emphasise the emotion that you want to project with the quote. Use gesture and facial expression that will heighten the response you want. Smile when the audience has registered amusement for example. Give a heightened shrug if the quotation comes in the form of a question

Obviously there will be other times when you need to go straight to the next sentence. This is especially true if it is a well known quote, or if you are going to disagree with it. … and that

5. Supports the rhythm of your speech.

If you choose quotations that contribute to the message and emotional tone of your speech and if you support that contribution with your delivery, they can be a powerful opening to your speech.

I love visiting waterfalls and creeks and swimming holes in the rainforest.

There is beauty. There is  peace.
But also a  sense of activity as the water moves through its environment, trickling or roaring, making music of its own and changing the landscape as it goes.

This was a river, one of many, that we visited on our holiday, with all of the beauty and peace and movement. It is a popular tourist place, with facilities for visitors including beautifully maintained walks and lookouts. The river runs through huge rocks and the place is actually called “The Boulders”.

At many of the places we had visited before this one, there were swimming “holes” where people were swimming in the rivers, cold though the temperature was at the time, and other places where tour guides showed their clients how to inch across the rocks and slide safely with the water to a pool below.

It’s something that people do.

I have never swum in these water holes,  but I like to see the joy and fun that people have who do.

At a lake we visited there were the usual young men daring each other to feats of daring by diving backwards with a somersault into the lake, off a pontoon.

And in watercourses all around the country on any given day, there are children swinging out over lagoons and waterholes on an old tyre attached to a rope and jumping off into the water.

And all around the country, in any given year there will be accidents – people who want that fun, carefree joy and challenge – but who dive into shallow water or land on something submerged in the water.

There are people absolutely incapacitated because of such accidents or even worse.

In many places there are signs, just like this one …

and on the whole, people abide by them. Not always.

If I were a young man (or woman, though it seems to be young men who are more tempted), would I abide by them?

If I were a young man’s mother, would I want him to abide by them? I know the temptation is strong for the fun, carefree joy and challenge, and I know it is not always resisted.

But at The Boulders, the signs were different. And here’s where the story comes in.

 

I had never ever before seen a sign that said “Many people have died here”, and it was repeated on signs throughout the area.

People have died here.

That is a four word story.

I like to think it would have more impact than the standard sign.

If you were a young man (or woman), would you be more likely to abide by the rule?

If you were a young man’s parent or friend, would you be more likely to persuade him? I would like to think so.

I know as a mother … I would.

I was caught by this thought every time we passed such a sign.

But then when we walked out of the rainforest into the car park, I noticed this plaque on a rock.

Did he dive … and die?

Perhaps not, but if the story is that he did, imagine his mother, his father, his friends, his family, his community and how they felt when he did not return – forever – just because of that daredevil impulse.

That is a heartrending story of a young man who did not live out his life as he could have and whose death must have caused waves and years of anguish.

If you were a young man (or woman), would you be more likely to abide by the rule … knowing that story?

If you were a young man’s parent or friend, would you be more likely to persuade him?

I would like to think so.

I know as a mother … I would.

 

Whether you want to progress in your career or develop healthier habits at home, goal setting can be an essential tool.

Those who set goals are much more likely to achieve success than those who don’t. Not convinced? Check out these 8 benefits of setting goals you can expect to experience.

  1. It keeps you focused

Setting goals helps to keep you focused on the tasks that matter. When you don’t have focus or a direction, it’s difficult to progress. You’ll be much more susceptible to procrastination if you don’t have a clear goal in mind.

Setting goals shows you what you need to do to achieve your dreams. Whatever it is you want to do, goals will help you get there.

  1. Helping to keep you motivated

You’ll also see an increase in your motivation when you work towards goals. However, that’s only if you set the right ones.

The key is to create small, achievable goals. As you tick off each goal, you’ll feel motivated to work towards the next. Contrary to popular belief, motivation doesn’t just present itself. Instead, you need to work on it and build up your motivation over time.

So, if you struggle to stay motivated, setting and completing small goals is going to help.

  1. They make larger goals manageable

Often, the goals we set for ourselves are quite big. For example, you may want to lose weight or gain more financial freedom. These goals may take a while to reach, which can ultimately make it difficult to stick to them.

By setting smaller goals, you’ll be able tor each your large goals much faster. You’ll also find it easier to stay focused as you’ll be seeing some level of progress.

The key to motivation and sticking to larger goals is to see progress. If you don’t, you’re much more likely to give up. Write down your large goals, then break them down into smaller ones to make them more manageable.

  1. You will consistently improve

Life is about learning and developing ourselves into the best person we can be. Goal setting can help you to consistently improve. It can help you to break bad habits, learn something new, and develop key skills to better handle life’s challenges.

If you’re looking to improve your life and become a better person, goal setting is a great tool you can utilize.

  1. Increased satisfaction

Did you know that those who set goals are typically more satisfied in life than those who don’t? This is because, as mentioned earlier, you see a lot of progress being made.

It is also down to how they feel after ticking off their goals. When you reach a goal, you set for yourself, it boosts confidence, and gives you a great feeling of satisfaction.

  1. They put you in control of your future

Goals give you the power to shape and alter your future. You can use them to achieve new things, develop good habits, and change the course of your life.

If you feel like you lack control, it’s going to deter you from changing. However, as you start to achieve the small goals that you set for yourself, you’ll feel motivated to carry on.

  1. Goals boost productivity

Setting goals also helps to boost productivity. If you struggle to get things done, having a goal to work towards can motivate you to work faster and harder.

The focus placed upon achieving the goal helps to push you to get it done.

  1. Freeing up time to spend on other things

As you’ll be more productive and achieve more with goals, it frees up time you can spend on other things. How often do you feel like it’s impossible to get everything done? If there just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day, start setting goals to boost your productivity.

The free time you end up with can be spent on self-care or taking care of chores that never get done.

These are the main benefits of setting goals. You can set them for every area of your life. However, there are a lot of things that you can get wrong. Goals are only effective if you know how to set them.

The secret to setting effective goals

Want to start setting effective goals? The secret is to make them SMART. This is a common method that stands for:

Specific

Measurable

Achievable

Relevant

Timely

Your goals need to be as specific as possible. That means they need to be targeted, rather than general goals. An example would be you want to lose weight. If you simply set your goal to lose weight, this isn’t very specific. However, if you were to set a goal to lose 2 pounds in a week, that is a much more refined goal.

You should also make sure that the goals are measurable. That is, you need to be able to clearly see progress as you work towards them. Taking the weight loss example again, you can measure your progress by how you feel and what the scales say when you step onto them.

The third thing to focus on is that your goals are achievable. After all, there’s no point setting them or working towards them if they aren’t.

The goals you work towards need to be relevant to what you are trying to achieve. What is your overall goal and are your current goals helping you to get there? If not, it’s time to make some changes.

Finally, the goals you set yourself should be timely. That is, you have a deadline to achieve them. If you don’t set a specific date or time to finish a goal, it can lead to procrastination. So, set a deadline and stick to it. Just make sure the deadline is realistic otherwise you’ll miss it and become demotivated to continue.

If you follow the SMART goal setting method, you’ll see much better results.

How to stick to your goals

Following the SMART goal setting method will go a long way to helping you stick to your goals. However, there are a few more tips you can follow to make achieving your goals easier. These include:

  • Choose goals that you are passionate about
  • Stick to working on one goal at a time
  • Give yourself a reward when you achieve a goal
  • Share your goals with others for accountability
  • Write your goals down

It’s important to focus on goals you’re passionate about as this makes it more likely you’ll see them through. If you aren’t interested in the goal, you aren’t going to work hard to achieve it.

Avoid working on more than one goal at a time. It’s hard to multi-task and working on one goal allows you to give it all of your focus. This ensures you complete it faster.

These are some of the best tips you can follow when setting goals for yourself. Don’t be afraid to make your goals smaller if you are struggling. The key is to find a method that works for you.

So, there you have it, the benefits of setting goals and some top tips to get you started. When you start to set goals, you’ll start to see real change in your life.

 

 

Do you wish you could work less and play more?

Are you so stuck in the rut you can't see a way out? Have you ever said I wish I had more time for me?

Well there is hope. First of all you have to be aware of your situation, have a strong desire to change and then take action.

Jackie's Story
Jackie is 31 yrs of age and the Business Development Manager for an insurance company.

She always arrived at work at 8.00 a.m. and never left the office before 6.30 p.m. most nights. She bemoaned the fact that work took over her life.

Through the process of coaching we discovered that the only reason Jackie didn't have a personal life was because she never planned to have one.

She realised she buried herself in her work needlessly. She avoided going home as she had nothing to look forward to. Jackie lived on her own, she wasn't in a relationship and had no hobbies. So she defined her purpose in life through her work. It made her feel worthwhile and wanted. Although her career was blossoming, Jackie was unhappy. In fact, she was lonely.

We worked on getting Jackie on purpose in her personal life.

Through the coaching process we concentrated on three key goals which would be achievable and realistic over a six month period. Why? Because that timeframe is long enough to achieve measurable results and make long term changes.

Jackie's main goal areas related to her career, health and fitness and relationships. This is what she came up with:

Career
Leave work by 5.00 p.m. each day.

Health and Fitness
To be able to wear my black skirt. (Jackie had put on so much weight that she couldn't do the zip up.)

Relationship
To be in a loving relationship.

There were a number of secondary goals, however these three were the key ones that Jackie was the most passionate about and was prepared to take action on.

Define the Goal

Once the goals were defined we then worked out the strategies to reach them and then the actions to take to achieve them.

Career - Leave work by 5.00 p.m. each day
We looked at Jackie's time management. I had her fill out our Weekly Planner which also can be used as a time sheet. We discovered she wasted at least two hours a day on unwanted interruptions and being unable to say 'no'. We showed her simple ways to plan her day more effectively and get more done.

Health and Fitness - To be able to wear my black skirt.
Jackie had no exercise routine and her diet was inadequate. Together we worked out the best solution for her physical activity which was to join the gym near her work. By attending the gym at 6.00 a.m. each morning she was able to bounce into work instead of dragging herself in.

In fact the gym was a double bonus as there were a few good relationship prospects who attended at that hour.

Jackie never planned what she would eat. In fact she didn't shop regularly and therefore would often grab fast food for lunch and dinner. By showing her healthier alternatives and planning time to shop, it was easy for her to improve her diet and overall well-being.

Relationship - To be in a loving relationship
Through the coaching process Jackie realised she would have to be proactive in this area and needed to meet more people. She had always wanted to do photography and enrolled in a TAFE short course. By doing this not only did she meet a nice unattached guy but fulfilled a deep seated need to do something creative in her life.

Once Jackie realised that she wanted to have a life and was focused on her goals, everything changed. On her own she would most likely not have made any significant changes as it would have been too overwhelming and require her to move out of her comfort zone.

The fact that she was investing her own money in herself and had someone to be accountable to, made a huge impact on the results she achieve.

5 Simple Ways You Can Make More Time For Your Life

#1 Learn how to manage your time so you can be as effective as possible.
You can read books on time management, attend courses or the most effective way is to have a coach to work with you.

#2 Say "no"
You don't always have to say yes to everyone else’s requests. You can say 'no'. Perhaps you need to learn how to be more assertive.

#3 Lighten your load
Wherever possible look at ways of delegating or outsourcing tasks to free up more of your time, i.e. at home have a cleaner or gardener. At work see who else can help to lighten your workload.

#4 Do similar things at the one time
Do all your errands in one trip. Visit clients on the one day. Allocate a block of time to return phone calls or respond to emails each day.

#5 Timetable Your Life
Plan in your diary when you will take time out for you. Maybe every lunchtime you'll go for a 30 minute walk or attend the gym three mornings a week, have a facial or massage fortnightly. If it's not in the diary chances are it won't happen.

The Final Word
Many people often float through life with no particular purpose. They'll make the excuse "I haven't got time". It's easy to say "I haven't got time" or "I'm too busy" to avoid having to change and stretch themselves. However, what is the alternative? Continually do the same thing and getting the same results or making changes and getting different results?

The choice is yours.

Lorraine Pirihi is the founder of Relaunch Your Life  , a consulting and coaching practice where she specialises in helping baby boomer professionals who are tired, worn out and over it to get their mojo back in business and in life.

 

Stretch to relax. Rise on your toes and reach for the ceiling, with your head back. Tighten your muscles from legs up through abdomen, and then release. Relax the neck and shoulder muscles, letting head loll on neck in different directions.

Breathe to relax. Stand erect, but relaxed and balanced. Inhale while silently counting to five. Hold the breath for five counts, then exhale for five – all breathing is through the mouth. Your diaphragm should move, but your chest should not expand. You can gradually increase the number of counts for each breath to 10.

Relax your Jaw. Let your head loll forward. As you raise it, keep your jaw relaxed. Let it hang open, and smile to yourself at how silly it feels.

Relax your throat. Yawn …. This is how your throat needs to be to speak well – open, and relaxed. Keep relaxing the muscles throughout your body, your jaw, neck and throat until you walk to the presentation area. Then smile! and begin.

 

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Though we often think of distractions as inherently bad, that's not always the case. There are some instances where a distraction can be helpful or even healthy. Unfortunately, we all know that there are plenty of distractions out there that can lead us astray.

But what about those times when a distraction can be a good thing? Here are a few examples:

 

Taking a Break

 

If you notice that you are experiencing additional stress or feelings of anxiety, a mild but healthy distraction will relieve your mind and offer some relief. Examples of good distractions, in this case, include reading a book, listening to music, or going for a walk.

 

Refocusing Yourself

 

Sometimes, if you can't focus on a task, taking a brief break might help you get back to work. This is usually the case when the task is quite difficult or boring.

 

Eating, Drinking, and Nourishing Yourself

 

Sometimes, a healthy distraction can help us avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms like overeating or drinking. If you feel tempted to engage in one of these behaviors, try to find a positive distraction to focus on instead.

 

Other Self-Care Actions

 

Anytime you notice that even with your normal interventions, you can’t seem to get your focus together, it may be time to take some time out for more self-care. It may simply mean working on sleeping better at night so you’re at your best each day, but it will take self-reflection and honesty to ensure you find the right issues. It’s not wrong to take care of your needs before anyone else gets their wants seen to.

 

Helping Your Child Refocus

 

Helping your child switch from a frustrating task to a more enjoyable activity can be an excellent way to reduce their stress levels and prevent them from becoming overwhelmed. While this may seem like a distraction as it happens, taking you from your task and helping them will teach them to soothe themselves better, and over time interruptions will slow down as they learn what to do by your example.

 

As you can see, there are actually quite a few instances where a diversion can be helpful – when you're feeling stressed or anxious, your child is having a tough time with a task or situation, or you need more healthy self-care. Sometimes shifting attention to something helps everyone.

 

Of course, it's essential not to let distractions get out of hand. However, if you constantly get sidetracked and not getting anything done, it's time to reassess your priorities and find a better way to focus. For example, maybe you need to work more on the setup before starting a new task.

 

Perhaps being more mindful about your current feelings, your child’s issues, and so forth will help you avoid problems. But in moderation, distractions can be helpful. In addition, you may build stronger relationships with yourself and your loved ones if you handle them well. So next time you're feeling stressed or struggling to focus, don't be afraid to give yourself a break and find a healthy distraction.

 

Struggles and obstacles are a part of life that everyone deals with at some point or another throughout life.

Some people know the benefits of asking for help, yet others hold themselves back and suffer silently. Whether you are struggling in your professional or personal life, not asking for the help you need can be detrimental to your success. Here are three reasons why you may be afraid to ask for help.

Pride Stands in the Way

People who are independent by nature tend to struggle when it comes to asking for help when they really need it because they believe they should do everything themselves. Often, this can become a detriment to them and others around them who are dependent on them.

 

While independence is a great trait to have, the pride that comes with it can get in the way of getting things accomplished promptly. It may take you twice as long to solve a problem as it would if you asked for help. It may be honorable to be independent; however, you may be hurting yourself more than you realize when you let pride stand in the way.

Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection is a big reason people ask others for help when they need it. These people are so wrapped up in their concern that they convince themselves that everyone will say “no” to whatever they ask, so it is better not to ask in the first place.

 

By not asking for help because you believe the other person will reject you, you tell them you do not think they care enough to help. This shows an insecurity that will keep you from accomplishing your goals and keep others from connecting with you on a closer level.

Fear of Being Exposed As an Imposter

Imposter syndrome is a phrase used to describe people who go through their lives doing what needs to be done, all the while feeling they will be exposed as a fraud. They may be having success, but they think it is more luck than any real skill or knowledge that has gotten them thus far.

 

This fear of feeling like an imposter can grow to a point where it is difficult to ask others for help because they may be exposed. This fear can have detrimental effects on a person's personal and professional life because they cannot ask others for help.

 

Overall, when you get into a situation where you need help but hesitate, you may be experiencing one of the above reasons. Overcoming these fears and insecurities can help you move into the life you have always wanted for yourself.

 

 

Your self-esteem is more than just the confidence you have in yourself. It goes much deeper than that, down into your feelings of self-worth and how much you respect yourself. Your self-esteem affects everything about you, from the decisions you make to your overall outlook on the world.

A strong and healthy self-esteem is one of the main building blocks of a happy and healthy you. With a healthy self-esteem you can have the confidence to do well in the world, and the self-respect to make good decisions.

Here are ten tips on how to develop your self-esteem.

1. Stop the Criticism - Find the strength to stop criticizing yourself so much. You cannot expect yourself to be perfect any more than anyone else can.

2. Make a List - Make an actual “pro” and “con” list and write down what you do and do not like about yourself. Be specific and resist the impulse to just write things like “I hate my hair”. When you are very specific like this, you might find that you have less to dislike than you think.

3. Set Realistic Goals - Set personal goals for yourself so you have something to work for, and set up a reward system as well. Resist the urge to make unrealistic goals, however. For example, don't expect to be able to run five miles the first time you try, or attempt to lose 50lbs in a month. Make small, realistic goals and you will always have something to look forward to.

4. Take Care of Yourself - Eat right, exercise, and get plenty of sleep. Take care of yourself, and take pride in your body and mind.

5. Think Positive Thoughts - Try to avoid thinking negative thoughts, especially when it comes to yourself. Instead, put those thoughts out of your head and purposely start listing all of the positives around you.

6. Don't Make Comparisons - It is unrealistic and unhealthy to compare yourself to other people. You are a unique individual; you should take pride in what sets you apart.

7. Treat Yourself Well - Show yourself a good time every once in a while, or treat yourself to something special. Even small things, like taking the time to indulge in a good book or a home spa treatment, can do wonders for your self-esteem.

8. Meditate - Meditation isn't about sitting cross-legged and humming. It is about taking the time to release your mind and body from all of the stress, closing your eyes, and focusing on centering yourself. It is a great stress reliever, and could help you connect with your inner self.

9. Make Good Decisions - Good self-esteem is also about having self-respect. Making good decisions in all walks of life will help you maintain that self-respect.

10. The Truth about Perfection - The truth about perfection is that it doesn't exist. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and those mistakes are all part of the adventure of life. Don't get hung up on things that you might not do just right, or if something isn't perfect, because there is no such thing.

A healthy self-esteem can change your life. People with healthy self-esteem are more likely to make good decisions, work harder towards accomplishment, and live happier lives. With these tips, you can strengthen your self-esteem.