Q: I am very shy, but very ambitious. I started a company and am up to four employees. I spend much of my time in my office because it makes me uncomfortable to spend too much time being social and having meaningless conversations. I don't think this is a good character trait. How can I become more comfortable around people?

A: Bravo for addressing this now! As your company grows, people will look to you for leadership. Literally. They'll watch how you act on a day-to-day basis and will adjust their tone accordingly. Conversation from the boss, even if it's idle chit-chat, isn't meaningless. It creates culture and lets people know how to respond.

Here's one thing I can guarantee: If you stay in your office, they won't think you're shy. They'll invent all kinds of sinister explanations. They'll think you're aloof, cold, standoffish or uncaring. Then they'll get to the really nasty interpretations. People read the worst possible interpretations into an information void. It's just how humans do things. When they're searching your office closet for hidden bodies, you know it's time to overcome your shyness.

I had one client with exactly this issue: She hated talking to people. She would head directly to her office and close the door every morning. We eased her into conversation by having her ask questions. A question puts the spotlight on the other person, so you needn't do much talking, just listening. Your questions don't need to be rocket science. Here are some good starter questions: "Are things going as well as you'd like?" "What do you think of [insert pressing issue here]?" "What do you think we should be doing?" For any answer they give, you can continue the conversation by asking for reasons and clarification: "Why do you think that? What do you think we should do?"

Ask lots of open-ended questions. Open-ended questions like "Why?" or "How?" get people thinking and, more importantly, talking. They can talk for hours. You may learn a lot, but even if you just listen, they'll walk away happy and feeling heard. Questions that can be answered with a single word are death to conversation. "Is everything OK?" "Yes."

Once you're comfortable asking questions, you can choose questions to start people moving in a specific direction. Ask about how your company's goals link to the daily activities. Ask with genuine curiosity, and you'll have your employees asking the same question to themselves. They'll begin linking the company direction with their day-to-day activities.

For people management, you can ask questions that explore how they feel about their job, what their perception of morale is and how you can help improve things.

Marcus Buckingham's book First, Break all the Rules lays out a set of questions that can be used to assess whether your work force is getting what it needs to produce outstanding results. The questions include things like, "Do you have the tools you need to get your job done?" The questions are intended to be administered as a survey, but let's cheat. Read over the questions and keep them in your mental toolkit so you can ask in conversation and spot-check the issues they bring up.

When you're ready to go on to advanced people interaction, you can plan office social activities and invite people out to lunch, bowling, pizza parties and so on. Just be present with people, smile a lot and let them know you're there. Part of what people want in a leader is someone they can turn to. With your questions, you're providing direction. With your presence, you're providing reassurance and, well, presence.

Of course, not every CEO can be a social creature. If all else fails, make sure you have other senior managers who can get out and engage employees. But remember: People will still need direction and visible leadership, which they'll want upper management to provide. The more you can get out and be visible, the stronger you'll be as a leader.

As an entrepreneur, technologist, advisor and coach, Stever Robbins seeks out and identifies high-potential start-ups to help them develop the skills, attitudes and capabilities they need to succeed. He has been involved with start-up companies since 1978 and is currently an investor or advisor to several technology and Internet companies including ZEFER Corp., University Access Inc., RenalTech, Crimson Soutions and PrimeSource. He has been using the Internet since 1977, was a co-founder of FTP Software in 1986, and worked on the design team of Harvard Business School's "Foundations" program. Stever holds an MBA from Harvard Business School and a computer science degree from MIT. His Web site is a http://www.venturecoach.com.