Life’s Biggest Con

What scares you? What stories do you make up to con yourself into holding back? What would you do if you didn't con yourself into being scared?

I've done something that scared the heck out of me. But it also turned out to be the best thing I've ever done!

Two years ago, I discovered that my Dad needed a kidney and as soon as I realized I might be the answer he needed, the voices in my head began to resist and shout!

"NO WAY can I give up a kidney! Are you kidding me!? I need both kidneys! I can't do it!"

Fear struck me down in an instant. I had never given up a body part. For that matter, I had never even stayed in hospital.

Despite the fear, I mentally considered the idea ... and I the more I thought about it, the more terrified I became. What if I had kidney failure in the future? Would I be able to have kids? What if something went wrong and I had impaired health for the rest of my life? Don't we need both kidneys?

All the while, Dad never asked me or any other member of our family for a kidney. I decided to get tested on my own. I was the only one in my family that got tested and I felt isolated. I felt like Dad's health was my responsibility alone. The fear held an even firmer grip on my mind.


 

And to accelerate the mental spin I was already in, there were plenty of well-meaning people ready to offer up their unsolicited opinion to help build and fortify my "wall of fear."

These were just a few of the fantastic and ridiculous comments I heard:

· "I know someone who donated a kidney and they got really fat as a result. You might get really fat". (A young woman's worst fear!)

· "Will you be able to have children?"

· "You'll have to give up alcohol."

· "You'll have to change your diet, become a vegetarian."

· "What happens if your kidney fails and you don't have a spare?"

· "What if you're in a car accident and your remaining kidney gets hurt?"

· "What about the yin and yang and flow through your body that they refer to in Chinese medicine? Losing a kidney will interrupt that and ruin your health!"

In the midst of all that, I decided to move forward. Dad told me I could pull out at anytime and he wouldn't think the worst of me. But I had made up my mind and I began to rise above the fear, rise above my own con job.

 

By the time the day of the operation arrived, I was actually calm.

When I awoke from the surgery, the doctors had me on a drip line and added 7kg of fluid to my body - even my chicken legs were fat! And they had pumped my body cavity full of gas. My surgeons joked that I looked like I should be in the maternity ward!

But, guess what? That was the worst of it. Despite my fears and the warnings of well-meaning friends, there were no complications and my recovery was quick. I was only in the hospital for 4 days. It only took a week for the fluid to leave my body and a few short months for the swelling to deflate completely. I was dancing - albeit somewhat carefully - after just 2 weeks, and returned to work after 4 weeks.

Now, giving up a kidney should be pretty scary for anyone, right? It's an important body part and you can't get it back once it's gone. It certainly was a scary prospect for me! But I did it, and the truth is that it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't a big deal at all! It was only my thinking that made it so. It's sort of like bungy jumping. The scariest part is the fear you con yourself into believing before you jump. After you jump, it's exhilarating.

I realized that I was incredibly fortunate to have been given an opportunity to donate my kidney. With that realization, though, came an insightful question that stopped me in my tracks:

If I could give up a kidney ... if it really wasn't such a big deal ... then what else could I have done if I hadn't let fear get in the way?

I could ... I CAN ... do so much more! I got it! I wasn't living up to my potential and I was 100% responsible. The only thing holding me back was me! I have since decided that I am not going to waste another minute. I LIVE, not exist. I've got massive goals and thoroughly ENJOY every moment of my life.

It's been over two years now and I'm delighted to report that Dad hasn't rejected the kidney. My gift has given Dad a far superior quality of life, has had zero adverse effects on my health, and the whole experience has undoubtedly brought Dad & I closer. I have realized that the joy is truly in the giving.

And I understand that fear is simply a con game we play on ourselves. It is all in our mind.

By acting in the face of fear and giving up my kidney, I received the greatest gift imaginable. I feel fantastic! My life is utterly different now, I LOVE it! From this experience, I've acquired a massive desire to wake people up, to let them know that they should never let fear hold them back, to inspire them to live NOW ...and to make the world a better place.

I'm up for big stuff ... and I'm going for it.
What are you up for? You'll only discover what you're capable of doing if you are willing to do it afraid!
Adrienne Rich
Auckland, New Zealand, Current Member - Bob Proctor Coaching Program

For more information on Bob Proctor Coaching programs or to comment on today's story, please email: bob@bobproctorcoaching.com 

Learn How to Control Anger in a Relationship

Can you recall what anger in a relationship feels like? Anger is a learned reaction to something negative in a situation, often referred to as a trigger. It’s best described as an unbridled horse. For instance, if you do not take control, it is likely to control you.

I would like you to think about what provokes your anger. Make a list of your specific anger triggers. Now, look at your list and think of additional ways to help deal with stressful situations. This simple exercise will help you to recognize and then admit to your anger.

Keep in mind that anger is controllable and a choice that you can choose to do something about if you want. If you tell your spouse or partner when you are angry, then it will help avoid a situation that could be otherwise pushed to the boiling point.

 

Are you beginning to see how choosing to control your anger is an important first step?

Now I want you to go deep into your own mind and visualize the signs when you are angry. Are you trying to conceal your anger by using sarcastic remarks toward your spouse or partner, wanting to lash out at someone or just feeling altogether aggravated?

If you feel hot and flushed and your heart is pounding rapidly, there is a good possibility you’re angry. Other signs of anger include feeling tense or your head is throbbing because your blood pressure is skyrocketing. Stop yourself! Calm down before you say or do anything you are going to regret later.

 

Fix Your Marriage

 

When it comes to anger in a relationship, always try to understand the other person's point of view. It’s not easy to put yourself in someone else's shoes but it can be done if you try hard. Be aware that the other person does not enjoy your anger anymore than you do.

Just because you have a misunderstanding, be willing to cut the person you love some slack whenever possible. When you argue with your partner, do so in a helpful manner. Never, ever call the other person names or bring up experiences that happened in the past because it can serve to drum up painful memories.

Never begin a sentence with "You never," instead focus on explaining how you feel, such as by saying, "I need" or "I want."  This helps to deflect some of the anger and doesn't put the other person on the defensive right away.

Sometimes in order to keep the peace it is necessary to walk away from a situation that is bringing up angry feelings on both people's parts. Often getting away from a situation will help you put it into perspective and then after you feel better you can go back and set things right.

Author: John Doetsch Don’t let procrastination, hesitation or fear stop you. You can easily control anger in a relationship by visiting this site now: http://www.angermanagementstrategies.com/

In praise of wastebaskets


How do you feel about wastebaskets? That's right, you read that correctly - your attitude toward your wastebasket will have a profound and  - yea verily -- mystical impact on your paper clutter.

Do not - I repeat DO NOT - think of your wastebasket as an evil enemy who gobbles up all your important data.  It is your sweet and kind, loyal and true friend who needs to be nurtured and fed.

So feed your wastebasket.

Also, buy a wastebasket for every spot in which paper clutter accumulates. You might whine, "But a wastebasket looks dumb in my dining room." And to that I retort, "Pray tell, do you think all that paper stacked on your dining room table has an intelligent look ... as opposed to that dumb-looking wastebasket?

Now here is a wondrous fact about wastebaskets: they come in attractive colours and styles. Yes, they do. You may even find one that you love.

BEWARE: When you go on your wastebasket-shopping-binge, don't buy little bitty teeny-tiny dainty ones unless you have little bitty teeny-tiny dainty stacks of papers. If you have mega-paper clutter like most of us, then you need mega-wastebaskets.  Lots of them.

 


 

 

Rita Emmett - Recovering Procrastinator  PROFESSIONAL SPEAKER: Keynotes & Seminars on Increasing Productivity & Conquering Procrastination; also strategies to Prevent Burnout such as "While You Take Care of Others, Who Takes Care of You?" and "Are We Having Any Fun Yet?"
Email:  Rita@RitaEmmett.com
http://www.RitaEmmett.com
Phone: 847-699-9950

 

 

One – Finding what we are looking for

You've never seen a movie like ONE before.

ONE takes you on the back of a bumblebee looking for what he believes is 'the magic flower'.

The insects he meets along the way give the bumblebee (and us) the most profound insights on life.

And those insights deepen as you meet real people actually applying what the bumblebee has learned.

ONE is a magical movie and a beautiful gift to us all.

The Rose

 

 

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being..

She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?'

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze..

'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked.

She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...'

'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and experience with me..

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revelled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.'

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ' We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody! Can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets..'

She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.'

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those months ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE..

The Dream Movie

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How to write an Elevator Pitch

“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” ~ Coachfucious

The first and foremost thing you need to do is be ready and ably to sell your product or service in a snapshot. In order to get the clients you are looking for you absolutely need to be prepared to meet with your clients wherever they are and whatever they do. What will set you apart from all the rest of the people in your business is the MANTRA that you will sing to enchant your clients and get them close to you.

This mantra identifies who you are, what you do and why your client will choose you over all the others on the market and is most commonly known as elevator speech.

Before we create one, we will go though the brainstorming process.

There are a couple of tough questions that can be answered before we roll up our sleeves and start creating our client magnet.

1. Who am I? In what capacity I want to serve you?

2. What business I am in? What results do my business promise to you as a client?

3. Who is my client? How does he look like?

4. What makes me different from the competition? Why should the client do business with me?

5. What are the benefits of my customer when buying my product / services?

Those questions, when systemized, don’t look as if they will come out of the page and bite you but when you think about it 90% of the time to come up with ideas is very difficult. Usually this uneasiness to decide on the right answers for you and your business springs from the fact that most of us consciously or not are employees in their business and being an owner of a business is just that – being employed by yourself to perform the job task- owner.

The way to go out of this trap where you end up employing yourself and go into the thinking hat that is only concerned with how to elevate your business the answers will start flowing to you.

Whenever you are ready with our own answers to the clarification questions, you can start writing your elevator speech. This speech you will be able to say wherever you go whatever you do and you will be able to sell your product or service in 30 seconds. And I will show example with my own elevator speech.

1. For whom are you offering your product / service? Who is your client?

Your sentence will start with “for” as in: “For unstoppably determined people”

2. What is it that your customer wants / needs and you are offering?

Your sentence will start with “who” as in: “Who want to live with passion and be financially independent”

3. What product or service you are offering?

Your sentence will start with “the” as in: “The Life & Money Coaching of Tsvetanka (Sue) Petrova”

4. What category does your product or service satisfy?

Your sentence will start with “is a” as in: “Is a walk through into the world of achieving your goals”

5. What is the benefit that your client will receive when buying your product / service?

Your sentence will start with “that” as in: “That is low cost and at the same time high in value because”

6. Who are your competitors and why you are better than them?

Your sentence will start with “unlike” as in: “Unlike others I walk the walk, and talk the talk.”

7. What is the single most important thing that sets you apart form the competition?

Your sentence will start with “our” as in: “Our coaching re-frames circumstances and life situations into possibilities and I help my clients turn those possibilities into opportunities.”

The most important step is as soon as you have your MANTRA ready, chant it as much as possible to as many people as possible and then just happily receive all the goodness the powerful mantra that you just created can bring into your business life.

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Get your clients all over the world using THE 3 ESSENTIAL Ingredients to Success at http://www.aheartsdesires.com/        This article was originally published here