Tag Archive for: humour

The new Bio-Optic Organised Knowledge device, trade named: B.O.O.K.

 

B.O.O.K

Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organised Knowledge device, trade named: B.O.O.K.

 

B.O.O.K. is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, not batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on.  It is so easy to use, even a child can operate it.

 

Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere – even sitting in an armchair by the fire – yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.

Here’s how it works:

 

B.O.O.K. is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable) each capable of holding thousands of bits of information.  The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder, which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.

 

Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs.  Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, B.O.O.K.s with more information simply use more pages.

 

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain.  A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.  B.O.O.K. may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.

 

Unlike other display devices, B.O.O.K. never crashes or requires rebooting, and it can even be dropped on the floor or stepped on without damage.  However, it can become unusable if immersed in water for a significant period of time.  The “browse” feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet and move forward or backward as you wish.  Many come with an “index” feature, which pinpoints the exact location of selected information for instant retrieval.

 

An optional “B.O.O.K. mark” accessory allows you to open  B.O.O.K. to the exact place you left it in a previous session – even if the B.O.O.K. has been closed.

B.O.O.K. mark fits universal design standards; thus, a single B.O.O.K mark can be used in B.O.O.K.s by various manufacturers.  Conversely, numerous B.O.O.K markers can be used in a single a B.O.O.K. if the user wants to store numerous views at once.   The number is limited only by the number of pages in the B.O.O.K.

 

You can also make personal notes next to B.O.O.K. text entries with an optional programming tool,  the Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (P.E.N.C.I.L.S.)

 

Portable, durable, and affordable, B.O.O.K. is hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave.  Also, B.O.O.K.s appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking.

 

Look for a flood of new titles soon.

 

 

 

 

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Pivotal Fun. Earth Day jokes

 

'I have an obsession with wind farms.'

'Really?'

'Yes. I'm a huge fan.'

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There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew.

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Q: Did you hear the one about the aluminium recycling plant?

A: It smelt!

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In honor of Earth day, I'm sending all of my work-related emails to my "recycle" folder.

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Q: What did one tree say to the other?

A: Are you a Sap!

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Obviously you can't confess all your sins in one go but must separate bottle, paper and plastic confessions.

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Q: What is the difference between a person and a tree?

A: One is illegal to hit with an ax!

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We do not inherit the Earth from our ancestors we borrow it from our children.

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Q: What can the climate do that weather can't do with a tree?

A: Climb it.

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An environmentalist dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, 'Ah, you're an environmentalist - you're in the wrong place.' Thinking that heaven could never make an error, the environmentalist reports to the gates of hell and is let in.

Pretty soon, the environmentalist gets dissatisfied with the environment in hell, and starts implementing eco-friendly improvements. After a while, global warming, air and water pollution are under control. The landscape is covered with grass and plants, the food is organic and the people are happy. The environmentalist has become a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, 'So, how's it going down there in hell?'
Satan replies, 'Hey, things are going great. We've clean air and water, the temperature is better and the food tastes better, and there's no telling what this environmentalist is going to fix next.'

God replies, 'What? You've got an environmentalist? That's a mistake; he should never have gotten down there, send him up here.'

Satan says, 'No way. I like having an environmentalist on the staff, and I'm keeping him.'

God says, 'Send him back up here or I'll sue.'

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, 'Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?'

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Why are Eco warriors bad at playing cards?

They like to avoid the flush.

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Q: What's the name of the new Tom Cruise eco-thriller?

A: Mission Compostable!

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The Reverend Martyn Hind, parish priest, is to offer 'eco-sinners' the chance to confess in what is thought to be the first 'green' confessional booth.

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Q: Why does a Time Magazine survey state only 85% of Americans think global warming is happening?

A: The other 15 percent work for the oil industry!

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17 trees are saved by every ton of existing paper that is recycled. That means if we pulped every Harry Potter book we wouldn't be able to see the sky for foliage.

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A woman called her husband during the day and asked him to pick up some organic vegetables for that night’s dinner on his way home.

The husband arrived at the store and began to search all over for organic vegetables before finally asking the produce guy where they were. The produce guy didn’t know what he was talking about, so the husband said: “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with poisonous chemicals?”

To which the produce guy replied, “No, sir, you will have to do that yourself.”

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Q: How do you know your a bad recycler?

A: You give the recycle bins to your kids to use as toboggans.

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Greenhouse effect is an anagram of:

'Huge trees offence'




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Pivotal Fun

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Public speaking quotation – True humour

True humor is fun - it does not put down, kid, or mock. It makes people feel wonderful, not separate, different, and cut off. True humor has beneath it the understanding that we are all in this together.

-Hugh Prather

Just for fun – bent

Bent objects by Terry Border
... amazing creativity ... and lots of fun


This one is "Bad Cheese"
See this and the others at http://bit.ly/SwFuzw

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Public Speaking – 7 Types of Humor You Can Use

In public speaking, the ability to use humor is an important skill to possess whatever your natural ability is. Most people like to smile, to laugh, or to enjoy a listening experience. Humor adds sparkle and interest to a speech. Humor when used should be good willed and not given in a manner to show how witty you are.
It is probably impossible to catalog humor completely. Here I have listed the 7 kinds of humor commonly used in public speaking.
Turn of Phrase
In this type of humor, you get the laugh by starting to make a serious point in one direction and suddenly an unexpected meaning is revealed. Mark Twain used this technique when he said that "youth is such a wonderful thing, it is shame to waste it on children."
The Pun
A word is used to evoke a serious meaning and then used in a completely different meaning altogether. The second meaning gives a whole new viewpoint to the speaker's remarks. To be funny the meaning should not be stretched too far or it will evoke groans rather than smiles. For example, the organiser of an event may ask a member of the audience if the guest speaker was an able speaker. The member of the audience may reply "Yes, the guest speaker was able. He was able to stand up all the way through his speech."
Exaggeration
This is where a small thing is made into a larger important issue. This is similar to the how a cartoonist will exaggerate the features of a politician for effect.
Understatement
This is the opposite of exaggeration, and words are used to underplay the importance of an event or issue.
Irony
Here, the face value meaning of the words is different to the intended meaning. An example is the phrase "as pleasant and relaxed as a coiled rattlesnake" used by Kurt Vonnegut in one of his books.
Sarcasm
Sarcasm is a cutting form of wit and should be used with care. To be funny the audience should not have much sympathy for the intended target. If they do it will not work in your favor.
Satire
Satire is an attack upon something worded in a way as to be pleasant but clear in its meaning. Will Rogers at a bankers convention asked "I have often wondered where the Depositor's hold their convention."
To be funny, the humor should be said in a spirit of fun. However, for best effect, humor should be unannounced and told with a straight face (you don't want to laugh before your audience does). It requires more practice and preparation than other parts of your speech. The humor will die if you fumble over words or stumble during the punch line. In public speaking, as it is with conversation, the telling of humor should be effortless and natural.
To be effective in public speaking the humor should be relevant to the points being made. It is woven into the fabric of the speech. With practice and preparation it is possible to employ the 7 types of humor listed, regardless of how dry and shy you maybe.
.....................................................................
Author: Edward Hope ... Add interest to your your public speaking and conversation with "The Art of Great Conversation." To claim your free preview visit http://www.SelfConfidentSpeaking.com

Just for fun – computer upgrade

Public Speaking – 7 Types of Humor You Can Use

In public speaking, the ability to use humor is an important skill to possess whatever your natural ability is. Most people like to smile, to laugh, or to enjoy a listening experience. Humor adds sparkle and interest to a speech. Humor when used should be good willed and not given in a manner to show how witty you are.
It is probably impossible to catalog humor completely. Here I have listed the 7 kinds of humor commonly used in public speaking.
Turn of Phrase
In this type of humor, you get the laugh by starting to make a serious point in one direction and suddenly an unexpected meaning is revealed. Mark Twain used this technique when he said that "youth is such a wonderful thing, it is shame to waste it on children."
The Pun
A word is used to evoke a serious meaning and then used in a completely different meaning altogether. The second meaning gives a whole new viewpoint to the speaker's remarks. To be funny the meaning should not be stretched too far or it will evoke groans rather than smiles. For example, the organiser of an event may ask a member of the audience if the guest speaker was an able speaker. The member of the audience may reply "Yes, the guest speaker was able. He was able to stand up all the way through his speech."
Exaggeration
This is where a small thing is made into a larger important issue. This is similar to the how a cartoonist will exaggerate the features of a politician for effect.
Understatement
This is the opposite of exaggeration, and words are used to underplay the importance of an event or issue.
Irony
Here, the face value meaning of the words is different to the intended meaning. An example is the phrase "as pleasant and relaxed as a coiled rattlesnake" used by Kurt Vonnegut in one of his books.
Sarcasm
Sarcasm is a cutting form of wit and should be used with care. To be funny the audience should not have much sympathy for the intended target. If they do it will not work in your favor.
Satire
Satire is an attack upon something worded in a way as to be pleasant but clear in its meaning. Will Rogers at a bankers convention asked "I have often wondered where the Depositor's hold their convention."
To be funny, the humor should be said in a spirit of fun. However, for best effect, humor should be unannounced and told with a straight face (you don't want to laugh before your audience does). It requires more practice and preparation than other parts of your speech. The humor will die if you fumble over words or stumble during the punch line. In public speaking, as it is with conversation, the telling of humor should be effortless and natural.
To be effective in public speaking the humor should be relevant to the points being made. It is woven into the fabric of the speech. With practice and preparation it is possible to employ the 7 types of humor listed, regardless of how dry and shy you maybe.
.....................................
Author: Edward Hope ... Add interest to your your public speaking and conversation with "The Art of Great Conversation." To claim your free preview visit http://www.SelfConfidentSpeaking.com

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Respect for property – just for fun

Love this - I will file it - not sure where I can use it in my speaking, but I hope the opportunity arises. In the meantime, .... I can share it with you!!

Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.

G. K. Chesterton