Tag Archive for: humour

Just for fun – some crazy questions …

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are The OTHERS here for?

Clones are people two.

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Think "honk" if you're telepathic.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

What is the speed of dark?

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

I just got skylights put in my place The people who live upstairs are furious.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Just for fun … dedication

Just for fun ... "To my daughter Leonora without whose never-failing sympathy and encouragement this book would have been finished in half the time."

- P.G. Wodehouse's dedication in "The Heart of a Goof"

Just for fun – A dedication

"To my daughter Leonora without whose never-failing sympathy and encouragement this book would have been finished in half the time."

- P.G. Wodehouse's dedication in "The Heart of a Goof"

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From Pivotal Kids – Just for fun

What do people do in clock factories?
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They make faces all day.

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Just for fun – George Carlin on Ageing

… George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life .. . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

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Just for fun

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

--Jean Giraudoux

Business jargon and management buzzwords – LOL

I just love this list - "A tongue-in-cheek guide to business jargon and management buzzwords since 2002"
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Bring some laughter into your day

We can all use more laughter in our lives. Laughter is one of the simple joys of life! Take a few minutes to enjoy the movie, Laughter is an Instant Vacation. This is the perfect way to bring a well deserved break to anyone's day .... laugh, chuckle and take a little stress out of your day.

“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.”
Doug Larson

Laughter Movie

Have fun sharing the joy of laughter with your team, friends and family.

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When more is not enough – just for fun

Balanced living means that more than ever the demands on our lifestyle compel us to Aspire, Achieve, and Attain!  But sometimes we need a little help in getting what we want.

WHEN MORE IS NOT ENOUGH

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Public Speaking Tip: Use Humor


Use humor in presentations to make yourself more likable. Humor is a great rapport builder which knocks down audience resistance to your message. Make sure you space it throughout your presentation. You will subconsciously or consciously be tagged as trite by the audience members and out of touch if you tell a joke at the beginning and then forget humor for the rest of the presentation.

(Ref: Wake 'em Up Business Presentations Page 4)http://www.antion.com/wakebook.htm