Tag Archive for: personal growth

'For me, the word "bloom" encapsulates the idea that anything is possible when you put your mind to it. It's a word that hints at becoming who you are meant to be.' 
 
What makes you happy? What makes you you? What defines your style? 
 
In Bloom, Estee Lalonde shares the moments, people and things that have made her who she is today. She reveals her life lessons, and offers her tips for surviving life and finding you. 
 
Celebrate your bloom story and what makes you unique.
 
 

About Estee Lalonde 
Estee Lalonde is one of the stand-out voices of the digital generation. 
A beauty-and-lifestyle vlogger and social influencer, she has attracted a global audience of millions across her YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Snapchat platforms and is known for her friendly, honest and relatable personality. 
Estee Lalonde won InStyle UK's Best Beauty Reviewer Award in 2015 and has partnered up with a number of key global brands, from Burberry and The Body Shop to the United Nations for their Global Goals campaign. 
From a small town in Canada, Estee has lived in the UK for nearly a decade with her boyfriend Aslan and dog Reggie. Both feature across her channels and are also adored by her fans. www.esteelalonde.com @EsteeLalonde www.youtube.com/esteelalonde

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Pivotal stories - Carrot, egg or coffee bean

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.

She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that, as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen.

She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire.

Soon the pots came to a boil.

In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners.

She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," the young woman replied.




The mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water - but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened!

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" the mother asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?




Am I the carrot that seems strong but, with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat?
Did I have a fluid spirit but, after a death, a breakup, or a financial hardship, does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavour. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

     "Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!" My father yelled at me.   "Can't you do anything right?"

Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle.

"I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving."

My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.

Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do about him?

Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington  and  Oregon  He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often.

The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his powers.

The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.

Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing.

At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived... But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust.

Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue..

Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind.

But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.

The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered in vain.

Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, "I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article."

I listened as she read.. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.

I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons too big, too small, too much hair. As I neared the last pen a dog  in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed..

Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention.. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.

I pointed to the dog "Can you tell me about him?"

The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement. "He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow.." He gestured helplessly.

As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. "You mean you're going to kill him?"

"Ma'am," he said gently, "that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog."

I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. "I'll take him," I said..

I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch. "Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I said excitedly.

Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. "If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it" Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.

Anger rose inside me It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples. "You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!"

Dad ignored me. "Did you hear me, Dad?" I screamed.

At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.

We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.

Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal.

It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne.  Together he and Cheyenne  explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and  Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.

Dad and  Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne  made many friends. Then late one night I was startled to feel  Cheyenne's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.

Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed.. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.

The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it."

"I've often thanked God for sending that angel," he said.

For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article....

Cheyenne 's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter. .. ..his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father. . and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.


     This story was written by Catherine Moore and originally published here 




When I was between eleven and twelve years old I decided one bright sunny day that it would be fun to go fishing. I didn't have any fishing gear and I had never done much fishing other than to play on the stream banks while my father fished. I also didn't want to "hurt" the fish I just wanted to catch them and then let them go.

I looked around the house for what I could use and I found a washed out old mayonnaise jar. You know the old style jars with the big open "mouth". I walked to a nearby pond and put the jar down in the soft dust-like mud of the water's edge with the open "mouth" of the jar facing toward the center. I then stirred the waters a little and made them cloudy so that the fish would have trouble seeing me. Then I waited hovering over the jar. Gradually, cautiously a small fish would swim up to the clear jar to investigate the disturbance and when it swam into the jar I dropped my hand into the water and over the jar mouth. I caught a fish, then another.

I just let them all go and returned my jar to the cupboard. Then I decided to use wire "box trap" to go fishing and rigged a string to the door. This way I could drop the trap in the water and not have to "hover over" it like I did with the jar. I sat very relaxed on the bank of the pond and sure enough I caught a fair sized bluegill. I took it home in a water filled plastic waste basket to show my dad and afterward returned it to the pond.

When I told people about how I had caught the fish they just paused and laughed nervously. You see unlike these people, I didn't know that you couldn't catch fish in a jar. If I would have asked them they would have scoffed and said, "You can't catch fish in a jar or a box trap!" No one in my life had ever dreamed of telling me that so my belief system did not contain these words or the impact that they would have had on my "day of fishing". Only a free minded kid could come up with an idea of using a jar or a box trap to catch fish! No one had told me that this was impossible so I just used what I was familiar with and what I had available and I succeeded.

Maybe today finds you facing a situation that seems impossible. You have a desire but no visible way of bringing it into being. You may need to find that "kid" inside you who thinks "outside the box" and the normal ways of achieving things and let him or her catch that fish in a jar! See your situation from a different angle. Start looking at the resources that you already have and the things that you are already familiar with. A fresh perspective and a childlike sense of wonder may surprise you and there's no telling what you will come up with!

Jami Sell

Catching Fish In A Jar is an excerpt from author Jami Sell's book Thought And Belief: How To Unlock Your Potential And Fulfill Your Destiny! © 2010 All Rights Reserved. It is available at amazon.com, the Book Depository, and in fine bookstores.

What was the most challenging period of your life? What was the hardest, most difficult time in your journey? 

Is it possible that this event was the best thing that ever happened to you? 

Watch Jack discuss this counter-intuitive idea that can help you turn adversity into triumph.

 

 
 
In these amazing times of great change, we are faced with an overwhelming amount of choices on all levels of significance. In order to make clear decisions in line with our personal goals and highest good, it is important to maintain our inner balance and harmonious center point. That source of genuine strength, wisdom and ultimate potential is held within us every moment as unconditional love.

Bringing our conscious awareness into each “now” moment affords us the opportunity to be fully present and to realize we are whole, complete and capable of creating a more joyful life. Our personal perspective is the key and when we choose a loving perspective we create a love-filled reality.

However, as we move forward in life, one of the greatest obstacles we often face is fear. It influences our choices and decisions and usually keeps us from our natural success. In fact, it seems these days that fear has a hold on our collective reality. Don't believe it. Fear itself is not real.

Fear is nothing more than a notion, idea, concept, thought and feeling. It is ultimately an acceptance of self doubt. We give birth and life to these thoughts by empowering them with our attention. The more we focus upon suggestions and ideas of fear, the more prominent they become in our awareness.

Historically, fear has been a powerful motivator and stimulated great change. Yet it has often come at very great cost. When fearful thoughts are misunderstood and their positive influence and opportunity to rise above a situation through love is ignored, death and destruction are the result.

There is another way to experience life and that is with love. When we begin to understand that ALL life is interconnected we start to realize the true power we wield each moment. Only love expands our reality through joyful and positive solutions. Fear cannot.

Once thought to be weak and inconsequential, we now realize that love is a dynamic and transforming energy that brings balance and harmony to all it touches. It takes great courage and personal strength to choose love and allow it to expand our consciousness. We already know the consequences of allowing fear, doubt and negativity to rule our reality. What would our lives and the world be like if we gave love a chance?

The exact moment we acknowledge love is the same moment we experience love. We have the power within our thoughts and feelings to decide what type of life we desire to live. We can succumb to the tired illusion of doubt and fear, or rise above and claim a life of joy and prosperity through love. The choice to love is the greatest power we have and it remains ours each moment.

Harold W. Becker is President and Founder of The Love Foundation, Inc. and is the author of UnconditionalLove -- An Unlimited Way of Being.

Rich with humor, insight, compassion - and absolute honesty - Tiny Beautiful Things is a balm for everything life throws our way, administered by the author of the New York Times-bestselling memoir, Wild.

Life can be hard: your lover cheats on you, you lose a family member, you can't pay the bills. 

But it can be pretty great, too: you've had the hottest sex of your life, you get that plum job, you muster the courage to write your novel. 

Everyday across the world, people go through the full and glorious gamut of life - but sometimes, a little advice is needed. 

For several years, thousands turned to Cheryl Strayed, a then-anonymous internet Agony Aunt. But unlike most Agony Aunts, this one's advice was spun from genuine compassion and informed by a wealth of personal experience - experience that was sometimes tragic and sometimes tender, often hilarious and often heartbreaking. 

Having successfully battled her own demons while hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, Cheryl Strayed sat down to answer the letters of the frightened, the anxious, the confused; and with each gem-like correspondence - of which the best are collected in this volume - she proved to be the perfect guide for those who had got a little lost in life.

About the Author

Cheryl Strayed is the author of the critically acclaimed novel Torch, the huge New York Times-bestselling memoir Wild and the collection of essays Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Someone Who's Been There. Her work has appeared in numerous magazines and journals, including The New York Times Magazine, The Washington Post Magazine, Allure and The Rumpus. She lives in Portland, Oregon.
 
 
 
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What are you most afraid of? Getting sick, going broke, losing a loved one, dying?

It occurred to me today that what I'm most afraid of is the Question. The one with a capital Q that haunts my mind like a foreign voice murmuring words that I know are important, but I can't understand.

It's the Question that interrupts my sleep and draws my attention away from things I know I must do. It churns in my stomach. I hide best I can, but it pursues me relentlessly.

Beyond the age of two, when questions are our favorite form of discourse, we tend to dislike questions. They point out what we don't know yet – and who enjoys that!

Questions whisper that we aren't totally in control. They're clothed in uncertainty that disturbs our sense of safety.

As personally distressing as these Questions may be, they aren't really personal at all. They are as universal as breath.

What am I doing with my life?

Where am I going?

What really matters?

At one time or another all of us face such Questions. And the quality of our days is highly dependent upon what we do at that very moment. Run, wrestle, or regard?

It's likely you've found that running or wrestling doesn't get you far. You can't out-run or out-wit universal Mind. Fight or flight cannot vanquish this fear. Regarding the Question openly requires the development of a different muscle – that of wonder.
It's a muscle we've flexed when we crested the western ridge of a mountain and were awe-struck by a glorious sunset. Or when we first looked into the eyes of a newborn baby and felt at once humbled and exalted. For that one instant your persona merged into the miracle of life and Questions ceased.

That's the approach to life's sacred Questions that reveals what we long to know. Simply stand before the Question that's chosen you and let the Question breathe. 

Quietly hold the unknown. 

It is only unknown because you've kept turning away. 

It's not fearful. It's the running that has kept you in fear. 

Cultivate a relationship with the unknown. Relax and listen. 

Allow yourself to hear. It's your destiny speaking to you.

Still rather have the answer? Are you sure? If you aren't clear about the question how do you ever hope to understand the answer? I think I've finally learned that answers aren't all they're cracked up to be without a clear view of what the answer answers. So, I'm learning to appreciate the pondering, the reflecting, the patience to listen. The Question is the envelope in which the answer lies.

Do now what you are most prepared to do now. Court the Question. Let it surround you with its mystery. Wait and know that in that very waiting you are letting the Question change you into the person who can finally hear the answer.

Karen is author of The Sequoia Seed: Remembering the Truth of Who You Are, a great read for anyone who is seeking understanding or guidance, inspiration or clarity in his or her life. Waking Up, the free bi-monthly ezine,