Tag Archive for: personal growth

How To Keep A Positive Attitude … When You Don’t Feel Like It

 

5000 years ago, a set of books known as "The Pentateuch" called it "zeal." 2000 years ago, another set of books known as "The Bible" called it "faith." 70 years ago, clergyman Norman Vincent Peale called it "positive thinking." 20 years ago, psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman called it "learned optimism." Two years ago, professor Shawn Achor called it the "happiness advantage."

But when you do a Google search on these terms, most people seem to lump them together and simply refer to them as "attitude," "positive attitude," or "positive thinking." There seems to be a general feeling ... that whatever you call it ... these terms have a lot to do with success in life and success at work. And they're absolutely right. As Achor writes, "Recent discoveries in the field of positive psychology have shown that ... when we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, and productive at work." The fact is ...

If you're not a positive thinker, if you don't have a positive attitude, you're in trouble. 

Without this quality or passion, life and work become quite drab. Most everything becomes a "have to" instead of a "get to." For example, the person who doesn't have a positive attitude says such things as: "I have to go to work today ... I have to call on another customer ... I have to clean the house ... or ... I have to pay my taxes."

By contrast, a person of passion says, "I get to go to work today," because he knows that work is so much better than not having any work. A person of passion says, "I get to help another customer," because she knows without her customers she wouldn't have a business. A person of passion says, "I get to clean my house," because he is thankful to have a place to live. And a person of passion says, "I get to pay my taxes," because she is grateful that she makes enough money to even qualify as a tax-paying citizen.

The truth is, if you're not a positive thinker, if you don't have a positive attitude, NOTHING can make up for it.

Education can't. According to historians, some of America's worst presidents were supposedly the smartest and best educated. And some of the greatest Presidents, such as Abraham Lincoln, had very little formal education. A resume may get you through the door, but that's as far as it will get you.
Talent can't. The world is filled with talented people who never achieve personal or professional success. Watch a season or two of "American Idol" or "America's Got Talent" and you'll know what I mean. Talent that isn't fueled by the proper attitude tends to fizzle out before the race is over.
 
Opportunity can't. An opportunity may open a door for you, but without positive thinking you won't make the most of your opportunity. In fact, it may never come to life. As professor Howard Hendricks said, "You don't put live eggs under dead chickens." But that's exactly what negative thinkers do.
Other people can't. It is very difficult to be successful without the help of other people ... or at least be surrounded by the right kind of people. But even that won't guarantee your success. A team with no heart ... no attitude ... and no passion ... will not go very far.
 
There simply is no substitute for a positive attitude. It keeps you going when others quit. It releases an abundance of energy ... an energy you don't even know you have ... and gets you through the toughest times. As novelist Karen Traviss puts it, "Faith keeps you going when there's no logical reason to. In its way, it keeps life going."
 

Bottom line? A positive attitude is the difference maker. So how can you get this difference maker in your life and in your work? Here are a few tips I recommend...





1. Keep your attitude stimulated. 

You may know some people who say they've lost their interest in life. Not much if anything turns them on anymore. It's just another day and another dollar. Chances are they're doing very little to stimulate their attitude.

Other people think they've grown past the enthusiasms of their youth. They're too old to maintain a positive attitude. Or they just don't feel all that well. But chances are, once again, they're doing very little to stimulate their attitude.

In reality, a positive attitude has no connection to age. At the age of 76, General Douglas MacArthur said, "You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. In the central place of every heart, there is a recording chamber; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer and courage; so long as you are young. When the wires are all down and your heart is covered with snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then and only then are you grown old."

Your attitude acts very much like a muscle. If you don't stimulate or exercise a muscle, it atrophies. It weakens and eventually dies. And the same goes for your attitude. If you don't stimulate it, it dries up.

If, on the other hand, you keep an active interest in life, you will maintain a powerful, effective, happiness-inducing positive attitude. I found that to be true with my Grandma Grace. Whenever I went to visit her, I would always ask if she'd like to get out, take a ride, go somewhere, see something, or do something ... because I knew she was confined to her apartment, due to her age and physical limitations. Invariably, her response would be "No, I'm not feeling that well ... or ... No, I don't really want to go anywhere."

However, with a bit of persuasion, I always got her in the car, and her attitude changed almost instantly. She wanted to see as much as possible and didn't want to miss a thing. I even persuaded her to accompany me on a trip to Norway at age 88, despite the fact she used a walker to get around. Her passion for life began to soar, and with her renewed interest in life and her positive thinking on the rise, she spent the entire trip walking without her walker.

To keep your attitude positive, keep your attitude stimulated. Keep on learning about the world, the people, and things outside of yourself. Get in the habit of looking forward to each day, wondering what new adventure will come your way.

And then...

2. Let your attitude play make believe. 

I know; it sounds childish. But the most successful people use this technique and swear by this technique.

Muhammad Ali, the world champion boxer, says, "To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. It you're not, pretend you are."

And Donald Trump, the world champion real estate developer, tells people, "Even if you haven't encountered great success yet, there is no reason you can't bluff a little and act like you have. Confidence is a magnet in the best sense of the word. It will draw people to you and make your daily life, and theirs, a lot more pleasant."

So I advise you, picture yourself as being competent, effective, and successful. Hold that image firmly in your mind and do not let any self-doubt erase it. Soon, your mental picture will become your new reality.
You can do that if you...





3. Tie your attitude to a long-term value rather than a short-term emotion.

When I'm speaking to salespeople, I often tell them to "act" their way through a tough situation. If they're in the midst of a sales presentation on a late Friday afternoon, for example, and don't feel enthusiastic, they still need to "act" enthusiastic. They need to "act" like this is the most important sale of the week.
Of course, someone in the audience will always say, "Are you asking us to fake it? You just told us to be honest, sincere, and genuine in all our dealings with our customers. And now you're telling us to 'act' enthusiastic whether or not we feel that way. I don't get it. There's seems to some kind of contradiction going on here."

No there isn't. There's no contradiction whatsoever ... if you tie your attitude to a deeply-held commitment rather than a passing emotion.

It's what one clergyman had to learn. He wrestled with how he could stand in front of his congregation and speak about peace, joy, love, hope, and faith when he didn't feel very enthusiastic at the moment he was speaking about those things. He didn't feel authentic. And yet he realized, if he yielded to his immediate feelings, if he let his sagging emotions influence his professional conduct, he could not inspire or motivate the people he was called to serve.

The clergyman resolved his supposed "contradiction" by making an authentic choice. He chose to adhere to his calling rather than his personal emotions. He tied his attitude to something bigger and more important than his momentary feelings.

You need to do the same thing ... whatever line of work you may be in. To get and keep a positive attitude, tie your attitude to a long-term value. If you're in sales, tie your positive attitude to the quality of your product and the way it helps your customers. If you're in leadership, tie your positive attitude to your belief in growing people. Tie your attitude to doing what is right and good, no matter what job you have. That way you can "act" genuinely enthusiastic and "be" thoroughly positive ... no matter what you're feeling.



Finally,

3. Cancel any negative thoughts that interfere with your attitude.

Getting and keeping a positive attitude is a not a once-and-for all proposition. It takes daily practice ... but fortunately less and less practice as you master these skills.

Nonetheless, you still need to deal with the negative thoughts that come into your mind. Cancel them out. As Dr. Norman Vincent Peale taught, "Whenever a negative thought about yourself and your abilities comes to mind, immediately cancel it out as unworthy, untrue, and unrealistic. The more vigorously you cancel it out, the weaker it becomes, until it disappears altogether."

Don't give your negative thoughts too much attention. And don't put yourself down as being too small or too weak. As Bette Reese notes, "If you think you're too small to be effective, you've never been in bed with a mosquito."

Willie Nelson is right. Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones and you'll start getting positive results.

Action:

Select two long-term values that are deeply held by you and tie your attitude to them.

As a best-selling author and Hall of Fame professional speaker, Dr. Alan Zimmerman has taught more than one million people in 48 states and 22 countries how to keep a positive attitude on and off the job. In his book, PIVOT: HowOne Turn In Attitude Can Lead To Success, Dr. Zimmerman outlines the exact steps you must take to get the results you want in any situation. Go to Alan's site for a Free Sneak Preview.
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Do Set Backs Stop You In Your Tracks?

Pivotal resilience - road

 

As you may have heard in that old but great movie Forest Gump, life can be like a box of chocolates. There are different flavours. You may not like all the chocolates in the box but you don't throw the box away, you decide what you would like to have.

There are a number of words to describe what happens when the result you want doesn't turn out the way you expect. Although the words "failure" and "obstacle" are often used, is that really what it is or could you look at it differently and use it as an experience to learn from?

There are bumps in the road of life for everyone. Nothing is absolutely perfect so it's important to your own well being to discover ways to handle any kind of setback if it happens. If there are no plans in place, fears creep in, overwhelm pops up it's head and stress takes over.

If everything was always smooth sailing you would not be very well equipped to deal with anything in life, especially when the outcome doesn't turn out the way you expected. The first rough patch and you would probably be carried off in a strait jacket.

Have you ever seen the hands of a construction worker? The palms are often thick areas of skin from working with equipment. Those calluses form so that next time his hands will be better prepared for the work.

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Kung Fu: The Difference Between a Master and a Fool

"Daddy, why is he all alone?"

Uhhh.

Leave it to a six-year-old to bring out your inner moron right in the middle of Daniel Larusso's karate training montage (The Karate Kid, 1984). The question caught me completely by surprise. He's training, I wanted to say. But he didn't ask what Daniel was doing; he asked why he was alone. And that caused some serious and surprising reflection.

pivotal stories - Kung fu

"A fool may live all his life in the company of a master and still miss the way." So says Buddha, and he's right. Even expert instruction from the world's most gifted mentor will never give us their skill. Kung fu's great secret is in the words themselves: it is literally "masterful ability that comes through the work of one, lone person." That person is you or I.

True, most of us begin by hoping for some dusting of the master's transformative magic, that sheer association with him or her will short-cut the process and atone for our own wavering commitment and lack of resolve. And while there is some merit in finding such a teacher, Nature does not so easily dole out her gifts to the half-hearted seeker. Everything has its price. True mastery requires action - lots of it.

Maybe that is why my undergraduate BFA advisor didn't give me technical advice when I asked how to paint with pen and ink. He just looked at me with that mischievous grin and commanded, "Well, go get some paper and ink and get started then." He wasn't interested in bogging me down with tips and tricks and tidbits of information when I didn't even have the materials handy. I was busy fretting about my firstpainting while he was wisely (albeit annoyingly) trying to get me to do my 300th. He knew that none of his answers would really help me until I gained my own concrete experience.

The same goes for every worthwhile endeavor. Step by sometimes-agonizing-sometimes-exciting step, a master tells you where to dig for your own mastery. The fool contents himself with knowing where it is. The seeker digs for it. And digging is what yields the reward: opportunities, experiences, and understanding that have always been there, but just beneath that first (or 400th) shovelful of soil. The sweat, the aches, the tears, the blisters, the sweltering heat, and, yes, even the need to keep digging when everyone else has gone home to bed or to parties - all of these are part of the price of mastery. Without them, all you can afford is a cheap imitation.

Of course, all of this rumination happened in the space of a few seconds with The Karate Kid theme music playing in the background. After which, I turned to my inquisitive son and told him, "If you really want to get good at something, to truly master it, you will have to practice on your own a lot. That's just how it works."

Not because solitude is required all the time, but because others simply cannot stick around for everything you still have left to do. And they certainly can't do it for you.

 
Robert Gardner stands ready to help individuals and businesses breakthrough their own limitations by giving them the gift of personal mastery. 25 years of diligent study in the martial arts, personal development, and inspired leadership have brought him to this point. Are you and your colleagues ready to begin? For more information or to experience a class with him at Chinese Shaolin Kung Fu, go to http://phoenixshaolin.com.

 

To Get Rid of the Ego, I Watch Myself Fall Right on Through the Fire and Into the My Soul!

I find the concept in this article interesting, and though it may have been written for a specific person or group, it has benefits for everyone....

What I read for a Capricorn this AM and my process below

The Akashic Blueprint: Expressed through the archetypal principle of the Sphinx ~ The Desert: Sacred Archetypal Element of Fire

You are in a fiery process of death, rebirth, and transformation. Spend some time sitting before an open fire or in the sunlight. Light some candles, especially in the dark days of winter. As you meditate on the desert and fire, consider what no longer serves you and offer it to the fire. Ask the fire to embrace and guide you safely through your transformation.

In the desert, we are surrounded by sand and a fiery red sky, with sun pouring down on the ground and wavy energy rising into the air. This is not a mirage, but rather another dimension-the domain of fire. Many mystics have quested for answers to life's deepest questions in that place of aridity, fire, and heat, for it is a place of true transformation. The energy of fire is quick; it consumes everything in its path in the blink of an eye.

The energies of fire push us toward the death of the old and the struggle for new birth, for when we go out into the desert we realize how tenuous our hold is on life, and how easily and quickly we might perish. Yet it is in our willingness to die to the old and leap into the fires of transformation that we surrender the outcome and the future to wisdom beyond our egoic minds and egoic designs. "Trial by fire" speaks of the tempering quality of fire: it burns away the dross, which includes everything except the essence of what needs to be carried forth. Out of the flaming heat, the scorching fires of transformation, true wisdom is born, rising up out of the desert pyre like a phoenix with brilliant multicolored feathers glinting in the relentless sun.

Special Interpretation Notes:

As one or more of the archetypes specifically associated with this spread are present, there is a doubling of their power.

===================================================================

Interestingly, I sit in front of the fire every morning and watch the waves of heat through the window as I light candles everyday in front of me and contemplate how my life is falling away in every sense... the fall before the Phoenix rising. I watch as everything goes away and I as quake in fear I also know that it must be so. I have written of this before and have experienced it too... not quite to this depth or a cut so quick to the bone, but I am blessed beyond measure for I know what a battle it is... to get rid of the ego and have my Soul be true. My strength at times has been my downfall too, and as I sit pondering it all, as I watch myself fall right on through the fire... and into the my Soul! And so I shiver and shake as I watch and wonder in anticipation... what is to come next!!

Author: By Federico Caprotta You can read more of his writings and comments on https://www.facebook.com/HowToMakeYourselfLookAndFeelBetter?ref=hl

 

The Simple Stuff


I recently drove across Sydney Harbour Bridge on my way to a very important meeting.

I always make a point of being early for meetings, so I can absorb the experience, the surroundings, and the quiet of waiting for the others to show up. This particular morning I was completely spoilt by my surroundings! As I mentioned: first, the Harbour Bridge in all its glory. As I drove across it I marvelled at the fact that it was built at a time when there was about 4 cars in Sydney (or was it 5?), and officially opened in 1932. These days about 160,000 vehicles use the bridge each day. What foresight they had way back in the 1920's when they began such a project!

 There's a lesson in that for us all: Live in today, and for today! But make sure to plan and allow for the future!

As this magical day unfolded, I was then welcomed by the spectacle of Sydney Harbour on a perfect spring day of 25 degrees C. As I was nice and early for my meeting, I went for a walk around Circular Quay which took me to the Sydney Opera House which was showing off its presence just by being there!

 Of course I was spending time in and around one of the most picturesque places in the world, however, we don't have to be in Sydney, London, New York or Dubai City to be able to appreciate what is around us! Regardless of where we are every day - we are surrounded by beauty and splendour - if we care to look for it!

 We are surrounded by nature's gifts: the clouds; animal and bird life; the sun; the moon; the stars.... enjoy them, as they're free gifts.

 Fathers' Day jumped out of our social calendar recently here in Oz: and again, I felt blessed to be able to appreciate the simple, but priceless gifts that are in my life! My daughter hand-made me the best Fathers' Day card that I have ever seen! Wow! She took my favourite photo of her (when she was about 3 or 4); and created the most beautiful Fathers' Day card for me! A Priceless gift indeed!

We then shared a few hours of precious time together; walked around the foreshore of Newcastle Harbour; and marvelled at the beauty of our amazing surroundings!

Some of them will be the gifts of nature which are everywhere (when we choose to look); and some will be designed and built by us! Appreciation of what surrounds us costs absolutely nothing; and soon becomes a good habit to embrace and share with others. Here are a few more gifts that don't cost a cent!


 Eight Gifts that Don't Cost a Cent!

 This simple checklist can help measure how you are nurturing your relationships.

The Gift of Listening
But you must really listen. Don't interrupt, don't daydream, and don't plan your response. Just listen.

 The Gift of Affection
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

 The Gift of Laughter
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

 The Gift of Solitude
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone.
Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

 The Gift of a Favour
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind. Good deeds are cool.

 The Gift of a Written Note
It can be a simple "Thanks for your help" note, or a longer expression of your appreciation for that person being in your life. A brief handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime.

 The Gift of a Compliment
A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job," or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

 The Gift of a Cheerful Disposition
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone.

 These are eight important ways we can contribute toward whole and healthy relationships. They cost nothing, yet they may well be the most valuable gifts we can ever offer another person.


 Phil Evans
Phil Evans is a Personal Life Coach and Small Business Mentor specializing in Relationship Dynamics. He is a Keynote Speaker on Life Skills and a variety of Business Topics. Find out more at: www.peoplestuff.com.au

How To Be Imperfectly Perfect

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." ~Anna Quindlen, Author.

 

 
Hands up all the perfectionists out there!
Some of us struggle with perfectionism.
I will admit it I am a reformed perfectionist. The core of my perfectionism was around earning approval and acceptance. This relates back to my childhood and going to the same school where my Dad was employed as a teacher.
My perfectionism was a shield that I could hide behind. I could prove that I was good through my results and not because I was getting special treatment from the other teachers. I was the perfect pupil at school. I demonstrated all the right behaviours: polite, good mannered, followed the rules, helped out and was friendly. It was here that I also developed and honed my people pleasing skills.
I was quite the model pupil, lots of 'A' grades on my school reports. My attention focused on protection as I craved praise for my performance and achievement. Perfectionism was quite addictive because I wanted to do everything just right. Looking back I realise that this strive for perfection was a protection mechanism to shield me from the pain of others saying that really I wasn't good enough and for judging me as getting good grades only because my Dad was a teacher. I became focused on what will they think of me? I had to prove to everyone that I was a high achiever.
Of course, this transcended into my adult life, work and relationships.
My perfectionism was not healthy, it was not about self-improvement or striving to be my best. It was about self-protection. This defense mechanism actually held me back by creating a negative belief system around what will they think of me? I created this to maintain my self-worth and avoid judgment, self-blame and shame associated with being the daughter of a teacher at my school.
Research shows that perfectionism hampers success and can create depression, anxiety, addiction and leads to missed opportunities because of being afraid to step out and be anything less than perfect.
Here's the truth.
There is no such thing as perfect.
It's a myth!
From my experience, perfectionism did not lead to results. Instead, it sabotaged my efforts and reduced my self-worth. I got exhausted always trying so hard.
I believe that perfectionism is more about perception. You only have to look at how today's media influences us: How we should look, what we should wear, what we should buy. The influences around us filter through and reinforce our limiting beliefs that we are not perfect enough.
The truth is about having the humility to step back and look at yourself as vulnerable and beautiful and a Work-in-Progress. Acknowledge your vulnerabilities and cultivate self-compassion by becoming your own best friend, loving yourself for who you are and begin to embrace your imperfections. Begin with empathy for yourself.

"It is in the process of embracing our imperfections that we find our truest gifts: courage, compassion, and connection." ~Brené Brown, Author

Being Imperfectly Perfect is liberating for me every day. Having permission to not have to get it 100 percent right all the time is hugely important for any human being. Most of us would never start anything.




I have learned how to let go of what I perceive other people think of me and today life is much more effortless.
I'm proud to say authentically that I am Imperfectly Perfect. I am doing the best that I can and this is always good enough.
Give yourself permission to acknowledge your vulnerabilities and embrace your imperfections.
Cultivate the courage to be Imperfectly Perfect.
 
Elaine Bailey is founder of Elaine Bailey International Ltd. a company devoted to coaching busy and successful women and men into their best lives. Elaine spans the Atlantic from the UK to the USA in her life and business coaching. She is a sought after motivational speaker, whose topics include "Business or Busy-ness? Four Ways to Get Your Life Back on Purpose. Please visit http://ElaineBaileyInternational.com.

 

Take This Word Out of Your Vocabulary!

 

"Should" - This is one of the most damaging words in our language! 

Every time we use the word "should", we are, in effect, saying "wrong." Usually when you think about the things you think you "should" have done or "should" do - you are only trying to please other people. Sometimes you use this word as a result of living up to your (or someone else's) unrealistic expectations. This usually occurs because you are afraid or feel you are not good enough.

Don't live up to someone else's standards - what do you want?!? Set your goals and expectations at a reasonable and attainable height. Listen to the words you speak and to your self talk. Be conscious of how many times and in what circumstances you say or think the word "should". When you notice a "should" replace it with "If I really wanted to I could/would... "
"Here's an example: Instead of saying, "I should exercise more."... replace it with, "If I really wanted to, I would exercise more." This slight change in wording and attitude turns guilt into freedom. And if you're really honest with yourself, and you really did want to exercise more, you would! You would make it a priority and make time in your schedule to do so! If you are happy with not exercising, then erase that "should" statement from your vocabulary and be happy and guilt-free with not exercising.
Here's another example: Instead of saying, "I should have gone to college!"... replace it with, "If I really wanted to, I could have gone to college." Again, this turns guilt into freedom. You may easily use excuses as to why this second statement is not true: I couldn't afford college, I didn't have good enough grades to go to college, etc. But these are just excuses. If you really wanted to go to college, you would have found a way! In this example, as with many "shoulds" in your life... it's not too late! If you still feel you "should" have and could have gone to college... GO! If something is important to you... do it! On the flip side, if you think you "should" have gone to college because your parents wanted you to go... release that thought! You can say, "If I really wanted to, I could have gone to college, but I didn't want to go." and leave it at that... because you didn't want to go to college, your parents wanted you to go!
These are just two examples, but you can apply it to anything you think you "should" do or have done. Try it out!
Let me know how this subtle change in wording affects the way you feel!
Author:  By Deanna Heiliger   Visit her Blog to become a "Better You!"   http://www.MeToThePowerOfWe.com

A Piece of Me: Reaching for the Sky

I was sitting on the curb with Goober who was crying from the excruciating pain in her leg. She leaned against my shoulder as I tried to console her. As we sat, she cried for her mom. She ached; she wanted her mom, but her mom was with my mom, and they had been drinking all night. So we sat together on the curb watching our siblings ride their bicycles against the gentle summer wind. We watched as they freed their hands from the handlebars and reached toward the sky. They were carefree. Their smiles were infectious. Goober tried to smile. I smiled. Their energy was contagious. It was powerful. For one moment, Goober had forgotten the pain from the tumor in her leg and smiled. This unspoken energy moved all of us to forget the negative pains we were feeling shortly before the bicyclers reached toward the sky with joy.
We pass unspoken thoughts and feelings to others. Let this simple act of child play lead you toward that positive energy. Stand under the big blue sky or the big gray sky, and reach toward it and smile. I just bet you will make someone else smile too. If that doesn't happen, realize the joy simply reaching up gave you. If you are daring, ride your bike and raise your hands from the handlebars, looking up and reaching toward the sky as the wind blows in your smiling face. If you feel less adventurous, just keep your hands on the handlebars, look up for a second, and smile.
Exercise: Really Look at the World
Today, I want you to go outside. First, go out for an early morning walk. Notice the dew on the grass, and feel the coolness from the night. Notice the quiet, free from traffic and noise. Hear the birds singing and the sprinklers going as they water the lawns. When you arrive home, get yourself a warm cup of coffee or tea. Sit outside; enjoy the quiet, the solitude. Close your eyes for just a few minutes; then open them. Notice how much greener the grass is, how much more vibrant the flowers are. Notice how much clearer you hear the sounds of nature. Look around you. Feel the warmth of the sun on your face. Embrace the moment. In the evening, venture outside. Look up and see the vast universe and the stars in the sky. Smell nature and all its fragrances. Smile, lift your arms up high, and say a quiet prayer of thanks.
....................................................................................
In Lose the Baggage, Lose the Weight, Lorna Stremcha teaches women how to use the P.I.E.S. way of life to positively affect the physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual aspects of their lives. Using life experiences and sound research she provides the tools that will help you understand the underlying problems and make necessary changes in your outlook and your life. ISBN#9781618627612

 

Heaven and Hell

 

I found this while I was cleaning out my inbox today.  It had been forwarded many times, so I have no idea of the author.  If you do know, please contact me and I will give attribution ...
 
A Holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, 'Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'
 
The Lord led the holy man to two doors. 

 

He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

 

In the middle of the room was a large round table.. 

 

In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, 
which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.
  
The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly.
  
They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful.
  
But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.  
 
The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.
 
The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell. They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.
 
There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.
  
The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.  
 
The holy man said, 'I don't understand.
  
'It is simple,' said the Lord. 'It requires but one skill.
  
You see, they have learned to feed each other. 

 

The greedy think only of themselves.'

 

Discipline

 


A very angry trainer complained, "Grains, sugar, even GMOs aren't the problem. Lack of discipline is the problem. If the people on your page would stop sniveling about what the problems are and just stop eating them, and get off the couch and hire a trainer, they wouldn't look like disgustingly fat toadstools."

His perspective isn't uncommon, so since he has put words to a sentiment I find unfortunately shared by too many, let's address several key points here.

Discipline is not an attitude, but rather it is a momentum. You can rarely, "Just do it," unless you've already built up the capacity. You're capable of doing anything within the inertia you've already generated.




Like pushing a boulder over small bumps (challenges), you can overcome the size which your momentum allows. But a larger hill will rob your inertia and stop your boulder rolling if you do not add greater energy to it, in the proper amount, at the right time and at sufficient distance before the challenge. If you wait too long, too close, to try and build up more inertia, then the boulder will slow, stop and may even start to roll back on you.

This is the problem many people have looking backwards on challenges they've overcome. They neglect to realize it was not merely a choice to roll the boulder over the small bumps they encountered, but rather the inertia already generated long before. Even if they only had to add a little effort to it, it is the momentum which predominantly achieved the challenges.

When you face a new challenge, you need to take a running start at it: surveil the terrain for the small preliminary bumps which siphon off your momentum, gauge the distance required to build up sufficient speed, estimate the additional requirements you must invest so that when you hit the base of the mountain, you're not surprised that your boulder slows and becomes a grinding effort.

How To Increase Personal Motivation To Achieve Your Goals

Discipline is only a choice within the bandwidth of prior preparation. When you find people complaining that you should just suck it up and gut it out, try to remain patient with them, and keep compassionate of the surprise life is about to throw them. They are in far worse a situation than they know, for when they encounter a significant challenge which their current inertia cannot easily overcome, the weight of that poor preparation will crush their will, catastrophize their thoughts, and pollute their self-perception into one of weakness and incompetency. The language they now use toward others will suddenly be turned on themselves, and we are a sadistic self-critic.

These impatient ones, pity them. Life is coming. It is far more dangerous to be overconfident and fail to prepare, than to accept your doubts and successfully prepare.

V/R,
Scott Sonnon
v/r,
Scott Sonnon www.facebook.com/ScottSonnon
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