Tag Archive for: success

The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
Dubois

 

Just stop for a moment and think back to those business goals, work targets, KPI's, and personal aspirations (lose weight, get fit, learn something new, etc.) that you set at the beginning of the year. Think about those visions of success, profits and happiness you saw yourself achieving this year.

Are you still on track?
...or have you broken some of those promises?

"Just a moment", I hear your say "I never *promised* that I would achieve them, I just committed to trying my best. I didn't break any promises, I just got caught up in other things"

To me, this is an excuse.
It is a habit of allowing yourself to not stick to your targets because you lose focus when under pressure.

Am I being a little harsh? Perhaps.
Am I being truthful and accurate? Absolutely!

If you want to have success and happiness consistently in your life, then you need to become resilient to pressure by raising your standards.

Let me explain...

Studies have found that your body 'normalizes' stimulants that it is exposed to on a regular basis. Meaning that you become somewhat de-sensitive, or less sensitive, to the frequent noises, smells, images, tastes and sensations of the environment around you.

Two examples:

The smell receptors in the olfactory (smell) system of the body of garbage collectors becomes less sensitive to the smell of garbage after about 6 weeks. The body adapts to the smell by desensitising to the smell of garbage.

Even an hour or two after putting on perfume, cologne or aftershave you become somewhat unaware of the smell. Your body desensitises the frequent stimulants around you.

So what has desensitisation got to do with becoming resilient to pressure and achieving your goals??

If you consistently accept an excuse, cop out, or lower standards of performance from yourself, then your body learns to accept that as OK. After a while, you become desensitised to your excuses and you no longer notice them. That's when they become a habit.

When the pressure builds up, if you have developed the habit of allowing excuses and cop outs to be an acceptable response - then you will always find yourself setting goals, targets, new years resolutions, but rarely reaching them.

 

Think about your excuses for a moment.
Which one do you use?

"I just got too busy"
"Sorry, I became sidetracked"
"I have been swamped with other work"
"I simply couldn't be bothered today"
"I just don't like calling up my clients"

What's your excuse?
Excuses are like armpits - we all have them and they all stink!

Top 3 Excuses and how to beat them:

1. 'I'm too busy and don't have any time'
Who isn't busy and pressed for time?
However, you can get into the habit of saying , or thinking, that you are too busy. In this frame of mind, you no longer look for ways to reach your targets, but get caught up in why you can't reach them.

Raise your standards by expecting more from yourself.
Solution: Create time via leverage.
You may have heard the saying 'If you want something done, ask a busy person'.
Busy people fit more into their day because they look at ways to shortcut those tasks/jobs by leveraging their time. A great example of leverage is outsourcing those tasks you would rather not do, or take up too much time.

 

pivotal stories - Kung fu

 

2. 'I just have to get through this first before looking at everything else'
Another 'excuse habit' that stops you from planning your success.

Planning a wedding is a huge event. It is an exercise in logistics, project management, HR, mediation, communication, and occasionally, health and safety. It would be madness to leave the seating, catering, venue, table decorations etc. all to the last few days - major stress.

In the same sense you have plan how to use your time so that you get the best return on each hour of your day. How do you plan your time?

1. List what needs to be achieved over the next 7 days
2. From that list isolate what needs to be achieved in the next 24 hours.
3. Plan your order of action according to:
a. What action will give me the best return
b. What is the most productive use of my time
c. What needs to be done now?

Sure, a time plan can change in the first 30 minutes of your day. So, just re-do your plan if/when that happens.

3. I just can't be bothered.
This habit trains your body to become lazy. It sends a message that 'it is Ok to stop trying when you are outside your comfort zone'.

If babies thought this way, they would never walk.
Instead, raise your standards by being accountable.

a. Accountable to yourself.
Write out clear targets and read them each day. Stay mindful of where you want to go and what you want to achieve. Set clear dates by which you want to accomplish certain tasks, etc.
Be accountable to yourself for your actions.

b. Be accountable to others.
Let others know of your targets, aspiration - personal and professional. This way if you decide
to fall in the habit of 'I just can't be bothered' you will know that others have an expectation on
you - which may kick you back in to gear.

.........................................................................
Michael Licenblat B.Sc.(Psych), Resilience Expert
Website: www.BounceBackFast.com Email: Support@PerformanceSolutions.com.au

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you're lucky enough to experience a rare occurrence where your natural gifts and skills lend themselves to a moment of grace, you experience a profound change. It can feel mysterious and awesome all at the same time. The key is to discover and nurture your natural gifts and skills so you create a life fertile for these breathtaking moments of grace.

I'd like to share with you a special quote from writer Anne Lamott:
"I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us."

In March, I posted a blog titled "Psychology and Success: The Magic of Your Talent Advantage". In it I wrote:
"When you use your natural skills consciously and intentionally something interesting happens. Your skills and talents don't just develop, they blossom and transform in ways that you cannot predict. By leading you into actions, environments, and situations that draw upon and support them, your innate gifts and skills open you to new possibilities that you could not previously imagine. New layers, new depths, and new meanings unfold that will draw you into new, unexpected manifestations and applications. You will not just discover; you will live your unique skills and talents. It's magic!"

A recent experience encouraged me to consider that rather than "magic," I should use the word, "grace": "a moment of unmerited divine assistance given humans."

Over the Memorial Day weekend, I went to California to attend a family reunion of my wife's relatives on her mother's side, and to celebrate my mother-in-law's 90th birthday. She comes from a long-lived family in which seven of the nine siblings lived to at least 90 years of age (the ages of the three remaining are 105, 95, and 90).

Part of the weekend's events included gathering to remember one of the recently deceased sisters (who died at age 98) and spread her ashes in a beautiful place along the Big Sur coast. I had previously only met a few of the approximately 50 people who gathered, so after people had spoken their memories and we had re-arranged ourselves to watch the spreading of the ashes, I was not surprised to see a man whom I didn't recognize walking toward where I was standing alone on the path.

It was a cold, misty, rainy day, as it so often is along the Northern California coast in late spring, and we were a curious bunch ranging from 18 months young to 105 years old, obviously gathered for a purpose.
The 'stranger' and I acknowledged each other, and then he revealed he was not a part of the family when he asked me, "What's this all about?"

I explained it was a family reunion, and that we had gathered to remember a recently deceased member. I pointed out the two sisters of the deceased, but was cautious regarding the spreading of the ashes, since I wasn't completely sure of the legality of what was happening (I have since found out that is technically illegal, but that it is a common occurrence and officials generally look the other way).

As we continued to talk, it was obvious he was just curious, unconcerned about legalities, and I ended up explaining exactly what was happening. His face lit up with a smile and he told me that his mother's ashes were spread on the hill right behind us; that this was a beautiful final resting place. He explained how he was seeking to photograph a Swainson's Thrush, but was unlikely to see one on such a cold and wet day. We stood silently for a few more minutes observing the scene, and then he wished us well and went on his way.

Even though I knew the woman whose life we were remembering, I had not shared any memories with the group. None of mine stood out as particularly significant, especially in relation to those of her sisters, children, nieces and nephews, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. But I had liked her very much and had been feeling a little diminished by not participating.

But the interaction with the 'stranger' left me with a warm, happy feeling and a sense of completion and closure.
It wasn't until later, during a quiet moment reflecting on the morning's event, that I was struck by the aspect of grace in my chance encounter.

As I mentioned, I had been feeling a little disconnected from the memorial because of my lack of participation, but the arrival of this total stranger presented me an opportunity to use one of my natural gifts - the ability to provide to others contextual understanding of what is occurring, in a way that includes them and makes them feel "a part of".

Grace is rarely a one-way phenomenon, and I don't know all of what the stranger received from our encounter, but I do know that in our brief interchange he got to remember his mother fondly, and share with a group of strangers a moment of connection and common experience. The experience remains a powerful one to me.
Discovering your natural gifts, talents, and skills is not just about success in business; it is integral to becoming you in all aspects of your life and sows the seeds for amazing moments of grace.
"If you work on your gifts they will make room for you." - Jim Rohn
......................................................
Gary Jordan, Ph.D., has over 27 years of experience in clinical psychology, behavioral assessment, individual development, and coaching. He earned his doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology - Berkeley. He is co-creator of Perceptual Style Theory, a revolutionary psychological assessment system that teaches people how to unleash their deepest potentials for success. He's a partner at Vega Behavioral Consulting, Ltd., a consulting firm that specializes in helping people discover their true skills and talents. For free information on how to succeed as an entrepreneur or coach, create a thriving business and build your bottom line doing more of what you love, visit http://www.YourTalentAdvantage.com

 

Leo had a secret. He was shy around girls. Like everyone sat around the circle at the NLP meet-up group, he had a limiting behaviorial trait that he wanted to change-- and FAST.

He'd tried everything. Self-hypnosis, positive thinking, dating guides. Nothing gave him the jolt he needed to enforce permanent self-confidence and actually talk to women.

But Matt wasn't like any normal NLP teacher, and this wasn't going to be like any interaction he'd ever had before.

He knew something that you won't find in any NLP book, manual, or self-help product ANYWHERE.

After applying this secret with Leo, the crowd watched in astonishment how he suddenly became the most confident person in the entire room....
in TEN MINUTES FLAT.

It was a complete personality upgrade.

He was fun-loving, out-spoken, uber-sure of himself. He even chatted up the girl right next to him in front of everyone!

And the best part is, you can use this same secret to re-engineer ANY new behavioral trait... even without Matt in the room.

Governments used it to teach their agents how to learn faster, and pick-up foreign languages fluently from scratch in under a week (yes, one WEEK).

Others use it to conquer fears, ramp up their IQ, cure life-long phobias and enjoy peak mental performance.

And you can be now be one of the very few people to learn Matt's secret RIGHT HERE.... and effortlessly 'upgrade' your mental abilities in minutes at:

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Your insider,
Bronwyn Ritchie

“Be prepared to ride the cycles and trends of life; success is never permanent and failure is never final.”

—Brian Tracy

"Achievement is largely the product of steadily raising one's levels of aspiration and expectation."

Jack Nicklaus