Tag Archive for: stress

Managing Your Stress During This Time of COVID-19

The ability to manage stress is vital to your personal and professional success in life. Right now, with all that's happening in the world, the ability to manage stress is vital to your survival during COVID-19.

Psychologists say that if you live a more balanced life, you will experience greater success in the long run.

Now, more than ever calls for living a balanced life. The various stresses which have come along with this unexpected pandemic have caused many professionals to feel unbalanced.

In an effort to help you regain your balance, here are a few recommended techniques you can use to manage your stress during this time of COVID-19:

BREATHE: make time throughout the day to do deep breathing exercises. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth several times in a day. This process will help you to increase the oxygen in your blood. When oxygenated blood flows to your brain, it helps to make you feel more peaceful and less stressed.



EXERCISE: get regular exercise to boost your energy and overall sense of well-being. Whether you work out with a Pilates video in your living room; lift weights in your basement; join an aerobics class via Zoom, or take a walk around your neighbourhood, a regular exercise routine will help to make your mind and body feel better. Another good benefit of a regular exercise routine is that it will also help to improve your self-esteem. A high level of self-esteem makes you feel good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself, you feel as if you can handle whatever comes your way. Make it a habit during COVID-19 to engage in regular exercise.

ENJOY SANCTUARY TIME: carve out time in your day and designate a special place in your home for sanctuary time. This will be time for you and you alone. Sanctuary time lets you take moments for yourself. Spend your sanctuary time in a spot that gives you a renewed sense of peace. Your sanctuary time can be first thing in the morning as you wash up in the bathroom; during the middle of the day as you meditate in your office; or later in the evening as you unwind in your living room. As long as you have private time to meditate, plan, and find peace, your sanctuary time can be whenever and wherever you decide. Commit to enjoying sanctuary time on several occasions within your week.

VISIT WITH LOVED ONES: maintain your personal and professional relationships during this time. Even though social distancing has become the norm, you can still connect with your family, friends, and colleagues. Sure, you will be using technology a lot more to connect with them now. The goal is to spend time engaged in conversation, laugher and connections to keep your spirits lifted. Phone calls, text messages, face-time sessions, Zoom meetings, and virtual parties are all ways you can visit with loved ones right now. Make a commitment to yourself to visit with a loved one each week until this pandemic is over.

COVID-19 has brought many unexpected issues with it which has knocked the balance out of the life of many professionals. The unbalance is causing professionals to be stressed out.

The four (4) stress management techniques described in this article are intended to help you regain levels of balance and eliminate sources of stress in your life.

Test them out and let them work for you.

In the world of inspiration and motivation, there is no other like Cassandra "D.I.V.A. of Dialog™" Lee. She is a leadership speaker who uses "Divine Inspiration Vocally Applied™" to help her audiences achieve workplace satisfaction and career success. To get a FREE copy of her special report, "101 Ways to Have a Rewarding Career," sign-up on her website at https://www.divaofdialog.com.

 

Become a Stress Revolutionary

 

For close to 100 years, most stress researchers have defined stress as the non-specific response of the body to any demand. If you really want to take control of your stress you need to do something really revolutionary and break away from this outdated conceptualization of stress.

Stress is much more than a non-specific response. If you stop and think about it there has to be at least one other thing involved; what triggered the response. Most stress-researchers of the past 30 years would also argue that there is a third component, what your mind tells you about the trigger and your ability to cope with it.

Realizing this I combine the three components and define stress as a combination of three things: a potential stressor, what your mind tells you about your ability to cope with it and (3) a stress response that kicks in if you feel unable to cope with it.

Viewing stress this way is revolutionary and it changes you in the following ways:

  • You stop being a victim who believes that stress is something that just happens to you, and is beyond your control.
  • You start viewing stress as something more than just "bills, traffic, Hurricane Irma, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton", or a million other things that you are exposed to every day.
  • You start accepting that what your mind tells you about potential stressors and your ability to cope with them is the key to managing your stress.
  • You start accepting that the jump from potential stressor to stress response does not have to automatically happen because you can intervene in all three components of stress..

Let me explain how:.When it comes to stress, words are everything.

 

Just substituting the words potential stressors, for stressors, begins to defuse their power to create stress.

By calling things potential stressors you stop accepting the outdated belief that certain things are universally stressful for everyone under all circumstances. The whole notion of universal stressors is nonsense and outdated.

Let me give you an example of a universal stressor that doesn't always hold up. In their original studies of life events, Holmes & Rahe (1967), pioneer stress researchers, identified the death of a loved one as the most universal of all stressors. They gave this life event a score of 100 points and gave it the most weight in determining if someone would suffer from a stress-related illness in the coming year.

Since then, countless studies have disproven their findings regarding the universality of Life Events. For example, the death of a loved one is not always viewed by people as a stressor.

Step back and try to think about this objectively for a second. I know this is difficult because death of a loved one hits all of us hard.

If you lost a child or a friend in their teens or 20s to an unexpected accident, injury, or violent crime would you view it the same way that would view the loss of your mom or dad who was in their 90s, had been suffering from a painful, debilitating illness, and had been constrained to a hospital bed for months or even years?

I'm sorry, I know this is painful to imagine or to revisit if you have experienced such loss. I have been there so I am asking for your forgiveness as I try to make this point.

While both losses represent the death of a loved one, would your mind view them the same way?

While you probably would feel guilty or ashamed admitting it, you might feel that the latter death was a blessing in disguise. In fact, if you are totally objective about it, the death of your mom or dad actually ended their pain and suffering and reduced your stress.

I faced this with the death of my mom who suffered for years with painful, debilitating illnesses that had her in and out of emergency rooms, hospitals and rehabilitation facilities. On many occasions she asked me to promise her that I would not let doctors or others keep her alive against her will when it was time to pass. I watched her waste away in a nursing home and ultimately hospice care and when she finally passed I must admit that I felt relief and a reduction in stress because I knew she suffered no more and her wishes had been granted.

When you can categorize something as powerful as the death of a loved one as a potential stressor, you can begin to view most other things as trivial, and not even worth getting stressed out over.

When you realize that the determining factor in triggering the stress response is what your mind tells you about potential stressors, and your ability to cope with them, it opens up a whole new world of coping possibilities.

 

Pivotal stories - Carrot, egg or coffee bean

Think about those words for a minute; what your mind tells you about potential stressors and your ability to cope. Those are two different areas that you can begin to work on.

One of the reasons I asked you to start keeping a stressor journal in the last column was to help you begin to look more critically at your potential stressors. When you do that you start asking questions such as; " Is that really threatening?", " Is this really worth getting stressed out about?", "Is that such a big loss that I am going to let myself get all stressed out over?", "Did what she say/do/imply really harm me in some way?"

Most clients who work with me for a few months find that when they first start out, they tend to overestimate the threat, harm and loss posed by potential stressors and underestimate their ability to cope with it. Their minds tend to blow things out of proportion and they do not give themselves enough credit for being able to cope.

After a few months of working with me that trend reverses. They laugh when they look back at their stressor journals and see how they tended to overestimate threat and underestimate their ability to cope.

Part of the change comes from learning that sometimes what your mind tells you about potential stressors, and your ability to handle them is not very accurate, helpful, or stress reducing.

Another reason for the change is their increased ability to cope. Over a few months they learn new and effective coping skills. This new-found set of skills leads to a more positive mental outlook regarding their coping. Stress experts call this your perceived ability to cope.

In other words your mind starts to tell you, "I can cope with that" when confronted with the same potential stressors that used to trigger a stress response. Once this happens, the power of your mind stops the stress response dead in its tracks.

Lastly, there are several ways to short-circuit the stress response even after it is triggered. Face it, sometimes potential stressors are real threats that you can't do anything about. In this case your mind signals the alarm and your body mobilizes energy to fight or flee.

What you can do to minimize the harmful effects of this response is cancel it out by triggering a relaxation response. In other words, even when you do get stressed you can keep the effects of this response to a minimum by not letting it continue any longer than necessary.

There are many ways to induce a relaxation response but the key is recognizing that you are stressed, and making the commitment to do something about it as soon as possible.

Dr Rich Blonna is an expert in understanding how the mind and body work together in creating and managing stress. He is the author of several stress self-help books and courses and the popular college textbook, Coping With Stress in a Changing World 5th Ed; McGraw-Hill Publishing. He is a retired Professor Emeritus from William Paterson University in NJ. Find out more: http://www.drrichblonna.com

 

Retrain your Brain and Tame Stressful Emotions with Mindfulness


>According to the 2014 Stress in America Survey, conducted and published by the American Psychological Association:

• 72% of U.S. adults reported feeling very stressed about money;

• 26% of respondents reported feeling stressed about money most or all of the time;
• 41% of those married or living with a partner reported having lost patience or yelled at their partner due to stress in the last month;
• 18% reported losing their tempers with coworkers;
• 35% reported constant nervousness or anxiety; and
• 32% reported prolonged periods of depression or sadness.

How Can You Keep Your Cool?

While you may not be able to change stressful external circumstances, you can change your response.

Mindfulness is a scientifically proven approach to self-calming and increased compassion toward others, and it can help alleviate all of these struggles you might be having.

So what exactly is mindfulness and how might it help you?

Mindfulness is defined as "the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally only to the unfolding of experience moment by moment" (Kabat-Zinn, 2003).

The definition of mindfulness has several components:

1. Using self-regulation of attention either by focusing on your inner experience or outer experience in the present moment. The focus is on being present to your immediate experience, which allows an increased awareness of the now.

2. Adopting an attitude of curiosity, openness, and acceptance toward your experiences in the present moment.

3. Refraining from turning away from unpleasant experiences and instead maintaining an open and compassionate attitude and a willingness to let things be as they are.

4. Focusing more on conscious control of your inner state instead of unconscious reliving of past learning.

Mindfulness is a systematic approach that has been rigorously studied by science. It is not a religion and it is compatible with many different faiths. Mindfulness practices have been found to reduce stress, anxiety, and burnout. Those who practice it are able to increase their self-esteem, empathy, self acceptance and regulation of emotion, due to their ability to take conscious control of thought processes.

Mindfulness has been extensively researched and shown to help with stress management, self-compassion, pain management, and overall happiness. Though it requires practice and attention, and is therefore not for everyone, there is a formal practice called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction developed and researched by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn of the University of Massachusetts Medical School Center for Mindfulness.

Mindfulness Practice

In my work as a psychotherapist, I developed a way to help my clients practice mindfulness throughout the day: Thinking of the word NOW is a reminder to drop into the present moment and pay attention without judgment.

• "N" stands for NOW, a reminder to stop, breathe, and attend to the present.

• "O" stands for OPPORTUNITY, a reminder to learn the lessons of living and become better instead of bitter.

• "W" stands for WITHIN, a reminder that regardless of life circumstances, you can find inner resources within yourself for healing and wholeness.

Train Your Brain

One problem with the evolution of our brains is that the "low road" part of our brain evolved for survival purposes, and has a quick startle response to anything that seems threatening. Of course, there are very few immediate threats in our current life, and so most of us overreact to things that we need not fear. We may overreact to a frown from an authority figure, back talk from our child, or an unkind gesture from our spouse. We can benefit in all of these situations from taking what scientists call the "high road" in the brain, and not responding from a startle or fear response. This allows for more informed decision-making instead of simply reacting based upon past learning.

When you are able to be fully present and aware, you have an open mind and open heart that are better able to make creative and meaningful choices. You learn life lessons and develop flexible new behaviors that lead to realizing your full potential. When we follow the low road in our brain, our potential is limited by our past learning.

As a result of adopting a full awareness of the present reality, we discover new opportunities and focus on positive feelings connected with inner potential and strengths. In other words, we are better able to develop our best self-based on acting from love, not fear.

Change Your Brain

Mindfulness practices have been proven by neuroscience to actually change the structure and function in the brain. When we engage in a regular practice of mindfulness for at least eight weeks, there is a thickening of the high road regions of the prefrontal cortex, the area relevant to an individual's ability to focus and engage in reflection prior to taking action. There is also a thinning of fear activation in the amygdala, the low road part of the brain, and this helps us to break the pattern of reactive fight or flight responses. Science has also found that mindfulness practice can help people defuse ill feelings or negativity by augmenting the brain's gamma waves, which are associated with an increased ability to tolerate ambiguity and relinquish control.

When you are able to let go of the need to be right or perfect, there's an increased integration of body, emotion, and mind. You learn to see a person with the freshness of mind and an openness of heart. Although you care about the pain and suffering of others, you're able to remember that you cannot make choices for them or control their lives.

Jon Kabat-Zinn also describes mindfulness as an inclusion of an affectionate, compassionate quality with the sense of open-hearted friendly presence and interest. For example, rather than immediately reacting from the low road if someone has made a comment that you find threatening, you stop in a curious way and ask, what do you mean? Countless arguments could be avoided on the basis of that one question. Either you misunderstood the meaning, or, if you take the high road, you become curious about what is going on and thus take a more effective response.

In summary:

• Mindfulness is a systematic and scientific approach to relaxation and stress reduction.

• Mindfulness helps take you to the higher regions of your brain such as the frontal cortex where you are able to make more informed and creative decisions.

• Mindfulness helps adapt to modern realities where most threats are actually in our minds.

• The physical structure of the brain can be altered through regular practice of mindfulness, for at least eight weeks.

• It is possible to train your brain to be more agile, flexible, and in a state of learning new and better ways to handle your life.

Dr. Linda Miles, is a highly regarded psychotherapist with over 30 years experience. Her book The New Marriage,Transcending the Happily Ever After Myth was a finalist for the Foreward Book of the Year Award. She has written many articles for professionals and published in national magazines such as Parents and Entrepreneur. Learn more about Mindfulness at http://www.mindfulnessrewrites.com

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Try This Technique To Be Your Best Under Pressure

Do you have a Power Phrase?

[You: "I ate a Power Bar for breakfast. Is that the same thing?" Me: "No."]

A Power Phrase is a concise phrase - one to five words - that encapsulates your highest self, the outcome you want to achieve, and/or who you want to be when you're at your best in moments of pressure. Think of it as a focal point, or a mantra if you like. Here's why you should have one (or more than one; you can have particular Power Phrases for particular situations):

When we're under pressure - whether it's on the job, competing in sports, or taking a test - our brain (actually, a specific part of our brain, but that's not important right now) can become overwhelmed by "chatter." Sometimes this chatter is external, sometimes it's internal.

For example, imagine a professional basketball player about to attempt a free throw. But not just any free throw. This is a free throw that could potentially win the game. But not just any game. This is the championship game. This is what's known in sports as a "high pressure moment."

Externally, the chatter arrives in the form of distractions. The noise of the crowd. The fans of the opposing team waving flags just beyond the basket. The countdown clock. If our basketball player focuses on the external chatter, there's a good chance he's going to choke and miss the shot.

Internally, the chatter can be even worse. "I missed my last four free throws in practice." "If I choke I'll lose the game and there goes my leverage for a new contract." "Am I bending my knees too much?" Too much focus on any of this chatter, and the result is the same. He chokes, misses the shot, and loses the game.

The solution is to focus on something else. Something simple. Something empowering. A Power Phrase. For example, a basketball player might use a phrase like, "Float and swish" to describe the sensation he wants to create in the moment. If he can keep his conscious mind focused on that Power Phrase, then his muscle memory - with the benefit of thousands of practice free throws - can take over.




Your own Power Phrase can be anything that reminds you of who you want to be when you're at your best. It can be literal, like, "Confident Leader," motivational, like, "I've got this!," or even whimsical, like, "I am Spartacus!" It doesn't really matter what it is, as long as it encapsulates for you a vision of you at your best.

How will you know when you've got a good Power Phrase? When saying it out loud, or even just thinking it, gives you energy. When you see the result in your posture and your expression. When you feel an instant mental and physical shift.

So what's your Power Phrase? Start by making a list of the qualities and attributes that define who you want to be when you're at your best. And now crystalize that list into a single, meaningful, energizing Power Phrase - one that works for you!

For 15 years, Executive Producer Bill Stainton led his team to more than 100 Emmy Awards and 10 straight years of #1 ratings. Today Bill helps leaders achieve those kinds of results--in THEIR world and with THEIR teams. His website is http://www.BillStainton.com

 

Pivotal Resources on Sleep

Read more

10 Ways to Deal with Stress

 

1. Relax! - Give yourself time to unwind and breathe every once in a while. Cuddle up with your lover or pet and enjoy a relaxing cup of tea or watch a romantic comedy.

 

2. Create Something - Take time to write in your journal or spend your spare time venting about your experiences. If you're artistic, some of the best ways to relieve stress involve writing! Pick up your oil paints or pastels and turn your frustration into beautiful flowers or a exotic landscape. The possibilities are endless!

 

3. Go for a Walk - Exercise is one of the best ways people can relieve stress and negative energy. Next time you're angry or upset go for a walk in your favorite park or spend some time getting fresh air. Go hiking or ride your bike on some trails with your sweetheart. The possibilities are endless.

 

4. Get a Psychic Reading! - Talking out your issues and getting psychic insight is an awesome way to relieve stress. When I get upset, I talk to my favorite psychics on the line for clarity and compassion regarding my situation. It's great to talk out your issues and CP's psychics are available 24/7 to relieve some of the stress.

 

5. Visualize Happiness - Thinking about things in your life that you appreciate and enjoy can make the stress melt away. Think about creating your favorite food for dinner one night out of the week or change your negative energy into positive, by creating a positive experience for yourself. As a kid growing up we would thank God before bed for what we we're thankful for. I still do this on a daily basis and appreciate everything I have and love. If you take a good look at your life you can realize how special it really is.

 

6. Clean! - A healthy, happy, clean home is known to draw positivity, just like a dirty one can draw negativity. If you regularly clean and cleanse your home it's a great way to relieve stress and reap the benefits of a clean home in the process. Imagine the negativity and stress leaving your body and your home floating far away.

 

7. Listen to music - If you listen to your favorite music and sing along, you can reduce your stress level by having fun and enjoying your favorite tunes.

 

8. See what's new in the news - When you're thinking about other people's lives and concentrating on what's new in the press and in the news, it keeps you informed and in tune with your environment. If you can connect with your favorite celebs and keep updated on the latest gossip, you'll be thinking less about personal mishaps.

 

9. Laugh it off - Laughing is one of the greatest and easiest ways to reduce stress--download your favorite comic relief from iTunes, check out what's new with Comedy Central. South Park is always good for a laugh, I relax and watch every week religiously with my husband. Try to jump in Red's or another funny psychic's callback, personally I love psychics that can provide comic relief when explaining your life's stresses and there are a ton of them on CP. Stay connected and in tune with friends and family, since conversation is a great way to provoke a laugh. 🙂

 

10. Get a pet!! - Working with animal shelters, as an equestrian, or even cuddling up on the couch with your animal is a great way to relieve stress. I've found horseback riding is great exercise, it's relaxing and it's a great way to enhance your psychic ability. Since you're connecting with an animal on a spiritual level and working as a team to accomplish something you're enhancing your Empathy and Clairvoyant abilities naturally. It's scientifically proven, petting an animal reduces stress and promotes healing and happiness in a person's life.

 

This article was Posted by Jen (Psychic Corrine) in Mind, Body & Spirit 

 

The heart of health. Life-affirming practices to Create Balance, Fulfillment and Inner Peace

 

Your heart is much more than a biological muscle. It signifies energy, vibrancy, life, love, hope, happiness, vitality, strength, and spirit. When we examine our lives and the priorities that we place on our routines—careers, finances, relationships, successes, and failures—none of them carry much importance if we do not have our health as a base to support everything else. We strive to continually improve the quality of our lives, our sense of well-being, our energy levels, and our mental capacities.

Life is a gift, and good health and a good heart should be our most prized possessions. Yet too often, we fail to treasure our health and our hearts until those blessings are gone. Many of my patients seem to live in a state of constant chaos. They perceive their lives to be problem-filled, busy and unsettled, and they lurch from one crisis to another.

Sandra is one such example. A busy single mom of three young boys, Sandra works full time. She drops her children off at school each morning, picks them up at the end of the day, rushes home to prepare a meal, and barely has time to help them with homework before it’s time to get ready for bed. Hers is a busy life that many of us can relate to. She is constantly stressed and worried, fearful of the next crisis around the corner. Sandra’s life is out of control. It is no wonder that she is on several blood pressure medications and is constantly in my office with chest pain and palpitation.

Living in a constant state of chaos serves a purpose for Sandra. By keeping her attention and energy focused on putting out fires, she avoids facing the root causes of her stress. If external events are to blame, she does not have to assume personal responsibility for her actions or behaviors. This is the common thinking pattern of many. We defer to the chaos and allow it to sap our energy, disrupt our relationships, feed our addictions, and subject us to long-term health concerns.

But we have much more control over our lives than we give ourselves credit for. We may not hold sway over the many external events that seem to pitch our lives into a constant state of crisis. Yet we have power over something just as critical: our own reactions to those events.

Health and a vibrant, vivacious heart are not wholly physical things. The life we desire, the health we desire, and the quality of our hearts and bodies are first created within our mind’s eye. I share many effective techniques with my patients to help us manage stress, bring order to our chaotic lives, and find deep and lasting peace with ourselves and with the world around us.

-   Build sources of renewable energy. Your body responds to stress with adrenaline, but adrenaline is a fast-burning fuel source that leaves you depleted in the long run. Renewable energy is a long-term well of power that you can draw on repeatedly. How do you build renewable energy? Spend time with family, friends and loved ones, doing things you enjoy. Nurture your soul with art, music, dance, and beautiful things. Love yourself first, and you will start to build boundless reserves of energy from within.

-   Lower your stress response. Meditation, nature walks, and quiet times will help you focus on the present and release stress. Play a musical instrument. Go dancing. Tour a museum and embrace an unusual piece of art. Breathe. Rather than letting stress be a source of agitation, train your physical body to relax. Let stress be a minor element of your day, rather than letting it define the whole day.

-   Connect with your inner self. Mindful meditation creates the right state of mind that will allow you to develop a relationship with your inner guide. Take an honest look at who you are inside and listen to your inner voice. Develop a relationship with your true self. Engage in a conversation with yourself. You may not always be aware of your inner voice – but it is always aware of you.

-   Learn to become present in the moment. This is perhaps most important of all. Focus on a single moment in time. Become aware of that moment. Savor it. Appreciate it. Fill your senses with it. Let the past go and don’t worry about tomorrow. All that matters is today, this moment. Embrace today, one single moment at a time. Don’t even try to capture it on camera – just be content to let it reside in your memory. Each moment is precious. Savor it.

By building peace within, you will create a powerful defense against the demands of a chaotic life. You will turn things around and regain control of your choices, instead of letting external events control you.

A strong sense of inner peace is something that no external factor can disrupt. More importantly, your inner peace will become a source of renewable energy that will keep nurturing you no matter what. You will have boundless energy and endless vitality that no amount of stress or chaos can take away. Make the right choices, and celebrate your vibrant heart!

Dr. Cynthia Thaik

Dr. Thaik's book, Your Vibrant Heart, includes many more insights about how to nurture and care for your heart on both a physical and emotional level. I invite you to order your copy today at http://www.yourvibrantheart.com/book.

Dr. Cyntha Thaik is a Harvard-trained HEART doctor that practices with her HEART, delivering security and peace of mind to her patients by orchestrating behavioral and mindset shifts to evoke lasting transformational changes in their health, well-being, vitality, energy, and creativity. You can learn more about her at www.drcynthia.com. 

How do I know if I have “Hurry Sickness”?

 

  • I typically drive 10 or more miles/hour over the speed limit.

  • I interrupt others and/or finish their sentences.

  • I get impatient in meetings when someone goes on a tangent.

  • I find it difficult to respect people who are chronically late.

  • I rush to be first in line, even when it doesn't matter (for example, getting off an airplane first in order to stand at Baggage Claim longer).

  • If I have to wait over a few minutes for service in a store or restaurant, I get impatient and leave or demand service. To me time is money!

  • I generally view as less capable those who may be slower to speak act or decide. I admire people who move at my speedy pace! I pride myself on my speed, efficiency, and punctuality.

  • I view "hanging out" as a waste of time.

  • I pride myself on getting things done on time, and will sacrifice the chance to improve a product if it means being late.

  • I often rush or hurry my children and/or spouse.

 

*You can find more on "Hurry Sickness" in the Bantam book, Time Management For Unmanageable People by Ann McGee-Cooper.

What is "Hurry Sickness?"

The hurrier I go, the behinder I get!" Ever have that overwhelming feeling of hopelessness? You go into work earlier, determined to get caught up, only to get hit with a deluge of crises, interruptions, and new projects. By the end of the day, you've worked as hard as humanly possible. Yet you marked nothing off your list while you added six big new responsibilities.

Sound familiar? Then you aren't alone because most people are experiencing the influence of downsizing, the acceleration brought about by new technology and the pressure to get more done in less time with fewer people and fewer dollars.

But Hurry Sickness is more than just feeling rushed and wanting to get off the "worry-go-round" of daily obligations, the corporate rat race, or relief from pressure cooker lives.

Just as Pavlov's dogs learned to salivate inappropriately, we have learned to hurry inappropriately. Our sense of urgency is set off not by a real need to act quickly, but through learned cues. Our 'bells' have become the watch, the alarm clock the morning coffee, and the hundreds of self-inflicted expectations that we build into our daily routine. The subliminal message from the watch and the clock is: time is running out; life is winding down; please hurry," says Dr. Larry Dossey in his book, Space, Time &Medicine. He continues, "The perceptions of passing time that we observe from our external clocks cause our internal clocks to run faster ... [Hurry sickness then is] expressed as heart disease, high blood pressure, or depression of our immune function, leading to an increased susceptibility to infection and cancer."

Another metaphor comes from the medical world, called fibrillation. When your heart begins fibrillation (a rapid beating), the blood is blocked rather than pumped through it. In Hurry Sickness, you begin to rush without noticing that you may be defeating your larger purpose. By rushing through a meeting, for example, you may "end the meeting on time" but fail to build the trust or gain the buy-in needed from all parties. If you rush through a phone call, proud of your efficient use of time, you may miss the hesitation in your client's voice, and lose the sale as a result.

Most important of all, you may rush through your life - be the youngest to become CEO, first to win the marathon, and first to earn your million - only to realize that, in your rush, you never quite had the time to enjoy your loved ones, or all the special moments that make life worthwhile. When a grown child tells you that you were never there for them, it can be too late to go back. However, it's never too late to hear the "wake-up call" of choosing to change and live life differently.

OK, so you've made your point! But how do I change when all my life I've been rewarded for rushing?

It's true. In school, you rushed to be first in line. You were rewarded for good work by being first to go to lunch. And the best student was described as being first in his/her class. So you must do lots of unlearning if you are serious about renewing your spirit, rediscovering your true effectiveness and enriching the quality of your life, work, purpose, and joy.

Here are some ways to begin:

  1. As you plan each day and look ahead to the week, plan windows of time to go off the clock.

  2. Take off your watch for the evening or weekend.

  3. Plan time to do nothing.

  4. Enjoy day-dreaming, doodling, snoozing, or coasting.

  5. When you evaluate your day, week or month, reward yourself for creating a balance of doing AND being, accomplishing work AND smelling the roses, being efficient AND being aware.

  6. Purposely plan silence into your life. Listen to your body, your feelings, and your intuition. The inspiration of genius rises out of silence.

Did you ever stop to notice the cars in the "Indy 500" race? Of all the cars that begin that race each year, less than half finishes the race! Not a great performance record for the most expensive, best engineered, and most carefully maintained cars with price tags of approximately $.5 million. What is the single greatest factor leading to their failure? They are driven at only one speed - and the faster the better!

If you have the courage to recognize your own Hurry Sickness and choose to balance this compulsive life style with a more nurturing and balanced blend of speeds (neutral, 1st gear, 2nd gear, and even reverse), you will improve your health, long-term effectiveness, and quality of life. You'll also become a far better leader and a positive role model for those who love, respect, and trust you.

Author:  Dr Ann McGee-Cooper

 

5 Ways to Protect your most Essential Commodity

Not too long ago I was at a leadership conference where one of the keynotes, Suzanne de Passe of Motown Productions, talked about protecting the entrepreneurs’ greatest commodity – our energy. Suzanne’s key comment was “how you spend your energy is how you measure your success.”
Boy did that strike a cord!

Why? Because every entrepreneur I know at some point on their ascent to success has to take a look at how they have used (or abused) their most vital lifeline – their energy.

Think about it. As an entrepreneur we are everything to our company. We are the creative spark, the leader, the manager, the product fulfiller, the customer service rep, the sales and marketing team (you get the point, right?) The one thing that keeps us going is our energy. What do we do if our energy is gone?

Let’s take a look at Sue. Sue has been going non-stop for months. She sleeps about 4 hours a night, has 15 – 20 crises a day, and truly believes that every single idea she has is a million-dollars waiting to happen. So every idea must be completed yesterday. Sue’s husband and friends haven’t seen her in weeks. She can’t possibly slow down for food, let alone a social event.

One day Sue finds herself feeling a bit sluggish. Pushing through it (I mean she is a super-hero after all, what’s a little tiredness) she finds herself two weeks later with a little cold. The cold turns into a chronic illness that takes over her life and takes down her momentum. Confused, frustrated and overwhelmed, Sue finds that she can barely get up to eat, let alone accomplish any work.

Now this may sound a bit extreme – but is it really? I don’t think so. I can’t tell you how many people I know who have literally been drop-kicked out of the game because their energy gave out. They got sick, tired, and depleted. (Yes, I admit, me too.)

So how do we protect this most vital commodity that is so precious? Here are a few ideas.
Always take care of yourself first. No matter what. No excuses. Workout at the gym, eat healthy, meditate, have down time, or get a massage once a month. You must take care of yourself. It’s a lot less expensive to invest in your energy when you are healthy than if you are sick.

Don’t Try to Do Everything Alone. It’s exhausting. It’s overwhelming. And any successful person will tell you it’s impossible. Figure out a way to start delegating and getting support. Learn to apply the golden delegation rule of “opportunity cost.” If you can’t do it well and it costs someone else less to do it, outsource it!

Learn to Say No. Oh this one is SO hard for most of us. You have to say no sometimes in order to support the “greater yes.” That means, in order to achieve our goals we have to say no to other people’s requests sometimes. It’s OK; you will still be loved and needed if you can’t do it all.

Know what’s Important. And even more critically, what’s not. If it doesn’t fit with your passion, values and goals, don’t do it. No matter what. Someone else will do it and everything will be just fine.
Release Tolerations. Tolerations are the things you put up with. Incomplete decisions, negative people, broken items, unresolved issues, etc. Tolerations can be HUGE energy drains, especially when it goes on and on. Make a plan to handle the tolerations in your life.

One example of how I protect my energy: After I give a presentation or attend a long conference, I always book a day or two off from the office. I’ll usually get a massage. I’ll use the time to put into action the nuggets from the event. If I skip it, I find I’m completely loopy and exhausted and worthless to my clients.

In Suzanne’s keynote presentation, she wrapped up by saying “get a sense of humor.” I couldn’t agree more. The world is only as frustrating as we see it. When we go through life with a sense of humor, we can find the thread of joy in any situation. I found in my own life that infusing every situation with laughter could always take the stress away.

Life is too short to waste our most precious commodity. Protect your energy and you will see how your success multiplies. Deplete it and you will see your success shrink. The choice is yours. I hope you chose to be good to yourself.

..............................................
Melanie Benson Strick, The Entrepreneur's Success Coach, teaches entrepreneurs how to stop feeling overwhelmed so they can create more money, more freedom and more prestige.Co-author of Visionary Women Inspiring the World: 12 Paths to Personal Power and contributing author to Entrepreneurial Spirits , Melanie is co-creator of The Unstoppable Goals Method: How To Turn Your Ideas into Income in 90 Days. If you are ready to experience a breakthrough in your business, sign up for a 25-minute personalized “Business Breakthrough” by emailing us at assist@successconnections.com.
Success Connections
Melanie Benson Strick
14320 Ventura Blvd., #222
Sherman Oaks, CA 91423
Telephone: (877) 830-3139
info@successconnections.com

A deeper look at stress

6 spiritual steps to help you cope.

A new perspective for today’s tension.

OF ALL THE THINGS that people have in common around the world, stress and suffering rank at the top of the list. Regardless of how much you make, your age, looks, culture, or job, you likely do not escape frustration and aggravation with ease - it’s a part of being on planet Earth. Fortunately, we also share the ability to rise above these things, and in many cases we can even learn to heal the stress and suffering in our lives. Spiritual traditions have long been the refuge from stress with simple techniques and philosophies that can transform daily life.

It is easy to feel that stress and suffering are unavoidable or that somehow you are doomed to face them again and again. This helpless feeling stems from the mistaken assumption that our emotions need to drive our decisions and our lives. The strong emotions that create suffering are rooted in either hurts of the past or unfulfilled expectations of the present.

A spouse, friend, or boss who talks to you the way a parent did while in a cruel or impatient mood will trigger the same old feelings, as if you were a child encountering the hurt again. If you have an expectation that people should always be polite or that airplanes should always be on time or that traffic should not be heavy when you are late, then you will consistently encounter the stress of that disappointment.

A spiritual perspective says that emotions like anger, anxiety, and sadness are normal and need to be felt, but when it comes to making decisions and taking action, we need to look deeper. It is possible to be less driven by old hurts and release the tight grip on unrealistic expectations. Learning about the power of perception and the mind-body connection can turn everything around. Here are six timeless techniques for managing or ending stress and suffering.

  • Breathe. When stress rises, the body moves in to a reaction mode: the body tightens, the mind races, and it is hard to gain a better perspective. Try taking some deep breaths. Breathe in through the nose, and instead of puffing your chest out, try imagining that you are sending the breath into your belly – push your stomach muscles out.  Then, notice where you are tense or tight, and imagine you are breathing it all out your mouth, slowly and easily. When you are in a difficult moment, take at least 2 full minutes to be with your breath.
  • Stick to the Facts. One way we create our experience of stress and suffering is through emotional ideas like worry and regret. Instead of keeping our attention in the present moment and focusing on the limited truth we know for certain, too often we spend our energy on worrying about things that haven’t happened, or we dwell on the past we regret. Remember, “sticking to the facts” doesn’t include judgments like “She’s wrong” or “He’s a fool” or “What if I lose my job?” Those are emotional ideas, not facts.
  • Forgive. The cornerstone of most spiritual philosophies lies in learning to forgive. Forgiveness does not mean that you pretend you are not hurt by someone or something, nor does it mean you condone a cruel or harmful act. Forgiveness does mean that you are committed to letting go of the energy, stories, and actions you have become caught up in.  Forgiveness means that you are committed to letting go and moving on. It doesn’t start with a feeling; it starts with a decision. Start by changing the way you act and think, and then, eventually, the feelings will follow.
  • Learn from Everything. Another common spiritual perspective that transforms hard times is to look for the lesson in each situation life presents. Even the most unpleasant and unexpected situations can offer you a great chance to learn what to do better next time or what to avoid or heal in your life. This is about the power of optimism and the ability to take a disappointment and turn it into something that makes you a better person.
    Failed relationships can teach you things like the importance of having clear boundaries, the importance of good communication, the importance of trust, or how to let go of self-doubt. A loss of work can open a door to find new opportunities, refine your focus on what gives you joy, or show you where you have things to improve.
  • Set Inner Intentions. One of the biggest hooks that catches most people in life is attachment to outer goals and desires. Spiritual  traditions have long been warning people about how dangerous it is to place all your hopes and intentions on wealth, sex, beauty, a dream house, and clothing. These things come and go and are based on things we cannot always control. Even the most wealthy find that possessions can be taken away at a moment’s notice, and the desires of life often go unfulfilled.
  • Commit to a Spiritual Practice. A spiritual practice is a regular time out from life to do something that helps you to feel at peace, learn about yourself, and connect to a sense of what is important. It is a time apart from stress and helps put pain and loss in perspective. It could be taking a daily walk in nature (without cell phone), meditation before work, prayer before bed, yoga, Tai Chi, bible study, volunteering at the hospital, or working in a garden. The key is to make it regular, intentional, and a non-competitive, non-work related activity. It should last long enough that you get a real break from the rush and demands of life.

 

 

Author:  Jonathan Ellerby, Ph.D., has dedicated more than 20 years of his life to the personal, professional, and academic exploration of spirituality, healing, and consciousness.   This article was published at You can Heal Your Life