Make Them Feel it

“People will forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” (Maya Angelou)

Truer words in speaking have never been said.
ls & whistles. We even saw some sleek exteriors as well. But we still settled on the Lexus.

And honestly, we bought it for the "L". The little "L" piece of metal that adorns the trunk and centre of the steering wheel.

Why? Because we buy with emotion and justify with logic.

Sure we saw more reasonably priced cars. But Lexus equals a bit more luxury, a bit more status, and a bit more class than the other cars we saw. And that's why we bought it. But we tell people, "we got a good deal", or "it drives better than the other cars" or some other reason that, although it's probably true, it's not why we bought the car.

My wife loves the car because of how it makes her FEEL. She loves sitting in the heated leather seats. She loves the push button start and the low hum of the engine. She loves cruising on the highway and feeling the smooth power of the vehicle.

Emotion is why we buy.
Emotion is also why we listen.

When you speak, you had better evoke some emotion out of your audience. Otherwise you WILL be forgotten after your speech is over. Maybe even before.

Make your audience do one of three things, and they will remember you long after you have finished speaking. Make them do all 3, and you will be far ahead of most speakers.

1) Make them LAUGH

I start with this one due to personal reasons. I love giving inspirational speeches. I literally get goosebumps when I get to the main message within my speech. I remember going to a conference and a speaker taught a breakout session on how to speak. He said that he gave motivational speeches, and that humor "wasn't his thing". I remember nodding thinking, "Yup! That's me! I'm a motivational guy, not a funny guy."  I couldn't have been more misguided. The truth is this - If eyes are the window to the soul, laughter is the gateway. Comedian Steve Harvey once said that his mentor Bill Cosby told him that when you get people to laugh, you have their undivided attention. And when you have someone's undivided attention, you have the ability to affect them and make a positive impact on their lives. Once I learned that, I made it a point to uncover and add humor EVERY time I speak, regardless of topic. If you want to impact your audience,add excitement to every speech, and have audiences asking to hear more of you, you should do the same.

Related article:  Once more with feeling

2) Make them THINK

When you speak, as Speaker Susan Lamb-Robinson says, you need to "Get under the skin, and get into the heart". Sometimes you have to make people think about the pain they will have if they don't follow the message that you are suggesting. Sometimes people won't move until the pain of standing still hurts badly enough. So don't be afraid to make your audience think. The emotion of Fear resulting from Inaction, can often be as powerful as the emotion of Happiness resulting from taking action. Make them Think, make them Feel, and they will Remember and Act.

3) Make them REFLECT

Reflection is an extension of thinking. When you find ways to make your audience not only think, but to reflect on their OWN reality or events from their past, then you've really got something! When people think about your story, you relate to them. But when they additionally REFLECT on their own stories in addition to yours, then you've moved them. They will be listening to you, while feeling the emotions related to their own lives. And that is a VERY powerful effect to have on someone. Get them to reflect, and they will be waiting for YOU to tell them what to do next.

People may forget what you say, but they will NEVER forget how you made them feel. And if you make them feel, they will also remember the most important things that you say.

This is a guest post from Kwesi Millington.

Kwesi is a public speaking, storytelling & confidence coach, teaching you to speak, share, serve and live with greater confidence. Check out his website at www.CommunicateToCreate.com and do watch his periscopes. He shares some very practical tips on speaking and story.

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Make numbers work for you

Speakers can use numbers to support key points. But too often, speakers use their data in place of key points, piling on number after number and, in the end, driving their audience to despair. Here are a few tips on how to use numbers to good effect.

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Blast Off to Big Results: Openings Set the Tone

When you stand up to speak, you have no guarantees that your audience will listen intently to your every word. We all know that behind those "I'm-all ears" looks, your listeners' minds can wander. Think about how much your mind has wandered during other people's presentations!

You can't gain support, sell ideas, or push a new initiative if people aren't listening. So, it's your job to shatter that fixed facade, grab your listeners' attention, and hold on tight. You have to earn their attention right from the beginning of your talk. Here's how:

Plan. Plan your opening words carefully. Don't stumble into your presentation with a hackneyed "Today, I'm going to talk about..." Say something meaningful (even bold!) that will grab the attention of your audience immediately. Don't lead up to it with trivialities. Think about your audience's single biggest concern within your topic, and speak directly to it. There are a lot of different ways to open a talk; just make sure you ichoose one that begins with substance and matters to your listeners.

Rehearse. Stand up and deliver your opening out loud several times prior to the talk. Make sure you can do it comfortably and reliably. For most people, the first words of a presentation are the hardest. Make certain you know yours well enough so you don't have to worry about them. By spending extra rehearsal time on your opening, you can turn the hardest part of your talk into the easiest.

Get ready. When the time comes to deliver your presentation, you will want to be focused, in control of your voice, your body language, and those pre-presentation jitters. So, before you stand up to speak, practice some "stage fright" prevention. Use our tips for breathing easily to warm up. If you have a chance to exercise or go for a walk before your presentation, do it. It's important that your mind and your body are ready to deliver a powerful presentation when you arrive in the room.

Connect. Make an immediate connection with your audience. Look 'em in the eye. Before you begin, find a "focus person" for your opening. The focus person should be someone who is sitting toward the back of the room and roughly in the center. Ideally, this should be a person who will listen attentively and will be a friendly face for your first sentence or two. Remember to establish your eye focus first, then take a fresh breath, and, only after you have a full tank of air, begin to speak.

Leap. As much as possible, jump right into your talk. Get right to the point. Try to avoid any long preambles or explanations. Deliver your opening just as you've practiced it, right to your focus person. Once you've landed your opening, the rest of your presentation is more likely to go smoothly. And, you will have gained the attention of the audience right from the start of your talk.

Stop ... and go. After you deliver your opening, pause. Let your words sink in for a second or two. Next, link that opening to the body of your presentation. Make sure your audience sees how your opening leads into your first point. There's nothing worse than gearing everyone up with a great opener, only to let everyone down by wandering off on other track.

And they're off... You delivered your opening and linked it to your first point. You've set the stage for your success. You've got momentum heading into the body of your presentation. You're out of the gate and rounding the bend. Just make sure to keep your head up, eyes focused on your audience, and charge ahead with an energetic and effective presentation.

 

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[Quick public speaking tip] 3 Ways you need to use listening if you are speaking to persuade

It's not just speaking ... when we speak to persuade.

Successful persuasion also lies in the ability to actively listen, even, and especially, in the field of public speaking.

 

listening_persuade

 

Successful speaking to persuade relies on knowing your audience.

What are their needs and wants?

How are they thinking about your proposal?

What are they likely to favour about it?

What is going to stand in the way of them being persuaded?

What are their doubts?

What are their objections?

What are the obstacles to them moving forward with your suggestions?

Listen to them - before the presentation - survey them, talk to them, ask the event organiser about them - and listen.

Listen to them - during the presentation - ask them questions - and listen.

Successful speaking to persuade relies on seeing moments where you can gain agreement - maybe a comment or question from your audience, a situation from which you can draw an analogy, maybe a report back from a group discussion.

Listen for those and keep a line of thinking open that will allow you to use those moments to really amp up the energy of your speaking response.

Successful speaking to persuade relies on your being adaptable. It's one of the lessons I teach in my workshops and seminars on PowerPoint. Be prepared to change the course or direction of your presentation. If it seems that your audience puts value on one point or discussion over another, or if the feedback, comments or discussion suggests that a different direction would work best, then be prepared to change the structure of the presentation that you had prepared in advance.

This means that not only is your structure working for you. It also means that you are building trust. You care enough about your audience to change direction for them and you are confident enough in your material and your beliefs to change direction for them.

Listen, then, to their comments, to their suggestions and the tone of their discussions.

So I have covered three areas of listening that will build the success of your persuasive speaking - knowing your audience, watching for opportunities to ramp up the energy and being adaptable.

Do you use any other listening techniques to successfully persuade?

 

 

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Quick Public Speaking tip – Gestures, naturally

gestures

Natural gestures are basically the aim for any public speaker.

We watch an excellent speaker, and maybe we notice their gestures.

I said "maybe" because if he or she is an excellent speaker, we should not be noticing their gestures.   We should be taking in the whole package as a message,

without noticing how it is done.

A major measure of excellence in any sort of craft, of course, is not noticing how it was done, unless we deliberately look or search..

If you suspect that are not a natural gesturer, ask yourself

"Is this a cause for concern?"

What does it mean to be "not a natural gesturer"?

Probably this is a person who is self-contained and does not need to gesture to keep their brain functioning or the speech flowing.

Not a person of flamboyance.

Why does it matter?

Get a second opinion, and a third and a fourth if necessary.

It may be that you are communicating successfully without many gestures.

If the feedback says that you need to improve -

and the reason given is that your presentation feels wrong, or rigid or unnatural

(NOT for the reason that it doesn't fit a set of rules that someone feels should be followed for no other reason than that they are rules),

then you can work on them.

The first step to take is to learn to stand with your arms wide open.

Get comfortable doing that.

Feel grounded doing that.

Feel yourself expand out to the audience doing that, while remaining grounded and in your own space.

Once you have established that feeling, it may be a simple progression to loosen up and become expansive with gestures,

flowing along with the emotion and flow of your speech.

If not, then you can learn to gesture - there are any number of general styles and specific movements that I have shared with clients over the years, but those who needed them were quite few.

Find the gesture,

then practise it, and practise it, and practise it until it becomes natural and flows with the language it supports.  If it is not natural or flowing, keep practising until it is does, because otherwise it will look incongruous and you may as well have not gestured at all.

I remember my days of representing my high school in competition speaking and being coached to put my finger on my nose when talking about people putting on sunscreen.

For days it felt weird, contrived, uncomfortable.

Eventually, though, with days and days of practice and a supportive teacher-coach, it became natural and I could produce it naturally.

It felt good.

It felt right.

It felt appropriate.

And furthermore, having relaxed through that performance, gradually, I learned to relax into natural gestures.

That was a child, nervous, aware of a very critical judgement as she spoke, and aware, too, of the people who had put in so much effort so she could win for them and the school.

With adult clients, I find those who need some guidance to "loosen up", generally do so quite naturally as they learn to believe in themselves and their message, along with the practice of standing with open body language and relaxing.

If you speak with passion - for your subject and for your audience's outcomes - your body will support your message.

Even if you make no gestures, your stance, your facial expressions and your eye contact, will work powerfully to support that passion and your message.

 

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Quotes about Public Speaking

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8 Secrets from the Internet that can Help you go Viral as a Speaker

viral

 

What is it that will make you go viral - become admired and rehired as a speaker?

What is it that will have audiences flocking to your presentations where they will engage with you, and change or act or think differently as a result of their experience?

Afterwards, their conversations will be about your presentation; stimulated by the experience, providing positive feedback to you … and to event coordinators!

And if there’s one thing event coordinators love, it’s speakers who come recommended, and with their own fan base.

What makes people tweet your sound bytes? What makes them recommend your presentation and share it? What makes them give that positive feedback?

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” ~ Maya Angelou

The answer lies in the viral elements you embed in your presentations. These are the elements that create an experience for your audience, make them feel something, involve them. They catch and keep attention. They heighten the impact. They are then held in the memory, and shared later. They are the elements that make internet content go viral and that you can use to build your own reputation.

Here are 8 specific elements that provide those experiences on the internet - making people want to share, and making others want to click and experience for themselves – that you can use in your speaking to make you and your message “go viral”.

1. Tell a story

People are used to watching stories on screens – in the theatre, on television and computer. A piece of content that tells a story, on the internet, then, automatically captures attention and draws an audience in immediately. They follow along with the story, waiting for the entertainment or the learning that they expect from a story. Your audiences, too, have been hardwired by a long history of storytelling to automatically tune in to a story, giving you instant engagement - in the same way. You then have the opportunity to draw them in with you, into the story, its emotional arc and its “moral”. Make it vivid enough, make it work to communicate a point, and you have created that element, that experience, that feeling; a memory to be valued and shared.

2. Appeal to an emotion
May Angelou’s quote says it all. Emotion on its own is a means for content to go viral, and for you to create an element that people will remember from your presentation. It can by funny (think videos of babies laughing) or sad (family loss or cancer’s ravages), moving or stupid, cute (all those Facebook videos of cute animals) strange or gross. Create an emotion to associate with your message and attract “hits” - attention, and “shares” – recommendations.

3. Add a roller-coaster to the emotion …
and you multiply the effect. You may have seen the Dove “sketches” video. It utilises this effect well, as the women, originally challenged and then gradually coming to realise that they are seen as more beautiful than they see themselves. The emotion swells. This is storytelling at its best.

4. Be Positive/Uplifting
While it may seem that we are addicted to negative news and all that is awful, there are many pieces of viral internet content that are successful because they inspire us and show us that, as humans, we can be good, kind, tolerant. The video “Validation” is just one. Inspire your audience and you create an experience that they value, remember and share.

5. Use the unexpected
People love surprise. They love the unexpected. The “Gangnam style” video had an element of the unexpected (along with “humour” and a human element that people could relate to!) And the Pepsi ad “Test Drive” was based around the unexpected. If you can create this element in your presentation you engage your audiences, you add it to your speaker brand and you can make it a powerful viral element.

6. Use a compelling opening
Open with a bang, something that captures attention right from the start, and you have your audience focused on you and your content. You can use something we have already listed – a story, something unexpected, something emotionally evocative. Or use something guaranteed to get attention that the audience shares, such as geographical humour, reference to a local or international celebrity or an event you all shared. But open with a bang and follow up with content that is equally engaging and you have the elements of an experience, a viral speech.

7. Inform your audience. Open their minds
The classic internet example, of course, is the TED talks which show new ways of thinking about their topics. If you can present a unique viewpoint on a subject, a point that creates “lightbulb” experiences, then you can establish yourself as a thought-leader in your niche. People will be drawn to your presentations for the insight you can provide; just as the appellation of ”TED talk” draws internet users time and again to those speakers.

8. No ads
There are so many advertising videos produced now that are produced simply to go viral, and there is very little mention of the product. Evian’s “Baby and me” is a great example, and so is the Dove ad we mentioned before, and the numbers are climbing rapidly. These companies are very aware of the role of the story, the unexpected, and the way it can create such an experience that viewers remember that and then make the connection to the product. We as speakers can relax in this knowledge, especially since no audience wants a “salesy” presentation. Make your “sale” whatever it is, secondary to your great content and you still can be successful.

In the end, what you are providing is a memorable experience for your audience and that experience is heightened by the viral elements you use. Begin with your compelling opening, and then provide an experience that moves people and gives them new ways of thinking about things and you will

• have them engaged and focused on you and your message
• have them remembering, repeating, acting on and sharing you and your message.
• impress event coordinators who see that you come with recommendations, that their delegates are engaged and responding, are being moved to change and are talking about the speaker they chose.

Want success as a speaker? Go viral!

Author:  Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, a writer, and an award-winning speaker and mentor. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk , a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. Boost your confident, effective speaking success, click here for Bronwyn's FREE 30 speaking tips. Join now or go to  http://www.30speakingtips.com or visit her website Pivotal Public Speaking

Just for fun – or is it? How to sound smart in your TEDx Talk

There are such huge dangers in following a formula and sounding the same as everyone else!!

In a hilarious talk capping off a day of new ideas at TEDxNewYork, professional funny person Will Stephen shows foolproof presentation skills to make you sound brilliant -- even if you are literally saying nothing. (Full disclosure: This talk is brought to you by two TED staffers, who have watched a LOT of TED Talks.)

Try watching it a second time with the sound off!!