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Friday 12th February 2009
Sunday
is Valentines Day. I hope you have a special
day whether you celebrate St Valentine or not.
Todays quotations
"I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to
represent Valentine's Day. When I think about
romance, the last thing on my mind is a short,
chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon."
~Unknown
"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"
~Unknown
"Never go to bed mad -- stay up and fight." ~Phyllis
Diller
"The Eskimos have
52 words for snow because it is so special to
them; there ought to be as many for love."
~Margaret Atwood
"No matter how
love sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the
first pill that comes along." ~Joyce Brothers
"Love is like
playing the piano. First you must learn to play
by the rules, then you must forget the rules and
play from your heart." ~Unknown
"If love is the
answer, could you rephrase the question?" ~Lily
Tomlin
and todays
jokes
The dictionary
of Dating
DATING:
The process of spending enormous amounts of
money, time, and energy to get better acquainted
with a person whom you don't especially like in
the present and will learn to like a lot less in
the future.
EASY:
A term used to describe a woman who has the
morals of a man.
EYE CONTACT:
A method utilized by a single woman to
communicate to a man that she is interested in
him. Despite being advised to do so, many women
have difficulty looking a man directly in the
eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but
usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are
not located in her chest.
FRIEND:
A member of the opposite sex who has some flaw
which makes sleeping with him/her totally
unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE
A woman's feeling toward a man that is
interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."
IRRITATING HABIT:
What the endearing little qualities that
initially attract two people to each other turn
into after a few months together.
NYMPHOMANIAC:
A man's term for a woman who wants to do it more
often than he does.
SOBER
A condition in which it is almost impossible to
fall in love.
ATTRACTION:
The act of associating horniness with a
particular person.
LOVE AT 1st SIGHT:
What occurs when two extremely horny, but not
entirely choosy people meet.
LAW OF RELATIVITY:
How attractive a given person appears to be is
directly proportionate to how unattractive your
date is.
A Thoughtful Gift
|
|
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he
had bought his wife anything for
Valentine's Day.
"Yes," came the answer from Tony who was
a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her
a belt and a bag."
"That was very kind of you," Jim added,
"I hope she appreciated the thought."
Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and
hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work
better now." |
I just had a dream about it
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After
she woke up, she told her husband, "I just
dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for
Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small
package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she
opened it--only to find a book entitled "The
meaning of dreams".
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